UNEMPLOYMENT / JUN. 30, 2014
version 5, draft 5

10 Reasons Why You Are Still Unemployed

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This article is for those Job Seekers that complain nonstop about being unemployed for the last 6 months with no reasonable explanation. Your last interview was a flop because the interviewer was ‘jealous of your good looks’. The one before that failed because the interviewer OBVIOUSLY didn’t have a clue what he/she was talking about. And then there are the several interviews that you “didn’t hear back but you don’t really care because you didn’t want to work there anyway.” Time for a reality check. You do care, you did want to work there, and in fact you have been unemployed for so long if Mcdonalds put out an offer you would be slicing pickles and flipping patties as your wasted years of University flashed before your eyes. So, let’s get to the point. There’s a reason you aren’t employed yet. Step out of your ego and gain some understanding from this harsh but true list of reasons you aren’t hearing back.

You are a liar.

Stop lying on your resume, and in interviews. The people interviewing you are HR specialists. They know exactly what they are doing and can spot white lies from a mile away. This will automatically get you turned away and an immediate loss of respect. Employers expect reasons for things to lie about - such as employment gaps or past salaries. They are more understanding than you think - so don’t be afraid to be honest.

Bad Resume

Your resume cannot be bad. It cannot be mediocre. Your resume has to be perfect. Not only grammatically, but the overall look and feel of your resume has to be completely professional. Make sure you have it looked over by some friends and family, or even an old professor if you are a graduate. Your resume is the MOST IMPORTANT tool to get you in the door for that interview. Sort it out.

Talk trash

Never say anything bad about anyone in an interview. Especially an ex- boss. Sometimes it is tempting if you weren’t happy with your previous employer, and even you have a valid reason for it. Nobody wants a trash talker in their office. An office is a personal space, and if you are going to be working closely with a team the last thing they want is a gossip queen. It also shows disrespect and dishonor on your part which can give the employer the impression that you might speak about them in the future. 

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