Interviews generally aren’t the most pleasant of experiences, they’re stressful; you are being judged both for your professional career and your personality and there usually is a lot on the line (namely a job, which will keep your bills paid and your insect collecting hobby financed). There are certain parts, though, that are excruciatingly frustrating that they actually deserve a spot on this exasperating list.
1. The Wait
Almost every interview has this part in which you are greeted by a smiling and polite receptionist, asked to sit down on a leather couch (why is that, so they can clean it easier? What do they think job seekers are? Toddlers, that spill apple juice on everything?). As you sit there an overwhelming wave of thoughts, regrets and questions pop into your head: did you prepare for the right questions? Did you turn off the oven? Why did you wear that tie/shoes/watch. That leather couch becomes your limbo, a dark place that you are forced to be in, before you learn what’s your fate.
2. Why Do You Want This Job?
Are there any freaking hiring managers, department heads or CEOs that weren’t once a lowly employee that needed a job just for the salary? Or, wanted to leave their job because their boss was the modern day equivalent of Genghis Khan and Mussolini’s love child? How about the perennial favorite: I left my previous place of employment because I was developing a drinking habit. There are many reasons people want the job, I mean, the fact that they showed up to the interview should be enough for the hiring manager, right?
If you are unfamiliar with Greek mythology allow me to be your Hermes (I said Hermes, not herpes, jeezus he was the messenger of the Gods). The Hydra or Lernaean Hydra was a multi-headed sea-serpent that Hercules defeated. Much like the Hydra, there’s nothing worse than walking into the room where the interview will take place and seeing multiple heads smiling back at you. Granted most of the time you will be warned but even then, there is the inherent intimidation factor that an interview has been multiplied by the individuals in the room. Here’s the formula for reference
n=people in the room p=pants poopingly intimidating r=relaxation (where r is never zero)
(n x p)>r
I know, it’s not fair to stress you out further with math but I’m not a fair man- I’m pretty sure that if I was smart enough to gather any type of power I’d be a malicious dictator but lucky for humanity, I’m pretty damn thick.
4. More Stupid Questions!
It seems that hiring managers always have a handful of dumb questions to ask from what’s your greatest weakness (when trying your best not to reveal it) to if you were a can of soup, what type would you be? Chicken Noodle, of course, do I look stupid?
So, one of the most aggravating, blood pressure increasing parts of an interview are stupid questions that deserve stupid answers but you are forced to answer them in a professional and “sincere” manner.
Are there any excruciating parts of an interview that I left out? Let me know in the comment section below.