Career Testing
Career Testing
Career Testing
WORK-LIFE BALANCE / MAR. 11, 2015
version 8, draft 8

5 Ways to Avoid Clothes Related Embarrassment

Stupid covers a wide spectrum of behaviors, from the ignorantly blissful to things that make you question if someone was evolutionarily stunted. There are various cases when stupid mixes with work, and the result is mortifying, terror inducing embarrassment. Here’s how to avoid being a social pariah because of clothes. 

See also: Fashion Industry Fails - Zara and Urban Outfitters’ Holocaust Chic

1. Avoid any article that can make you an unknowing exhibitionist

There are clothes that are workplace friendly, pant suits, button-up shirts, slacks and blazers. Unfortunately, they don’t do a great job promoting your unbridled sexual prowess. The thing is sexy clothes are tight clothes, and tight clothes under pressure tend to come apart, ride up or pop open. You might think your pectoral muscles are something that should be admired, made into a bronze statue and venerated. However, you’d feel like a monumental jackass walking around with your shirt open down to your navel like an impoverished John Travolta from Saturday Night Fever.

Don’t think that women are impervious to these clothe related structural failures. You think that your gams (gams? Really? What is this 1930s?) are the bee’s knees (ok now your just doing it to annoy me) so you want to gift the world with the vision of your beautiful legs. So you choose your shortest (still borderline appropriate) tightest skirt and venture out. Now I will give you a series of challenges and see how your gam-exposing attire fairs: reach for something high, now squat down, oh your skirt rode up exposing more than your gams? What do you know! Now sit, oh! You busted the zipper wide apart. What…a…surprise.

Solution: Wear something loser.

2. Trying too hard

 

Most workplaces are not catwalks; the only workplaces that are catwalks are actual catwalks. Keep the high fashion, avante garde pieces for your nights out. No one wants to see your crotch exposing male frock (that’s a thing trust me, and for the love of pie don’t google search it, or you’ll get an eyeful). The clear see-through plastic button up shirt you’re wearing is not a flattering addition to your business suit. I don’t care how good your pecs look Terry! Nobody wants to see a man that looks like a pickled herring in a vacuum sealed bag.

Solution: Avoid Crotchless Male Frocks, Clear see-through button-up shirts and anything too out there. That would include the pants-suit ensemble with the nipples tassels on it Nancy. If you want to add a bit flair to your business casual look, use a scarf, a pocket square or funky socks.

3. TMI

TMI for all you non-millenials out there is an abbreviation of Too Much Information. If you’re about to call me out for repeating myself, I’m not necessarily talking about clothes that are too tight. Flowing, lose clothes can be just as revealing as tight clothes. Linen pants, silk shirts and skirts on windy days might expose a bit more than your fashion sense.

Solution: Stick to traditional fabrics, dress slacks and cotton shirts.

4. Victim of the Cheap

We all like a good bargain and if it fits like it should or even better fits great, it’s a win. What won’t be a win though? When you’re in the office restroom and your trying to wrestle your pants/skirt closed because the zipper crapped out on you post-crap.

Solution: Just avoid the cheaper stuff, pay a bit more or have your dignity make a payment.

5. When in doubt don’t use color

Solid neutrals and earth tones outfits have been the fashion impaired saving grace for millennia. The more color and pattern you add to your outfit, closer you walk the line between business casual and clown casual. If you think that clown casual sounds fun, then I’m going to assume you’re unemployed and haven’t been employed for quite a while.

Solution: You’re killing me, pay attention: solid neutrals and earth tones

See also: How to Boost Your Work Wardrobe Without Busting Your Wallet



Have you had any embarrassing wardrobe malfunctions? Let me know in the comment section below!

Get our FREE eBook!
'6 Steps to Landing Your Next Job'

LEAVE A COMMENT

0 comments

 

RELATED ARTICLES

Love Sex and Scandal
WORK-LIFE BALANCE / FEB 14, 2015

Politics and power go hand in hand with sex and corruption; I don’t know why, I didn’t write the rules. Most of the time politicians, royalty and powerful people are very...

Horrible bosses 2
WORK-LIFE BALANCE / SEP 14, 2015

It’s the one thing we can’t escape. No matter how hard we try to evade the grim reaper, death eventually catches up with all of us. When the light at the end of the...

guy eat lemon
WORK-LIFE BALANCE / JUN 07, 2015

Oddly enough, summer can be one of the more stressful times at work. The change in schedules that comes with everything from parents needing to find child care options...

10 Ways to Avoid Lifestyle Inflation
WORK-LIFE BALANCE / MAY 07, 2015

When most people get a raise or inheritance, the first thing they do is spend their newfound cash. They might buy a house, cars or increase their entertainment and...

Fashionable Fitness Clothes
WORK-LIFE BALANCE / SEP 22, 2014

Most people who exercise, especially in the mornings and on their lunch breaks, understand how difficult it can be to get in a good workout, clean up, and head out to...

embarrassing conversations
WORK-LIFE BALANCE / AUG 23, 2015

Everyone has at least one embarrassing memory (but, more realistically, way more than one). It’s that one moment from your past that makes you actually physically shudder...

Get our FREE eBook!
'6 Steps to Landing Your Next Job'
G up arrow