Career Testing
Career Testing
Career Testing
WORK-LIFE BALANCE / DEC. 11, 2015
version 8, draft 8

5 Weirdest How to Guides Out There

We’ve all been there, looking for some expert insight on how to build a self-sustainable human android. Well, there is a plethora of strange instructional guides all over the internet, yes even on how to build a humanoid android. But that’s not the strangest guide out there by a long shot. Here is a carefully curated list of the weirdest and most bizarre how-to-guides on the internet.

See Also: How to Make Money as a Religious Zealot

1. How to Take A Punch

First of all, let’s consider the fact that it’s completely irresponsible to teach people how to take a punch. Secondly, let’s talk about the circumstance, is there someone out there that got his/her ass kicked on the street and tail in their legs searched the internet for : “How to take a punch”. I don’t think so, on the other hand, I’m not a human behaviorist, and if there is a guide, there is probably someone that asked for it. The best piece of advice is if all else fails and you must unavoidably take a punch take it to the top of the head. Wait, I thought this how to article was about taking a punch not avoiding one!

2. How To Make People Think You’re an Alien

alien poser
wikihow

Honestly why would you even want to convince people you’re an alien? I mean I can understand trying to identify with a different culture to make yourself seem cool or interesting, but trying to pass yourself off as an extraterrestrial seems a bit too much, but to each his own I guess. On the other hand, it would help explain your extensive list of questionable life choices.

3. How to Become a Ghost

Yes, you read that right, this is an article about something that is widely accepted as happening post mortem. Let’s analyze this insanity a bit further, though. It is generally accepted that ghosts are extremely unhappy spirits that are trapped in a place where they shouldn’t be. Ok, there are exceptions to the rule, such as Casper, but, in general, being a ghost is portrayed as something especially unpleasant. This article references paranormal investigators and even the Tibetan Book Of the Dead and treats the entire process like a luggage packing how to, but with the sanity of a person whose hobby it is to poke holes in fresh yogurt with their willy.

4. How to Curse Someone

Since we are talking about the paranormal, I thought I might include another spooky How to on this list. This is how to curse someone, including an explanation of terminologies like poppet (a doll that closely resembles the targeted individual) and mediums (which are substances that can transmit the bad energy/curse such as pins, rusty nails or other sharp implements).

5. How to Freak People Out

Just show them your face (ha-burn, that’s a combination of a chuckle and a burn). But honestly, this really does exist and its starts by instructing you to say weird stuff or talk in a strange voice.

See Also: How to Become a Sugar Pusher: Bakers

Do you know of any other weird how to articles on the internet? Let us know in the comment section below.

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