WEB & TECH / JUN. 24, 2015
version 7, draft 7

6 Mysteries That Were Complete Hoaxes

History has the uncanny ability to cover everything in a fine veil of mystery. People doing their duty – ha-ha! Doing their doodie) become elevated to heroes of unparalleled honor and courage. The annuals of history also happen to be chockfull of falsities, falsehoods, and flat out lies. Sometimes, these less-than-truths are written for propaganda, other times for patriotism, and sometimes for the sake of celebrity. Once in a while, these fictional affectations get decimated by truth-seeking do-gooders, and to everyone’s disappointment, the video of Bigfoot is proved to be a very, very hirsute man without his shirt on. Here are six mysteries that were complete hoaxes.

See Also: 7 Easter Eggs in Famous Movies

1. War of the Worlds

OK, so more prank than hoax, I think that Orson Welles’ famous radio broadcast deserves the top notch place. He convinced almost an entire nation that they were under attack by aliens, whipping them up into a panicked frenzy. As times were simpler back then, I’m assuming so were the people, because how else would you excuse the fact that people listened to a radio show on Halloween that talked about an alien attack and not say, “Hey… just wait a gosh-darn minute”? In any case, it caused mass hysteria, and that’s why it deserves the top spot.

2. The Crystal Skulls

Said to be ancient Mayan artifacts that would stave off the end of the world if brought together, these crystalline skulls have even be said to possess knowledge of future events. What they really possess though is crap, because they were proven to be craved and polished with high speed mechanical diamond-tipped tools. Even if you’re not a history buff, it’s easy to assume that Mayans completely lacked anything a) mechanical, b) diamond-tipped, or c) high speed. If they did, the Spaniards probably would have genocide-d them to death. The story began when adventurer and author (see, that should’ve been the first clue that his story was iffy) F.A. Mitchell-Hedges and his daughter Anna claimed to have found the crystal skull buried under the rubble of an ancient alter in what today is Belize. They fancifully named it the “Skull of Doom” and toured the world, charging people to just look at it. In addition to the evidence found that indicated towards a modern craftsman making it, it was also revealed that Mitchell-Hedges had purchased the skull at a Sotheby’s auction.

3. Hitler’s Diary

This hoax is probably not amongst the most notorious ones, but it’s definitely noteworthy for its audacity. In 1983, the German equivalent of Life magazine, Stern, announced something sensational. They had acquired a cache of Hitler’s lost diaries that revealed unbelievable truths about the Third Reich and its leader. After paying a whopping $6 million to acquire them, the publication started publishing selections from the diary. This journalistic triumph was short lived, though, as two short weeks later, the diaries were revealed to be fakes forged by Konrad Kujau. Mr. Kujau was a master forger but wasn’t much of a history buff, which completely dismantled the credibility of the diaries. He went to jail for 24 months while Stern zealously wiped away the egg off their face with pages from their now worthless diaries.

4. The Protocols of the Elders of Zion

So, hatred takes many forms, all of which are bad, of course, but some forms of hatred should be relegated only to the most lizard-like sub-humans. The type of hatred that I’m talking about not only creates malice, it proliferates and disseminates it too, and a book named The Protocols of the Elders of Zion does exactly that. In basic, it’s a fictional hate-mongering book which supposedly documents a meeting of Jewish elders as they plan on taking over the world. Since it was first published in around 1903 in Russia, it’s been translated into multiple languages and has since given three-toothed chromosome-deficient racists the “proof” to say “see, there’s a reason we hate them”. The world was a much nicer place when racists didn’t know how to read and write and when they procreated with their siblings which kept them away from us. One of the sister-screwing racists was Henry Ford, who paid for 500,000 copies to be printed. Just thought I’d throw it out there.

5. Magnetic Men and Women

The past few years, we’ve been receiving a nice supply of people that can stick things to their bare skin as if they were magnetic. If you didn’t immediately call out “bullshit!” the moment they held up a plate or other nonferrous material (that’s material that doesn’t contain steel and thus cannot be attracted to magnets), I feel genuinely bad for you, you poor, gullible bastard. The trick to their magnetism is actually not showering, and being a little chubby. I bet you wish it was magnetism after that gross explanation, huh? Well, too bad, that’s what science says. Deal with it.

6. Alien Autopsy

For some reason, humans are hell-bent on finding extraterrestrial life. I say, let’s just leave them the hell alone. If they can get to us, it means that they have better technology than us. And if they have better technology than us, then we can assume that they have better ways of killing us than we have for killing each other. Even considering that fact though, people still get very excited for any evidence (even fake evidence) of life from outside our Blue Marble, and this is exactly what this video took advantage of. A grainy short video shows a man in a hazmat suit prod, poke and cut into the “carcass” of an alien. After multiple experts reviewed the video, including the ones in it, they testified to fact that the people in the footage did not follow the appropriate protocols when conducting the autopsy. Although most theories postulate that the body is constructed, the experts in the video above say that it might have been an individual with a rare disorder called Turner syndrome.

See Also: Tales From the Shadow: Secret Societies of the Past that Still Exist Today

Are there any other hoaxes that you would like to tell us about? Let us know in the comments section below.

Get our FREE eBook!
'6 Steps to Landing Your Next Job'

LEAVE A COMMENT

0 comments

 

RELATED ARTICLES

Get our FREE eBook!
'6 Steps to Landing Your Next Job'


G up arrow
</script> </script>