Well this is an easy one, just pick a few spells from Harry Potter that can help in case you are about to get fired. Better yet, I’ll do it for you:
- Evanesco – it can make a target disappear, and even though you can’t use it on a person, you can still make any bad review vanish.
- Imperio – you can make anyone obey your commands. So, whenever you need something, just take control of your boss and enjoy promotions, a better salary etc.
- Obliviate – if your boss wanted to fire you, just use Obliviate and he’ll forget all about it. Obliviate is the best way to erase memories.
- Rictusempra – use in a serious situation to magically tickle someone, and thus efficiently remove the unnecessary tension in the atmosphere. That’s right this is a tickling charm.
- Silencio – when your boss starts yelling, take away his voice. As long as you can’t hear you are fired, you’ll be fine.
- Serpensortia – very useful, you can conjure snakes out of thin air. If you feel threatened, just start unleashing snakes at everyone around you. That’ll teach them not to mess with you.
In the event that you are not a wizard, you’ll have to handle these situations very differently. It’s more difficult, yes, but useful nevertheless. Here are some of the words that can have a positive impact on your job and help you keep it for a long time.
You should use the word “done” or word “finished” quite often. It means you are efficient at completing tasks and eager to tackle new ones. Just to avoid any confusion, you are not to use this if you haven’t finished your assignment, or if you have done a sloppy job. Use the word only after everything has been executed neatly, in order to emphasize your accomplishments and get noticed. You should also be careful when pronouncing “done”, because all it takes is one slip and it will sound like “dumb” giving the whole thing an entirely different context. Perhaps it is safer just to go with “finished” or “completed”.
This is a really useful one, a simple “we”. For example – “C’mon team WE can do this”. OK, maybe this sounds too cheesy, but the point still stands. By using the word “we”, you encourage team spirit, which is crucial for any line of work. As long as you use it in the right manner, one day you’ll be regarded as a potential leader, and you might even excel in your career. Additionally, “we” is a perfect word for hiding your guilt, in case you are responsible for something that went wrong. Whenever your boss says something like: “Who is to blame for this!”, just respond with: “We all are.” Common sense dictates that he can’t fire all of you. Much like with “done”, the word “we” also has a, let’s call it a backfire mechanism. All it takes is for you to get a bit carried away when pronouncing the “e” sound and you turn “we” into “weeeeee”, again totally awkward to say in a working environment, so be cautious.
How to increase productivity in your office? Well a simple old school tactic should do – positive reinforcement. The word “excellent” is all about praising someone for a job well done, and motivating the person to keep up the good work. In other words, if you work as a project manager it would be wise to react like Mr. Burns from The Simpsons whenever someone says they have completed a task (Excellent Smithers). You’re not only going to keep your job for a very long time, but you’ll also help your co-workers do the same thing. You can also make a sign for this word using a picture of an egg, human cell and an ant (Eggcellant), and it will make evaluating work more fun.
The real beauty of using “understood” before accepting a task is that you can use it even if you didn’t understand, just make sure you thoroughly google what you need to do or simply ask one of senior co-workers to help you out. Basically, you present yourself as a competent and intelligent individual, and then work like crazy to live up to your words. Needless to say, you can end up looking utterly ridiculous if something goes wrong, but you know what they say – high risk, high reward. It would also be useful to create a contingency plan in case things go south, e.g. make a good excuse for misunderstanding, so that you can justify why you said “understood” in the first place. The bottom line here is not to shy away from challenging tasks and be willing to put in some extra work in order to finish a task that is a bit out of your field of expertise. This sends signals to the higher ups that you have desire to learn and expand your skillset which is always a desirable trait to have in an employee.
There are different ways to say you will complete the job, like: sure, will do, you got it, etc. However, the word “absolutely” adds a particularly nice ring to it. You simply sound more enthusiastic about doing something when you respond with absolutely. You sound more confident, eager to please, and thrilled that you have been assigned the particular task. A promising employee possesses all of these qualities. Even if you don’t feel like working, try to fake it, because you are either absolute or obsolete in the business world. Another word that you can use instead of “absolutely” is “definitely”, so in case you get bored of one, switch to the other.
Finally, the last and most powerful word on the list, “Excelsior”. It means - ever upward, and it is the motto of New York State. One celebrity in particular, loves to use this word. His name is Stan Lee, the famous comic book writer to ever work with Marvel comics. Whenever Stan is excited about a project he uses this word, so that some of his enthusiasm can rub off on the whole team. It may sound geeky, but the word gets the job done, or in this case, lets you keep your job. It is far more potent than the word “we”, it adds the ring of the word “excellent” to mixture, and it basically says: “Let’s show them what we are made of!” The word also says: “We are doing great, so we must not lose our tempo!” Amazing, right? Such power simply oozing from one little word – “Excelsior”. The only drawback is that you shouldn’t use it too often, because it will eventually lose its meaning. So, make “Excelsior” the ace up your sleeve, to be used when all of the other methods fail.
Clearly, you cannot rely on words to do your job for you, or to get your message across when you use them in isolation. The words here are the ones that sum up what being a good worker is all about. Someone who gets the job done, who plays well with others, who respects his or her co-workers and constantly takes on new challenges. No manager or boss will give up on an employee with these qualities, at least those that know what they are doing; if they don’t then you are better off without them.