Career Testing
Career Testing
Career Testing
CHOOSING A CAREER / AUG. 05, 2015
version 10, draft 10

8 Perks of Being a Phone Sex Operator

So yeah I guess this is an ongoing series about phone sex operators, thank you for joining me as we dive deeper into the call center cubicle farms which desperate lonely souls contact to get their rocks off.  Actually being a Phone Sex Operator can be quite a lucrative affair, but it’s not the only perks of being a provider of auditory sexy times. Here are some of the other perks of being a phone sex operator.

See Also: The Professional Benefits of SEX

Money

Yeah, yeah I know I mentioned it in the introduction but $50 an hour is worth mentioning again. To be honest, the per hour pay for sex phone operators can fluctuate between $11-$50. But considering most jobs that pay that well are physically demanding, require long hours or are very competitive it’s a good deal.

Want to save a bit more money? Some sex line operators are allowed to work from home, so you can save money both on gas and work clothes since you’ll probably never bother changing out of your PJs. Just make sure if a customer asks you what you’re wearing not to tell him/her that you’re wearing baggy grey sweatpants with a stain on the upper thigh that looks like Guatemala. Unless there into that, then by all means A.B.C. (always be closing).

Ease

lemon squeezy

Easy peezy lemon...I HATE YOU LEMOOON!!!!!

Look, you are basically paid to talk on the phone, you don’t even have to sell anybody anything. Ok, maybe the longer they stay on the line the better, but most calls won’t last longer than a few minutes…for obvious reasons, and if the reasons aren’t obvious to you pick up a book about human reproduction.

The requisites for the job? Can you sit, pickup phone calls and groan? Perfect you’re a shoe in. Now, you could get creative and author elaborate sexual scenarios that involve Kamikaze Pilots, American Sailors and little old you on a desert island. But that’s just extra work…somebody might ask you for it, but the possibilities are very thin.

Sexual Awakening

wide eyed

I didn’t want to know about my banana peel fetish!!!

youtube

Have any repressed sexual fantasies you’d like to explore? Well, where better than at your job as phone sex operator. I mean you’ll even get paid to do it! Do you want to imagine yourself as a pirate scouring the seven seas for the perfect first mate, and then using cannonballs in unsavory ways? Or how about being a maiden washing your clothes by the river….you know what I’m gonna stop here, this is getting a little creepy.

The funny thing is that people with repressed sexuality actually pay other people called “therapists” to talk to them about sex and apparently this helps release them from their taboos. You get paid to do that! Way to f*ck the system champ!

You might meet the person of your dreams

creepy guy

This is much more "murder-fantasy" than dream...oh I’m sorry did I say that out loud?

clashdaily

You probably won’t actually. And I wouldn’t recommend meeting any of your clients outside of work. Especially the guy that calls and has you bark like a seal, I mean have you seen the movie Tusk? You might want to pursue finding your soul mate via safer avenues like hanging a cardboard sign around your neck that reads “Single and soo ready to mingle wink wink”. You know what? That’s a horrible idea too. Just go to a bar or something.

The Office environment is surprisingly professional

call center

See I’m professional as f*ck

Yes, surprisingly enough, phone sex line call centers are extremely professional, apart from the fact that they are populated by a battalion of moaning groaning Martys and Murtles. So put on your best corporate outfit, grab your briefcase (which is full of magazines, because why would you even need a briefcase as a phone sex operator) and go to your 9-5.

Safe Sex…Work

taylor swift

It’s Taylor Swift safe!

playbuzz

Phone Sex is probably the safest form of sex work in the world personally, physically and for your reputation. Most sex work will offer one of those, but seldom all. Take for example cam girls. For the wham bam thank ya ma’am description, cam girls charge people money to do various sex acts in front of a webcam including stripping, using…ehm….marital aids or masturbating for the pleasure of the paying viewer. Although it is safer than being a stripper in an actual strip joint, you can still risk your reputation because you are baring all for people to see…literally.

On the other hand, phone sex operators use pseudonyms, work in relatively nondescript places (it’s not like they have signs outside with neon letters) and once you leave the job, you can leave the sexy persona of Sally the Salty Dog Sex Sailor of the Salacious Sexy Seas behind. You can go back to being Tom the farmer’s market kettle corn merchant!

They’ll Hire Anyone

uncle sam

We want you, and you and you. Oh and the dude up against the wall over there

Well, I mean within reason. First they’ll tell you what the job involves, and then they’ll have you take a few calls and see how you do. Some places will actually “train” you for a day. I wonder if the training is like voice classes, with one person sitting across from another saying: “You know that was a great first try…but try to make your Oh babies a little heavier, maybe less pitchy too. Ok, let’s go from the top with two counts of ‘runners’ huffing and one count of oh babies.” Apparently they are always looking too!

Sex Sells

Kim K

Just ask her or Paris, or Pamela. See I’m not even using last names and you know exactly who I’m talking about.

amazon

Why work in an industry that can go belly up without warning, like the oil lamp industry? What you sell will always be in vogue. Almost everyone really likes it except super religious people. But then again they think everything’s a sin, and everyone is looking for it (again except the zealots).

It is super easy to sell to. You don’t need much marketing or advertising, people will actually find you, so you can give them what they want. Sounds absurd? How many people do you know who have been solicited for sex even though they weren’t even offering, that’s how well sex sells people ask for it even when you’re not selling. So, your job will always be in demand, unlike the oil lamp industry. 

Finally, there’s always something a little awkward about talking about sex in these articles. It might be you looking at me so intensely while rubbing your nipples. Yeah, that’s probably it…can I ask you to stop that please? I know you like it, but you have to consider other people when you’re in public. We’ve gone over this before. It doesn’t matter if you’re an enlightened star-child a lot of people just aren’t that open minded when it comes to nipple rubbing. So in conclusion, if you need a bit of extra money and don’t giggle every time you utter things that rhyme with: bit, dock, tick, angina, mushy or noobs then this might be the perfect job for you.

See Also: Can You Make a Career Selling Sex?

Would you like to add anything to this eloquent piece of writing please feel free to do so in the comment section below.

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