WORK-LIFE BALANCE / AUG. 15, 2015
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8 Useless Inventions

Quite often we come across a new invention out there and we can’t help but think ‘how was this not invented sooner?’ These are the type of inventions that generally make the world a better place and the reason for their existence makes total sense and before long we’re left wondering how we used to live without them. However, not all inventions are successful. Below is a list of creations that people have come up with that are totally ridiculous.

See Also: 8 Most Pointless Inventions Ever!

1. Training Wheel High Heels

All women understand the struggle of wearing high heels. No matter what you try the pain that follows after wearing heels for the entire day is inevitable. Guys like to tell us how crazy we are for choosing to wear something that is difficult and uncomfortable. However, before you can even get to that point you have to actually master taking steps in them. This can be a serious struggle on its own. This seems to be the reasoning behind the invention of the training wheel high heels. Maybe on the surface this seems like a good idea but take a moment to actually think about. Remember how hard it was to master a skateboard or roller blades? Now add to that the difficulty of walking on these towering toe covers. If balancing on high heels seemed difficult before, imagine how hard that will be if you’ve got wheels to deal with too. Also, imagine if you have to practice in a house with carpeted floors! We’re not sure how well those little wheels would roll. Even if you did manage to master these wheeled shoes, once those little trainers are taken off, it will no doubt feel like you’ve got to learn how to walk in heels all over again.

2. Butter Grater

A lot of people like to start their mornings with a spread of butter on their warm toast. If you’re one of those people then this invention may initially appeal to you. It’s a butter grater that will help you put thin strands of butter onto anything your heart desires. This is another idea that sounds good on the surface but doesn’t make a lot of sense when you really stop and think about it. The main problem faced by those buttering toast everywhere is how difficult it can be to spread. You fight to get a chuck out of the cold rock-hard block only to find that it won’t spread evenly. Eventually it may start to melt and get easier to spread, but by that time, your toast starts to go cold. If simply spreading butter with a knife proves a challenge how exactly are you meant to grate it? It would mean leaving your butter out until it gets soft enough and if you have to go through that process why not just use your knife?

3. Portable Zebra Crossing

The idea behind this seems to be that you can cross the road wherever you feel like it. Just lay this roll of stripes down and you’re good to go. However pedestrian crossings are painted out in certain places for certain reasons. Usually when we’re faced with a road that doesn’t have any way for pedestrians to easily cross it’s because it’s an extremely busy area and it would be too dangerous for pedestrians to get across it.

At first the portable zebra crossing might sound like a fun idea, but the reality is far from it. If people were actually to use this whenever they felt like it can you imagine the amount of terrible accidents that would start occurring? Also why would anyone want to carry that massive roll around all day?

4. Hairy Leg Stockings

These are just downright weird in every way. The idea behind these stockings was to make them as a kind of anti-perv tool. Picture this scenario: It’s a nice day so you’ve decided to put on a skirt or a dress which shows off your legs and lets them soak up the sun and you have to use public transport to get you where you are going. However you’re worried you’re going to feel uncomfortable for the entire trip because people might stare at your legs. How do you solve this? Whack on a pair of these stockings which make it look like you haven’t shaved your legs in the past three years. Of course you ought to keep in mind that they won’t solve the problem of people staring at your legs, but you can rest assured that they’ll only be wondering why you’d ever think to wear these.

5. The Ab Enhancer

ab enhancer
Somalinet

This is one for the ridiculous history books. The idea is that you strap this grill to your body and sit with it on for a while. When you take it off you’ll find that miraculously you have obtained a six pack of perfectly sculpted abs. However that’s not because this contraption has somehow brought your hiding muscles to the surface, it’s because you’ve been squeezing your body fat through the gaps in this grill and all you’ve actually been left with is an imprint. Check back half an hour later and you’ll probably discover that your perfect six-pack has disappeared. This invention supposedly only takes seconds to work so we’re worried about how tight this thing is and if it’s really safe. The ad also says it’s lightweight and that you can wear it under clothing, so apparently it’s safe to wear when walking around in public. However, if you think about it, when people start noticing that weird shape under your clothing they might get the wrong impression. You might find this especially problematic if that person is a security guard at your local shopping mall.

6. Diet Water

The name says it all. If you’ve just been drinking water straight from the tap you’re doing it wrong. If you’ve been investing in those filtered pure waters that they say come straight from the flowing springs you’re still doing it wrong. If you really want to be drinking the best for your body then obviously this is it.

7. Handerpants

If wearing gloves or mittens just isn’t your thing, but you are a clean freak, then this might be for you.  You guessed it, these are basically underwear for your hands. There’s no longer any need to waste precious time washing your hands every 5 seconds, stock up on these and germs will never come close again.

8. Digital Dice

This is one of those inventions that are supposed to be upgrades of their original version. This particular idea involves LED dice with screens that show you the numbers on each side. You probably already own a board game with a normal dice but why stick to that old boring thing when you could have a digital one. You only have to make sure it has enough power every time you want to play or you run the risk of it dying on you partway through a game.

See Also: 6 Amazing Inventions of 2015

Despite the fact that these inventions may be downright duds, they just prove what a genius thing the human brain is. What other pointless inventions have you seen? Do you have a crazy invention idea of your own?

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