WORK-LIFE BALANCE / APR. 01, 2015
version 5, draft 5

Adult Preschool Is Pretty Creepy

If you didn’t think the title was creepy enough let me lay this on you, the person that organizes ‘adult preschool’ actually does so out of an extra room in her house. I don’t care how freaking innocent the activities they engage in are; that just sounds like a tickle dungeon to me. Let’s go to adult preschool and take in all its glorious creepiness.

What the heck is it?

Side Note: The kid above in the middle seems like he is questioning his entire existance. It’s actually quite straightforward; you do everything you would do at preschool but as an adult. That means finger-painting, arts and crafts, coloring with crayons, playing with play-do, snack and nap time. The thing is that you’re doing it with 10 other complete strangers. Yeah, see unlike childhood where you walk up next to someone and say: ‘I like blue, let’s go stick Legos up our noses’ adult interaction is a bit more complex and sticking Legos up your nose or any other orifice is never socially appropriate.

See Also: Are Your Ideas Crazy Enough to Actually Work?

Not creepy

The students are called ‘Adult Boys and Girls.’ That automatically makes me think of Adults in diapers and pigtails sucking on giant pacifiers (on the other hand I’m a little more broken than your average human being so that might be the reason). Look if you take anything innocent and child-like and put it into an adult context you crank the creep-factor knob to 11. For example: Show and tell (wink, wink) nap time (wink, wink), make believe (wink, wink) snack time…well snack time is exciting regardless of age I guess.

Curriculum

I want you unblemished reader to remember that all of these things involve adults doing children’s activities, remember the theme we are going for here is creepy. Some of the activities are: lessons and play sheets (really? I want to do more work after work?) music time (which features a special rock star guest apparently), snack time (that you have to define thematically, which again sounds like more work), arts and crafts (with play-do, finger paint and glitter glue…yes glitter glue), and my favorite which is hilariously put as: share your material stories to uncover clues on your spiritual path i.e. ’show and tell’. When the hell did show and tell become about uncovering spiritual path related clues? I remember show and tell being: ‘This is my turtle Fred, he likes lettuce.’ while awkwardly swaying back and forth in front of a room full of your classmates. Oh you also get homework to help you get out of your ordinary routine.

So yeah, it’s a thing

So for a measly $333 to $999 you too can revert back to you childhood. A simpler time when you could barely go to the bathroom by yourself, stuffed things up your nose and thought that blue was a number! Let’s completely ignore the fact that the class is taught by a woman with bright pink hair and eyebrows and a lady who has her hair done up in a bow like a 50’s cartoon baby…credible looking bunch huh?

See Also: Perfect Jobs for a Psychopath

Would you pay almost a $1000 to do something you could easily do at home? Then let me know in the comment section below. Warning, crayon won’t work.

Get our FREE eBook!
'6 Steps to Landing Your Next Job'

LEAVE A COMMENT

0 comments

 

RELATED ARTICLES

Get our FREE eBook!
'6 Steps to Landing Your Next Job'


G up arrow
</script> </script>