Career Testing
Career Testing
Career Testing
WORK-LIFE BALANCE / MAR. 29, 2015
version 4, draft 4

Best Game of Thrones Shwag

We all know you can buy replica swords and armor of your favorite characters, you have your books, dvds and video games. All that stuff though is excruciatingly boring here is some really cool and unique G.o.T. merch you can gift yourself…I mean your friends with.

See Also: 3 Lessons Employers Can Learn From Game Of Thrones

Life Sized Iron Throne Replica

Why go through the process of murdering, poisoning and red wedding-ing all your political opponents to sit atop the iron throne when you can just buy it? At a price of $30.000 U.S. it actually might be cheaper to just go the Lannister route (of maiming, killing and buying your way to the throne).

Plush Pets to the G.o.T. stars

If you are a bad parent and your children are just as into G.o.T. as you are (even though they shouldn’t, I mean how can you expose your kids to all that violence and sexual content?), you can get them one of these terrifying animals from the series that have been cute-fied for children. Choose from the esophagus-tearing Starks’ Direwolves, Daenerys’ children burning Dragon, or even the nightmare fuel Three Eyed Raven! Just go ahead and reinforce your children’s initiation into violence and inappropriate family relations!

You Know nothing, because it’s on your USB stick

Yes, because if you’re going to fight your way to the throne you’ll want to keep any sensitive information on you at all times. These USBs that can easily be worn as pendants will keep your schemes secret until you die a horrible death. Choose from a Dragon Egg, the Stark Direwolf symbol or the Hand of the King. The great thing is that they are waterproof, slim and very fast. You will still know nothing though if you don’t have anything to store on them though.

The Iron Throne. Shoes.

If you want a pair of shoes that embody the show like a poorly fan-constructed John Snow costume (that consists of black pajamas, a black curtain and a hoodie with fur around the edge) then these shoes will be perfect for you. They look like stripper shoes with little cocktail swords stuck all over them and then sloppily painted with metallic paint.

Brienne of Tarth Lip Balm

Do you want to show your fandom even when performing the mundane task of moisturizing? Then take a look at this ‘rich and creamy Vanilla scent’ lip balm. It doesn’t come with a sword or a suit of armor but it will protect your lips from the ravaging effects of cold wind, since winter is coming.

Khaleesi Butt-Stamp Pants

Do you want to show your allegiance to the Dragon Mother? What better symbol of respect and admiration than having her name emblazoned on your ass? Get these yoga pants and binge watch all the seasons while eating dragon-egg shaped cake pops and gummy horse hearts. Good thing yoga pants are stretchy.

Poop is coming

Because everyone is sick and tired of winter, why not warn everyone about your baby’s poopage with this adorable onsie, with a pretty hilarious tag-line? Winter’s coming might just be hear-say but when it comes to babies some things are guaranteed.

Crows before…

This is another pun-y item of attire. Taking a page from the Book of the Night’s Watch, this bro-tastic sleeveless tee, declares the hierarchy regarding comrades of the order and females of ill repute. The thing is I really don’t think anyone abides by that rule, as we’ve already seen two very prominent ‘Crow Bros’ get their freak on with individuals of the opposite sex. I won’t mention names, but one knows nothing and the other likes killing White Walkers and then leaving the only thing that kills them like a dumbass. He’s also a little chubby.

See Also: Why it Would Suck to Work for the Night’s Watch from Game of Thrones

Are there any other awesome G.o.T. items that are worth putting a few bucks down for? Let me know in the comment section below.

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