HUMAN RESOURCES / DEC. 15, 2014
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Five Reasons to Ditch Hostility and Blame

The workplace is often associated with competition, which can lead to conflicting views, jealousy, or even hostility. Some individuals are affected more negatively by certain situations, in comparison to their colleagues. If you cannot let go of something that’s happened in the past, it can hinder your future.

There are a million and one reasons why you could potentially feel hostile or angry within the workplace. Perhaps you didn’t get the promotion you thought you deserved. You may not get along with one of your co-workers, which is creating hostility. Perhaps your boss wouldn’t let you have a requested day off, which has created hostile feelings.

Whatever the issue, it’s important to understand the effects that hostility and blame create. When you learn to let go, you can create a more productive, positive future. This is not only in terms of your career, but your health, and relationships as well.

Anger and Hostility Only Hurt You and Those Around You

Did you ask your boss for a pay increase, yet you never received it? This is a common area that creates hostility, as employees believe they’re worth more than they’re paid. Anger is generally an emotion that’s associated with a loss of control. When you cannot control important factors in your life (in this case, it’s money), then you can become frustrated and hostile, placing blame on others.

Becoming hostile and placing blame will not improve the situation. In fact, it generally makes coping even more challenging. Perhaps you were let go from your last place of employment; which is still eating you up inside. You blame your boss for not speaking to your sooner, as well as your sales partner. How will this hostility improve your life? Simply said, it won’t.

Although becoming angry can be destructive, being hostile is much worse. More times than not, hostility will hurt you and those around you. It’s often aimed towards unchangeable situations, which will not change in terms of their outcome. If acting this way seem natural, you should focus on more positive coping methods. It’s important that you do not carry anger, hostility, and blame around with you.

Fives Reasons to Ditch Feelings of Blame and Hostility

Besides the negative effects on your health and mental stability, there are many reasons to let go of blame and hostility within the workplace. The following five reasons will have you re-thinking your feelings of anger or blame.

1. Feelings of Hostility and Blame Can Create a Snowball Effect

If you’re constantly feeling hostile within your work environment, then this can easily create a snowball effect. Something may not be a big deal, yet it spirals out of control based on your negative thoughts, feelings, and actions. You cannot always control the thoughts that your mind processes, but you can choose how to react.

Perhaps your boss forgot to tell you that you did a good job on your last assignment. You may feel as though you deserved recognition, which is why you are full of hostility. These hostile feelings could create issues for you tomorrow, within a week, or even next month. When you carry these feelings of hostility around, they are released at inappropriate times. This snowball effect can cause many issues in the future.

2. Loss of Mental Energy

If you’re feeling hostile or thinking about blaming others, you can actually burnout. The energy that’s being wasted on these emotions can actually have a negative effect on your mental state. Emotional exhaustion can lead to burnout. Before someone burns out, they often have a more negative attitude towards themselves and others.

When you burnout, you increase your risk of depression. You also negatively affect your health. This is because stress and hostility are hard on your health, both physical and mental. Ask yourself, ’is it worth it?’ Letting go of an incident that happened two months ago, could improve your work environment, increase mental energy, while potentially improving your overall health.

3. Lowered Self-Esteem Due to Hostile Feelings and Blame

If you harbour feelings of blame and hostility, you could affect your own self-esteem. If you can’t let go, you may not only blame others, but yourself as well. Blame is often associated with guilt and shame, which can have direct negative effects on one’s self-esteem.

Feelings of shame are often unconscious, which is why they’re not always dealt with in the healthiest manner. If you felt rejected at work, perhaps you’re carrying this around with you. Was your idea rejected, so now you’re associating your ideas with failure? This is a very harmful way to look at rejection. You need to stop blaming yourself, figuring out where you can improve.

Just because you weren’t chosen for the last promotion, doesn’t reflect your self-worth. Do not blame yourself or others. You should use these instances as a motivator, improving and working that much harder. You need to be confident in your ability, as it will help you thrive within your work environment. If you cannot let go of the blame and hostility, you will only hinder your progress.

4. Decreases Productivity

If you’re focused on hostile feelings, what are you not focused on? That’s right, your work. If there was an instance that made you upset, it’s important to deal with it there and then. You could be holding onto feelings of hostility towards a co-worker, when they may not even remember the incident you’re upset about. If you’re still fixated on an incident, you’re not fully focused on your work.

What happens if your hostility and blame is targeted at your boss? You can imagine how this will affect your productivity, especially if your boss asks you to do something extra. Just because you didn’t get a promotion, doesn’t mean that your boss doesn’t value you. If you’re upset, speak with your boss directly.

Don’t go into their office placing blame. Instead, simply ask why you were not selected. Ask if there’s areas where you can improve. It’s important to get feedback, allowing you to make changes. When you know where you need to improve, you can stay focused on that area. This will motivate you, increasing productivity.

5. Encourages Poor Coping Strategies

Throughout life, you will endure various problems. You may get a speeding ticket on the way to work, then you spill coffee on yourself at lunch, then you forget your mobile phone at work. If you are always blaming others, you will not only hinder relationships, but you will create poor coping strategies.

You may say it’s your wife’s fault that you got a ticket, because she forgot to set an alarm, which made you rush. See where the issue is? Yes, your wife may have forgot to set an alarm, but she is not responsible for you going over the speed limit. It’s important that you learn to take responsibility for your actions.

Self-justification can distort reality and negatively affect your future. The more excuses you make for yourself, the more you rely on self-justification. Are you feeling hostile towards your boss because they yelled at you after you missed two days at work? Even if you had a legitimate reason, maybe your boss sees it another way.

If you’re focused on blaming your boss, you may not see that they’re passionate about your future. They want you to succeed. You could destroy a positive mentor relationship, over one incident that you could have easily let go.

At the end of the day, if you don’t speak up and you hold in your feelings, the only person that will suffer is you. Holding in feelings of hostility, anger, and blame will not create positive outcomes. It’s important to learn positive coping strategies so that you can handle stressful situations appropriately. Protect your health, your career, and your future; let go of blame and hostility.

 

Image: iStock

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