Casual Friday can be great if you have to wear a suit at work. It can also be horrid if you don't know what to wear! Fear not, this is what to wear !
So you just started working. You've got the professional attire down, your closet is full of sensible pants suits. One day though you show up and the office is a sea of khaki pants and polo shirts (and some questionable combined prints).
In terror you come to the realization that your office has “Casual Fridays” and although you dodged the bullet today…next Friday will be a different story…so this is what to wear on casual Friday.
See Also: 4 Items You Should Never Wear at Work
1. Not Really Casual
So most of your other shirts are douche bag slingshot shirts with the giant arm holes. Don’t wear that, because it breaks cardinal rule number one “Do not show too much skin”. No matter what your race, creed or preference too much skin will be frowned upon and make your co-workers uncomfortable.
Avoid anything that is “deep cut”, “low slung” or “High cut”. If you are wearing anything that makes an appearance in the video above go right away and change…especially if you are wearing anything even remotely reminiscent of Travolta’s crotch crushing short-shorts.
2. Too Much Skin Pt. Deux
Not only do you have to worry about showing too much skin while sitting around doing nothing, but you also have to worry about showing too much skin while moving around. Let’s go back to Travolta’s crotch prison shorty shorts…that type of attire has the potential to release a gonad (or two, they are really, really snug). Wear something that is casual but that won’t reveal anything if you sneeze too hard.
Also just like above, make sure that if you bend over, reach up or breath you won’t flash some scrote at poor unassuming Mark that sits across from you. I know this was very male-centric up to now, but the same holds true for the ladies. If you are wearing shorts so short that there is a danger of flashing your private parts, then avoid those fashion choices.
3. Political Views
So you are going safe with the good old t-shirt and jeans. First, make sure your jeans don’t look like they belong to an 80s rock star. Also, make sure that your t-shirt doesn’t have anything that can be considered incendiary, including political slogans, insensitive comments or even messages promoting meat-eating lifestyles…yes, even that, wouldn't want to offend and alpha-alpha munching, tree hugging vegan now would you? Beyond that you might want to avoid t-shirts that are transparent or have nipple windows…those are windows…for your nipples, it’s pretty self-explanatory.
I know that it’s called casual Friday, but casual has a very different meaning in the corporate world, compared to the real world. In the real world, your un-pedicured nasty feet aren’t that offensive. In the business world, you might as well be walking around with your member out than wearing flip-flops.
For some reason, bare feet in the corporate world are extremely unprofessional, why? I have absolutely no idea, just don’t show your toes. Which is even weirder when you consider peep toe shoes are completely fine. A little bit of toe is ok…all of the toe is offensive….OH! is it like breasts? Is that accurate?
5. Head Gear
I hear you like to wear douchey fedoras…not only are douchey fedoras not appropriate anywhere and should be outlawed, but they are also especially inappropriate on Causal Friday. If you want to show pizazz maybe wear a sequined tuxedo…which is still less offensive than a douchey fedora! Actually, any type of hat or headgear should be avoided; this is another rule that sounds a bit perplexing but, again there are different rules in the corporate world than the real world.
Are there any other things that you should avoid wearing on casual Friday? Let us know in the comment section below.