Career Testing
Career Testing
Career Testing
WORKPLACE / OCT. 31, 2015
version 6, draft 6

Most Gruesome Workplace Murders

So, we are about to dive into some pretty sensitive material… please don’t consider this an attempt to mock the tragic loss of innocent people that were just at the wrong place at the wrong time. This article is going to be undeniably graphic, so if you have an easily turned stomach, you might want to turn your attention to a different article, because these are some pretty messed up, horrifying workplace murders.

See Also: The Worst Places to Work (If You’re Afraid of Ghosts)

1. Medusa Man

Okay, not exactly a gruesome murder, but when you dedicate your life’s work to f*cked up shit like this, you deserve the top spot on every list that has the word “gruesome” in its title.

Girolamo Segato was an Italian polymath that had a specific perversion for anatomy. I say perversion and not propensity purposefully (I believe that covers my quota for “p” words – we have weird protocols here at CareerAddict), and it will become stomach turning-ly obvious in just a moment.

Allow me to deviate for a little: Florence, where Segato lived towards the end of his life, is home to many lifelike marble statues executed by the most talented of Renaissance artists. It is also home to actual lifelike statues, as Segato managed to petrify human remains inspired by his time researching mummification in Egypt.

The Anatomy Museum at the University of Florence – in Florence, obviously – houses some of Segato’s artifacts, including a gruesome wooden table inlayed with tiles of petrified guts, muscles, and bones. Other curios include a severed (and petrified – that’s the theme here, try to keep up) female head and chest (yes, stone boobies… as if you weren’t already confused enough with the weird shit that turns you on).

Shortly before his mysterious death at the age of 44, Segato destroyed all of his notes and most of his “specimens”, so the process he followed to achieve his results remain a mystery to this day. As in any appropriately creepy narrative, you have to see it to believe it, so here’s the University of Florence’s webpage dedicated to this sick f*ck. Enjoy.

2. The Murdering Midwife

Although a relatively archaic profession, a midwife until recently would help women with birth and pregnancy, and before that were practically experience-trained doctors. The difference is that doctors take the Hippocratic Oath which explicitly says, “Nor shall any man’s entreaty prevail upon me to administer poison to anyone…” Hopefully, you see where I’m going with this.

During World War I, the less glamorous of the horrifying bloody wars of our epoch, a certain Mrs. Júlia Fazekas rolled into an unassuming Hungarian town called Nagyrév. Unassuming but not innocent, I should say, since the local women were hard-boinking POWs in lieu of their husbands who ran off to die horrific deaths in trenches and what not. Fazekas and her accomplice, Susi Oláh, intially helped the women with abortions (because how can a woman get pregnant when her husband is at war? Yeah Helga… you’re not fooling anyone) and other general medical needs. But the war ended as wars tend to do (thankfully), to the chagrin of the POW-porking wives who now wouldn’t be able to proficiently and at will pork said POWs – but worry not, because Fazekas was there to help!

She taught the women of the village to boil off the arsenic from flypaper and use it to kill their returning husbands… I guess the itch went beyond getting some foreigner strange though, because some women started offing anyone who got on their nerves – in two cases, one woman killed her husband, lover, and 23-year-old son, and another offed seven members of her family. The estimated 50 poisoners became so infamous they gained the moniker, the Angel Makers of Nagyrév, and the village came to be known as the “Murder District”.

Hopefully, this will stand as a lesson to Hungarian men returning from war, with wives living next to a POW camp (complete with an evil, murdering midwife ringleader) and plenty of arsenic-laced flypaper at their disposal… DON’T GO HOME!

3. Soldiers

I know, I know… I’m not some sort of new age, uber-liberal, patchouli-wearing hipster… I’m of the scotch and bicycle type of hipster. Granted, most people will be conscripted to the military during large-scale conflicts, but in all technicality, it’s still a job and although it doesn’t pay much, it still pays.

Sso you want to talk about gruesome murders? Too bad! I’m going to talk about something even more f*cked up. War is probably the epitome of a dehumanizing event someone can experience: wives, husbands, and children become enemies, a vilified personification of programming and propaganda. No action further reinforces this than testimonies of “trophy taking”, and no, I’m not talking about golden chalices with misshapen little dudes doing weird poses at their peak. I’m talking about human trophies.

Archeologists have found mass Neolithic graves full of a family’s worth of human remains… that were eaten raw. The scientists found through DNA analysis that the bones were those of a “foreign” (to the locality) Neanderthal tribe or gang, but what does that have to do with work? Nothing, I’m just trying to illustrate the point that this type of behavior goes back to the time when humans were barely human to begin with.

During WWII, soldiers, desensitized to the horrors of war, would take heads, ears, and other body parts as trophies of their kills… and that wasn’t even the Nazis. Oh no, Nazis would get off on the messed-up things they would do to their prisoners, and if there is one that deserves to be mentioned here by name, it’s the Hyena of Auschwitz… oops! That’s her nickname… I mean, Irma Grese:

4. The 16-Year-Old Sadist

Irma Grese volunteered for the Nazi Party when she was just 16 years old. Initially, she did menial jobs answering phones and sorting mail at the first concentration camp she was stationed at in Ravensbrück. She eventually volunteered for the SS and was made a “helper”. Here, she found that sexual pleasure and the pain of her prisoners went hand-in-hand.

In one case (that I wasn’t able to cross-reference but let’s just go with it since it’s almost Halloween, and this will definitely keep you up at night), a Jewish woman had an infected open wound on her breasts as a result of a whipping. The doctor operated on the poor woman – in a very sensitive area of the female anatomy – with no anesthesia and with only a partially sharpened paring knife. Irma happened into the “operating room” (see: butcher shop) and sat in the corner, rhythmically rocking in the chair, slowly getting off (see: masturbating) on the visual of blood, pus, and gut-retching screams of agony.

It is further said that she inflicted similar wounds on other inmates and demanded they be treated without anesthesia also. Only this time she was said to actually climax so intensely that she would collapse in the same chair, drooling.

See Also: Top 5 Creepy Workplace Stories

Hopefully, that has got you all covered, you sick weirdo… I’m going to go wash myself with six loofas. If you really have to, you can leave a comment below. Happy Halloween!

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