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CELEBRITIES / DEC. 08, 2015
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People That Shamelessly Capitalized on Their Sex Appeal

Celebritarts, celebrihoes and I’m out of witty (or labored) Sotiris-isms, but I’m basically going to talk about people that are famous for being easy on the eyes and pretty much nothing else. I’m pretty sure I’m going to be attacked for my opinions, well so be it; the internet has a great fascination with shooting the messenger. These are some of the people that have shamelessly capitalized on their sex appeal.

See Also: People that Grossly Capitalized on Religion

(No) Staying Power

You probably don’t remember Tila Tequilla, and for good reason, because from the moment she decided to become a TV personality and host, she thought sex and controversy would elevate her to the A list. Actually lets rewind, even before she became a TV personality she posed nude for Playboy, Maxim and Stuff. I will not be including links, but I will be Googling her spreads for…ehm research reasons. From there she thought having a bisexual reality dating show would help here become famous…which worked for a little while, but her star fizzled out yet again.

After making two albums that would be admirable at a karaoke bar, but super-sub-par for a full album EP she finally wrapped up her media whoring by making the go to for any celebritart: the sex tape, which is never intentional and always “leaked”. Oh, sorry I forgot to mention that the video above was made during her tenure as a contestant on UK Big Brother, which she was kick off of because she was the most contrived, fake Nazi supporter ever. “Hey media look at me, I totally love Hitler and this in no way shape or form an attempt at shocking people into being interested in me…hey, why aren’t people interested in me?”

Your Stay Will Be Memorable

Although, she could have been memorable for a million other, much more noble things like female entrepreneurship, philanthropy or even being the heiress one of the largest hotel chains in the world, Paris Hilton became famous for One Night In Paris. If you are unfamiliar with this skinamatic gem check out the less-than-NSFW wiki page.

Arguably the person that started the “I’m not famous yet…oh look at that I’m soooo ashamed of my “leaked” sex tape” craze, Paris has hitched her cart to the sexy pony, and never looked back (well…ok I’ll leave it at that). Later on, she dipped her toes into reality TV by “acting” like a ditzy, clueless rich kid and then tried her hand at DJing and overly auto-tuned singing. I think she should’ve stuck with her version of night-vision-vampire-eyed celebrity-porn…I mean sexy.

The New Gen

So, technology changes and evolves. One of the ways it has become the visual culture juggernaut we see today is by selling sex hard…or making teenagers hard, potato, potáto. The newest pseudo-celebrities to grace humanities million screens are Instagram models, models of Instagram or Instagram girls, call it what you will, what they are is a group of extremely attractive people that pose in various PG-13 levels of undress and get paid to do so. “Comedian” Jenna Marbles, the shameless, attention whore, fat shamer is part of their ranks as her Instagram feed is more Playboy than Saturday Night Live. Bless her though she tries really, really…really hard to be funny.

See Also: The Super Sexy and Super Brainy

Did I miss anyone? Let me know in the comment section below and keep this shame train going.

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