CHOOSING A CAREER / FEB. 14, 2015
version 8, draft 8

Sex Sells: How to be a Millionaire Cam Girl

sex
istock

I really don’t need to clarify this do I? Statistically, almost every person on the planet has the necessary ‘accoutrements’ for sex on their person at every single moment of the day. That is a hell of a target market. Those ‘accoutrements’ usually need their opposite equivalent for reproduction, but most people are quite content diddling their own do-hickie. This is where our conversation goes a little south, how south you ask? Keep going, keep going, a little bit further, if you’re currently pointing at your crotch, that’s how South. You can make millions, yes six zero, three comma, figures with what you’re pointing at right now. You can stop pointing at it now; it’s getting a little weird.

Showing Your Hoohah can Make you Some Moolah

Oh God, I apologize for that, but when touching on a topic about self-touching these innuendos are unavoidable to not touch upon. Masturbation. There. It’s out of my system we can move along. Cam girls are a recent addition to the sex industry, and they can be massively profitable. Basically, you conduct a peep show via webcam, at various levels of disrobement, sexual activity and people pay to watch it. Widely watched models can rake in 50.000 to 60.000 dollars a year with their rack (wah wah). The more you show, the more you make. Yes, some models can even make that cool mil (do they have something to show that I don’t? No seriously I’m asking, I skipped sex ed in elementary school. Hello? Is anyone going to tell me?).

How to Make it

I have trundled through hundreds of websites (exclusively for the sake of this article mind you) and one thing that pops up...I mean comes up…I mean springs up again and again (boing!). God damn it! Oh, never mind. Much like marketing yourself in any industry, you need not only to offer what people want, but you also need to be distinguishable. An interesting article by Veronica Chaos on the comedy website Cracked.com mentions finding a niche. If I tell you her’s will you promise not to scream in terror? Puppet porn. Any iteration of that is terrifying, but you’d think the most innocuous of puppets would be the felt Muppet-like ones. Nope! Guess again! Because Ms. Chaos uses the most nightmarish: marionette puppets. With female sexual aids (see dildos) strapped to them. Yes, these puppets that have been featured in horror-film after horror-film because they look terrifying actually turn people on, when they are getting it on with a girl. [shudder] But hey it’s a niche, a dark, hideous niche.

What it Involves

Like I said in the first segment of this article, you’re pretty much your own boss. If you don’t count the throngs of horny dudes that are telling you what to do. Yes while they masturbate to your virtual nakedness illuminated romantically by the blue light of their shaking laptop screen, these ‘gentlemen’ (and I use the term so loosely it could literally mean ‘cowpie’) will tip you. YEAH!!! Right? Think again, tip means that you have now given them the right to tell you what to do. I mean you could not do it, sure, but eventually you won’t be making any tips at all. I’ve been trying to avoid pointing this out, but seeing as I’m pretty much at the end of the article here it is: the most successful models masturbate themselves too, live. The internet is basically a global circle-jerk that uses millions and millions of dollars’ worth of technology to get their jollies off.

See also: The Professional Benefits of SEX

Are you a Cam Girl? How do you feel about the profession? Let us know in the comment section below.

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