WORK-LIFE BALANCE / APR. 29, 2014
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Signs That You're Jealous of Your Spouse's Career

Since married couples are on the same team, there's no need to become envious or jealous of each other's success. As one person moves up the corporate ladder, this often translates into more income for the household. And with more cash, there's disposable income for paying off debt, saving for retirement or taking a vacation. 

Unfortunately, celebrating a spouse's success doesn't come easy for everyone. The truth is, some people are only happy when they're able to advance at the same level. They want to remain on the same playing field with their husband or wife; and if they feel that the other is moving faster, it might trigger resentfulness and jealousy. 

This isn't something that people readily admit, and you might convince yourself that you're not jealous. However, your actions may say otherwise.

Here are three tell-tale signs that you might be jealous of your spouse's career.

#1 You're not Interested in his or her day

When your spouse comes home eager to discuss his or her day, do you happily listen, or do you look for any excuse to change the subject or shorten the discussion? This behavior may also indicate that you're tired or simply not interested in talking about work at the present moment. However, if you never want to hear anything related to your spouse's job because it's a reminder of his or her success, jealousy might be rearing its ugly head. 

#2 You're Trying to Hold Your Spouse Back

If your spouse considers taking courses or getting an advanced degree to move up the corporate ladder, do you encourage or discourage? The fact that you discourage may not necessarily mean that you're jealous. Maybe you wholeheartedly feel that career advancement would be too much for your spouse to handle, both physically or mentally. Or maybe you feel that moving up the ladder would rob the family of precious quality time. These are justifiable reasons to discourage some career moves. However, you might be jealous if your motives are purely selfish, and you don't want your spouse to advance for fear that his or her job will outshine your work.

#3 You Constantly Speak Negatively About Your Spouse's job

If your spouse's job demands all of his or her time, and there's little room in the schedule for family, it's normal to feel resentful or slighted. On the other hand, if your spouse gives the family a lot of time and attention, yet you still complain and look for any excuse to speak negatively about his choice of employment, maybe the problem isn't the job, but you. If your spouse is moving up, and you're staying in the same place, frustration and jealousy might bring out your petty side. You might nit pick, start fights or exaggerate minor issues. 

What You Can Do?

If you're jealous, put your embarrassment aside and have a candid discussion with your spouse. Getting your feelings out in the open can help you overcome these emotions, and get to the root of jealousy. For example, maybe you're jealous because you feel stuck in your career; or as a man, maybe you want to be the main provider for your family. Although you can't change your situation today, an honest look at your emotions keeps the lines of communication open, and it can motivate you to improve yourself. 

Have you ever felt jealous of your spouse's success? How did you cope with these feelings?

 

Image Credit [Flickr]

 

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