HUMAN RESOURCES / DEC. 04, 2014
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So I Hear Your Boss Doesn't Like You. 5 Horror Stories From The Workplace

These horror stories don’t involve hockey masked killers and bloodied kitchen knives. They involve disgruntled employees, bad managers and terrifying health code violations. Prepare your stomach for these festering gooey messes that are workplace horror stories.

That color brings out your eyes, and your herpes

Cosmetics testers have always boggled my mind. Recklessly unhygienic and as communal as a bus station’s bathroom (and not much cleaner), cosmetics testers are openly displayed for use, by any one that might happen to wander into the store. Our protagonist and anti-viral campaigner noticed a lady with some suspicious blemishes (see herpes) using the tester lipsticks. As any non-sociopathic person would, she ran to her manager informing him, but her slightly sociopathic boss told her to “just wipe it off”. Yeah, wiping it off doesn’t disinfect, and knowing this our hero followed the offending petri-dish of a customer around throwing away any lipstick she used. Of course, the infectious patron was offended, complained and got our anti-viral champion sacked. Real horror stays with you.

Creative control

Recently graduated and ready to make a mark on the world, our young employee got a job as a music critic. With many of his articles published, you’d think our ‘note-worthy’ journalist would be as pleased as a pea in a pod. Unfortunately, they were published under his editor’s name. Then the deranged fellow (see supervisor) chastised our ‘all-too-new’ writer for not submitting enough critiques of the musical kind.

High School all over again

High school is a difficult period for most. A time for wedgies, getting belittled and mocked on a daily basis. Usually when people leave high school they never expect to be treated like that again. Our friend, though, found out the hard way when his boss not only mocked him for having a problem with gas, she also spread the rumor around the office. When our allegedly gaseous-friend gained weight, she derided him for that too. The cherry on top of this Mean-Girl sundae? She spread the rumor that he was also a gay misogynist (which he was not either).

The Boss in sheep’s clothing

Horror takes many forms: from the jump-scare (think a cat jumping out from behind a bush), to the slow steady build up, to the unassuming killer next door. This boss was liked by everyone he met and by no one that actually knew him. A seemingly nice guy, Mr. Not-so-nice was evasive, manipulative and a liar. So what you say, but, when you’re the one fixing your boss’s faux pas it can real old, real quick. Worst of all? No one would believe these piece-picking employees.

A little too handsy, but with feet

This very personable boss had the luxury of a company plane. You know the ones, with fancy leather seats that face each other. The poor boss-lady must have had a circulation problem, as when her feet got cold she would shove them under the derrière of the person across from her. I wonder if the air-crew ever served toasty buns and then snickered in the cock-pit.

Slick Nicky

In most office environments a certain level of personal maintenance is required. Shaving, ironed shirts, slacks or skirts are not mandatory, but, are part of the office culture. In this office, the manager’s prerogative was to go completely hairless. That’s fine and a personal preference, if you keep it personal of course. Because no-follicles Fran would apply a special (and not very aromatic) cream all over herself in the bathroom in plain sight. Let’s just say if your timing was off, you would see exactly how well the electrolysis was going.

The Vegan Incident

In the office you will find a diverse microcosm of lifestyles, beliefs and ideologies. It doesn’t mean you have to like it though. Every time this clean-living employee went to work looking sick or tired, her manager would blame it on her vegan lifestyle. Then she would inform her veggie-eating employee how much she disagreed with the lifestyle for about an hour or two.

Have you had an irrational, abusive or just plain crazy boss? We would love to hear your stories. Let us know in the comment section below!

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