WORKPLACE / DEC. 21, 2014
version 5, draft 5

Spandex and Hairspray: 80's Songs To Get You Motivated Before Work

Sometimes we need a little get up and go to start our day. Coffee just won’t cut it when Monday catches you unprepared and a little hung over. Strap on your sweat-band and florescent ray-bans ‘cause your about to rock out like its 1984.

Eye of the Tiger

This is every gym rat’s anthem. If you have ever boxed, kick boxed, tai bo-ed or body combated you know every lyric to this song. Why is it so widely known? Because from the moment you hear that intro, it pumps you up so much that you want to rip the sleeves off your t-shirt, run to you closest supermarket and start punching pork chops. 

Highway to the Danger Zone

Mirrored aviators, Air Force jumpsuits and slow-motion walking down run-ways flanked by military jets. Last time so many kids wanted to enlist a certain genocidal goofily moustachioed fellow was taking over Europe. This song though comes in with a soft intro and then blasts you with the Gail wind force of 10.000 combined hair-spray cans.

Push it to the limit

So back in the era of the uber-colorful, excessiveness of the early 80s (1983 for the cine-philes out there) a movie named Scarface was released. It featured three staples of the 80s lifestyle: quickly gained wealth, lavish lifestyles and cocaine. Although most people took it for a rags to riches tale (with hearty doses of murder) it was director’s Brian De Palma’s attempt to depict the violent world of drug trafficking. Musical equivalent of the drug being sold in the movie didn’t help the director’s case though.

The Final Countdown

This is a song that makes you want to grab every deadline you have flip it around and pile-drive it into the ground (the pile-driver is a wrestling move where a muscle-bound wrestler flips around another wrestler, puts his head between his legs and slams him into the floor). The epicness of this song could not be contained by any other era. The pure bombastic nature of it would scorch the surface of the earth if it wasn’t deflected by so many huge hair-spray cement hair-dos.

We Will Rock You

Queen. Really, I wouldn’t have to say anything more than that to convey its greatness but since I get paid to write, I feel a slight obligation to elaborate (the obligation I feel is an avoidance of a pink slip). Granted this was released in the very late seventies but it was such a grand-scale anthem that it resonates all the way to today. With the equivalent of a lyrical machine gun in the intro and its almost tribal chorus it will get you pumping your fists high in the air. That’s why you should avoid listening to it while driving, cycling or riding your scooter.

Beat it

Maybe not the most uplifting, chest popping song on the list, but the man that defined the 80s definitely deserves a spot on the list. It could also be considered a great song to lose teeth to (as in fight) until you see the video chalked full of gang members. Maybe I should add here: 80s gang members look about as intimidating as Justin Beiber in a pink tutu to our post Gangsta Rap era eyes. They also do coordinated dance fights because that’s exactly what violent street gangs do when they see rivals. “You’ve come to the wrong hood man!” [Pirouette, Pirouette, shoulder shimmy, shoulder shimmy, leap].

Is there a song that rocks you into productivity that I didn’t mention? What gets you up and going in the morning (besides thirteen cups of coffee and a red bull). Let me know in the comment section below.

 

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