WORK-LIFE BALANCE / JUL. 20, 2014
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TAO of BADASS: Can You Use This New Media Sensation at Work? (PART 3)

Welcome to the final installment of TAO of BADASS, where we will identify - how to never get cheated on, kissing techniques and how to get a phone number. Click here to read Part 1 and Part 2!

How to never get cheated on

Being cheating on only happens when one person in the relationship feels that their partner isn’t supplying something they need.

Should you be in a relationship with a girl from work, you may want to consider a system to protect yourself. What most men do not understand is that relationships do not remain static, they are changing and growing.

Remember if a woman cheats on you she is not getting what she needs, and the common male lacks this awareness.

So be the best option.

Why would a woman cheat on you if you are the best option? First you need to understand what a woman wants.

The next section will identify 5 rules that can be applied to make sure the relationship flourishes in the right way, while also dedicating your life to the Three Pillars of Badass.

Five rules for long standing relationships

Number One: Familiarity. The theory implies that spending time with someone over and over again builds a soulful rapport, a connectivity as well as a continuity. Spend time together as much as possible.

Number Two: Propinquity. This literally is a social proximity, when groups are formed much like your team of colleagues, humans by nature automatically adopt roles. Ensure you become the right member using the gender role we touched on earlier.

Number Three: Chemical Attraction. This is not directly linked to pheromones. The first form of attraction is sight; the second form of attraction is smell. Something known as an "olfactory sense" can pick things up in people, working out in the gym and using protein to increase testosterone can generate an instinctive chemical which bypasses the logical part of the brain. Actually, perfumes are capable of doing this in a similar fashion, always remember the second form of attraction.

Number Four: Reinforcement. Reinforcement is the idea that someone can become more attractive to you, every time you’re with them or speak with them. Reinforce your continuity, keeping in mind that you should always present something new to learn from, exciting prospects should lie ahead when thinking about spending time with you later.

Number Five: Similarity. Humans are attracted to other people who have the same insecurities - which is considered to be the definition of relationship psychology. If she jumps from her desk because of a spider, relate to her fear with your own fear of heights. And explain that you have no problem catching the spider and taking it outside, bringing her fear to a comfort within you.

Three pillars of badass

  • Business: This says quite a lot about your ability to be a provider, important in the male gender role throughout history. Successful people are normally in a position of power which can be perceived as sexy.
  • Fitness: Martial arts and sports, or survival skills and handyman traits can and will help solidify your male gender role in the relationship. Art and poetry can also play key roles here in skill traits.
  • Relationship Psychology: The ability to attract other people into your life brings you into a position of social popularity, which also influences attraction. Remember the fish theory from Part 1?

How to get the first kiss

In the instance that she has agreed to go out with you to a bar, or maybe for a coffee, or possibly just a walk in the park, it’s now the two of you away from work in a private setting, and you’ll probably want to kiss her. To get this done, we have some steps for you to follow, throughout each of these tips, one factor remains applicable to all; be aware of her body language and control your own desires. You should know when the time is right, unsuspecting kisses can be the epitome of romance as they arrive without warning. Study her body language and remember these steps:

1. Man up. A behavioural study of young boys looking for a kiss from a girl shows them avoiding eye contact and looking down as they shuffle their feet before going in for the attempt. A man knows he wants her, he knows to read the signs that she wants him, and takes the kiss mutually when the time is right. Playing the shy card is ok, although in general a woman normally does not want someone who is too timid and unsure of what he wants. You passed this stage already... remember Attraction -> Rapport -> Seduction... she should now feel comfortable in your advancement.

2. Watch her eyes. A sure sign that she is thinking about the kiss is if she is glancing from your eyes to your lips, a woman’s desire to kiss is shown physically, this is visible externally, even when displaying the body language as difficult to obtain, hard to reach, if conscious about the kiss at any point, she will look to your lips. You can take control and entice an answer by stopping you both in your tracks, to look at something, to point at something in the trees, softly apply the “touch gap” procedure as you both stop and in an intimate closed proximity which you are using to find your answer from her body language.

3. Hold her hand: Kissing is a very intimate form of touch, holding hands is the next step down and the perfect technique to ease in that first point of contact. BEFORE kissing, ensure you have set the scene using “touch gap” during conversation or flirtation. Try not to make the same mistake as men do and skip the stages of trust, gain her comfort. You don’t need to do anything special when you hold her hand, just be there in the moment with her when you do. Should you already have covered an insecurity or fear such as the spider, tell her if she sees another spider - that she can hold your hand again.

4. Start with a cheek kiss: Because you are now becoming a BADASS, you have applied a plan of action. If you haven’t, set the scene for when you do go in for the kiss, a great deal before that moment. You can do this at work. Yes. A birthday, promotion or anything to congratulate her with, ensure you step in for the kiss on the cheek. You will be different that the other colleagues, you have already established your “touch gap” skill as you hold your hand, you know to do this softly and to hold the kiss on her cheek for 2-3 seconds. This does not feel like a long time, if you really think about cheek kisses, they are never more than 1 or 2 seconds. Another tip here is to come up with something very funny and follow these steps; laugh… joke… say she’s so cute… laugh together aloud, friendly kiss on the check during the excitement of the joke… but then. You stop, remain in your position, remain nose to nose contemplating your “accident”. As your “accident” has placed you in a position to proceed with the more intimate mouth kiss. Another psychological underlying here is the cheek kiss is seen as a casual act of gentleness, thus commonly accepted as a gesture.

5. Whisper in her ear: A quiet whisper in her ear will tell her in a romantic way that you want to kiss her more intimately. It has been proven that nothing needs to actually be said at this point. By simply placing your mouth close to her ear softly, she will hear you quietly breathing; the intimacy is then amplified through her hearing senses affecting her brain. The ears and neck are considered to be sensitive pressure points of the female anatomy and can have the desired effect you seek, sending a message, without even saying anything at all. Before this happens, remember to read and gauge her body language - establish how her physique is asking you to communicate with hers.

The thing that stops most men from leaning in is the fear of rejection, the ideology that this will haunt them forever and blow it completely. For most women, though, this is not the case. Do not presume to know what she is actually thinking at that moment based solely on your rapport and her behavioural studies. If it’s too soon, you’ve simply ventured through your report stage too quickly. Remember you are showing your confidence at all times, and understand that a kiss is predominantly a very intimate action.

How to get a phone number

Our final installment in the trilogy of BADASS tips is probably the most crucial. Interactions such as this may not begin in your place of work, and if they do, you cannot stoop to finding her number through your internal work database, a friendly email to HR to request her number will also be very much frowned upon. Do not be “Mr Creepy”.

The answer to this is quite simple; get her to give you her phone number.

Firstly, it’s important to understand what you should not do. After talking to her at work and using the steps you’ve already learned, the next thing you want is her number. It is not good practice to ask her number outright without using the correct words, posture and body language. That’s all you need to remember. You need to memorise this because unless you are prepared in the way to ask, you are giving her an easy option to say “no”.

Let’s explore the relative thinking behind that concept.

There is a strong psychological backing to explain why the following strategy will work. The problem many men have, is asking for the number. As people we will essentially do whatever is easiest.

You should also think about things from her perspective, you may not know each other very well, she may not trust you or actually know anything about you other than where you sit and what department you’re in. Most men acquire the number when asking her to go on a date, which presents two large options. Many girls have also admitted that for them, they could risk this being a bad date (which is possible as she may not know you well yet), a waste of her time going with someone she doesn’t know, the whole things a flop and everyone at work hears about it... that time she gave her number to a guy that never stopped calling and texting… The easy option is to say no - to say no to the date - and to say no to giving you her number.

It has been proven there is an element of risk when a man approaches a woman for a date or phone number. And it’s easier to say “no”.

What you need to do is make it easier for her to say “yes”, than it is for her to say “no”.          

“Can I have your number?” Easy – “No”

“You should give me your number?” Easy – “No”

“Let me get your number so we can go out sometime” Easy – “No”

With so much immediate pressure, the obvious answer will be “no” as it’s the easiest response.

This is what you do.

Stage one: While speaking about anything or nothing, flirting and being playful. You take out your phone, and you hold it just in front of you looking down very briefly as you still maintain all other eye contact with her, keep the conversation going, still being playful and fun with the same previous stance and body language. The most crucial element is you will need to open your phone menu at this time, type in a password or what is necessary to prepare the device ready for her to type in her digits. Do not ask for the number, then fumble over your password because you’re secretly a nervous, the whole thing will flop. Put your hand down by your side, and relax like it is not there, take the attention away from the phone.

Stage two: When the conversation peaks again later as you speak, make sure it is still unlocked while you are talking, raise your phone and hand it to her. Do this slowly, do not force the phone and jab it at her, this will cause her to move back. Instead, move it slowly into her psychological space. Do not lean in, just hand her it naturally with a confident posture which makes you slightly lean back. This will trigger something called an “autopilot response”. This is a reaction, which happens when we are subjected to a specific action. At this point you have not said why this is happening. Because of the attraction and rapport stages you are in, together with your attitude and body language, she will take the phone because you are talking to her and having a normal conversation as you are doing this.

Stage three: what you will now say is “Why don’t you put your number in my phone?”

The strong psychological backing to this indicates that her “autopilot response” has already accepted the phone, and it would be easier to put the numbers in. Rather than think of a reason as to why not.

When she puts her number in your phone, call her, and if you have the opportunity say you will type in your name for her, and write your name followed by “super sexy wow amazing”, or something very silly and fun. When you text or call, she will associate you with a fun moment. After receiving the number, stay there and talk to her. Build more rapport, before leaving.

 

We hope you have enjoyed our BADASS trilogy aimed to help you get that girl at work! Following these steps can help men be more attractive - all said and done - this also helps people to be more confident which essentially is always a win win situation. 

If you missed out previous sections click on the following links to revisit Part 1 or Part 2.

Want to more? The sourced links below can take you further into the world of attraction, all written by Joshua Pellicer. 

Do you agree with the TAO or disagree? We’d love your feedback! 

 

Image Source: Bikini Popular

Related Source: TAO of BADASS Free Downloads

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