WORKPLACE / NOV. 17, 2014
version 4, draft 4

The Do's and Don'ts of the First Day According to Mike and Moe

The first day at a job can be a mentally taxing experience. You will be given a lot of new information, meet new people and go through a new set of rules and regulations. You will need to concentrate to take notes and be as professional as possible. It’s easy to slip up and make a mistake either in a social or professional context, but worry not, Mike and Moe will show you exactly what to do or not to do.

Attire: Better safe than sorry

Moe woke up in the morning, scrounged through the pile of clean clothes on his bed, and chose a t-shirt with an emblazoned “Keep calm and party on” logo etched across the front, a pair of ratty jeans and flip-flops. He hadn’t shaved for five days, but if anyone asked him he would tell them he’s trying to grow a hipster beard. He rolled into his first day of work looking like a Frat boy reject.   

Even from the interview Mike noticed what the people in the office were wearing, and on his first day wore a button-up shirt and tie. Although he noticed that almost none of his co-workers wore a tie, he didn’t feel like he was immensely over-dressed.

Office Culture: Gauge

Moe’s an impulsive kind of guy; he says and acts however he feels no matter what the situation. On his first day, as he walked by the CEO’s office, he turned nonchalantly, winked and gave him the double hand pistols. He sat down at his desk and proceeded to ask all his co-workers about their home-life; if they were dating and if they wanted to get a drink after work. Moe concluded his day with a grossly inappropriate joke that made the receptionist gasp in embarrassment.

After being introduced to his co-workers, Mike sat at his seat and started working. At lunch he spoke a little with his co-workers, gauging the office culture. He was always polite and didn’t use any profanity. They might think he’s boring, but, it’s better that way.

Asking specifics: Keep it to yourself

As his supervisor spoke to him, Moe hummed, whistled and yawned. After his training concluded, he asked about lunch, how long it was, how many days off he gets and how soon he could have a day off. He absolutely needed a day off to go to the premier of a new Superhero movie. At least he was honest.

Mike took detailed notes during the training section of his days, was polite and engaging. You could even say he was jovial with his supervisor. Once the training was complete, he continued his work and asked questions to clarify items he was unsure of that pertained to his responsibilities.

Second Day

Again, Mike wore a freshly pressed, button-up shirt, but, he didn’t wear the tie. He had noticed on his first day that almost no one wore a tie and he felt quite content that he played it safe yesterday.

Moe didn’t have a second day. Instead he stayed home, played video games and drank beer.

Are you a Mike or a Moe? Have you had a successful first day that led to a second day at a job? Or have you ever gotten canned on your very first day? If you have, please let us know in the comment section below.

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