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Time to Move On: When the Love has Gone

Jobs are similar to relationships. Often, the writing is on the wall long before you receive the redundancy meeting or the dumping text.   

Rather than find yourself in the panic situation of having to find another job or lover, take a look at the common early warning signs.  

If more than a few tell-tale signs apply to you, it might be time to move on from your current employer or beau.   
Change is going to happen, whether we are ready for it or not. It’s always best to prepare for where our future is leading us, rather than be unpleasantly surprised.   

Top Tell-Tale Signs   

  1. How long have you been with your employer? Love might be eternal but jobs certainly are not. Generation X,Y and Z face a ’portfolio’ career. This means that you could change jobs up to 9 times in your lifetime. You won’t be with one employer for your whole working life, so if you have been there for more years than you can remember, perhaps it’s time to look at other options.   
  2. You’ve stopped learning. In a new job, you can feel quite incompetent when the role is new. With a new partner, our interest is always piqued. After a few years, we can do the job standing on our head and guess what our partner is going to say. This is good, and bad. If you’ve stopped learning, you’ll get bored and you’ll be effectively ’de-skilling’ or de-loving. If you want to pursue a career interest or a partner for life, make sure you are always learning and have something new to bring to the work of personal relationship.   
  3. New people are being promoted above you or your partner is sharing the best things with his friends of family, rather than you. If the new person that joined last year is hurtling past you in terms of promotion whilst you are being overlooked, this is a big sign that you should look elsewhere. You certainly don’t want to sit put while younger and more junior staff are promoted above you. If your beau is saving all his most exciting events to share with others, that’s a big sign that you are not their number one priority.  
  4. Serious projects are given to other colleagues. Again, this is a clear sign that this employer is not committed to you. Your boss doesn’t see you as part of their future. If a partner doesn’t include you in big decisions, it’s because they don’t see you as part of the bigger picture.     
  5. You’re not introduced to key business people that are important to future business and projects (or, your partner does not introduce you to family and close friends). Personally and professionally, this is a sign that you are not in the long-term picture for this company, or this relationship. It won’t be a case of happy ever after, so best to move on now.  
  6. Have you gone as far as you can go? Can your role be further developed with this company? Can you relationship go anywhere else? Some businesses only offer limited opportunities, especially true for small employers or those that have a flat structure, such as a call centre. Despite loving your job now, will you love it after five years of doing the same thing every day, with only the same thing to look forward to in another five years? Some relationships can have a similar shelf-life.  
  7. Basic instinct. Do you have a sneaking feeling in your tum that you are selling yourself short and not fulfilling your potential? Your instinct can be a good judge of whether a partner or a job is right for you. You could be jogging along but secretly wondering if you could do better in terms of work and love. These aren’t the feelings you have when you are in the right job, or with the right partner.    
  8. Training and development. Are you getting any? Companies invest in people they value and want to keep. Partners spend money on lovers that they can see a potential future with. If you are not seeing the love in terms of development at work, go elsewhere where you and your talents will be valued.    
  9. Have you stopped trying? In a new job and in a new relationship we dress to impress our boss or lover. It’s natural to tone it down after a period of adjustment. However, if you are going to work or meeting your partner and can barely bring yourself to put a brush through your hair, then you know it’s time to go.    
  10. You don’t talk about what you are doing. When the job has gone stale, you don’t have any entertaining work tales. When you are no longer interested in the life that you share with your partner, you don’t talk about it anymore. This lack of interest doesn’t bode well, professionally or personally.     
  11. No pay rise or perks. Well, if they really wanted you, surely they would try and keep you? This is not necessarily true of small charities or businesses, they might struggle. However, an employer can easily show the love in other ways, such as, a new job title that will propel you in future, or training and development opportunities. A lover too, wanting to keep you in their life long term, would be investing time in you.  

If you are supporting a family, your salary can often be all the reward and fulfillment that you want or need. Working for your loved ones is very commendable, and is central to many working people’s lives.   

A promising career is the one that enables you to pursue your career interests, ensures that you are always learning and keeps you stimulated.  

If you’re not feeling the love, it’s time to move on. 


Image with thanks to USW-UniLife: creative commons licensed (BY) flickr photo by USW-UniLife:  

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