ENTREPRENEURSHIP / NOV. 14, 2014
version 4, draft 4

Top 10 Business Buzzwords Everybody's Sick and Tired Of

It’s like the song the radio station plays fifteen times a day, or the catch phrase that even your mother started using. Over saturation is only good when talking about liquid funds and even the business world has its own tried, tired and dusty phrases that should warrant a collective groan every time their muttered. I wouldn’t recommend doing so though if it’s your boss using them during a meeting. Here are the top ten business buzzwords everybody’s sick and tired of.

1. “Think outside the box”

My God, we open the list with the most offensive synonym for non-divergent problem solving since…well never, this one is the grand offender, the worst of the worst. This term is so over used that it has come to mean ironically the opposite. Good gosh what would you expect from a phrase that was adapted to a Taco Bell slogan?

2. "Paradigm Shift"

Yet another term that means innovation and forward thinking yet has been beat worse than a horse skeleton, Paradigm Shift is used as a wordy alternative to plain effective “innovation”. In no context would Paradigm Shift be more appropriate than “innovation” than if to seem pompous and pretentious. Please be your own Paradigm Shift and shelf it.

3. "Hit the ground running"

At least the other two made sense. This one is completely founded on cartoon logic. The only way that this would be possible is if you were suspended from a high precipice of your choosing (balcony, roof or high brick wall)  while you dropped to act like you’re running, only to likely result in you falling on to your face. Also you can’t take a running start sitting you, wouldn’t be able to stand up while you flayed your legs around like a dork.

4. Synergy

Synergy makes most people that have spent extensive amounts of time in the board room scream uncontrollably. Another word that is used way too often sounds way too pompous and is just generally unnecessary. It is such an evil word that I heard if you say it three times in front of a mirror at 8.00 a.m. a CEO actually shows up and micromanages your morning routine.

5. Game Changer

What is this the early two thousands? No its two thousand fourteen, update the vocab, people are using smartphones and tablets to communicate now-a-days, and haven’t worn fur-anything in close to a decade. Someone probably watched Boiler Room one too many times.

6. Accountability

Yes, everything is politically correct and it’s getting even more correct. Most bosses want to through the fault on a hapless lower level employee but unfortunately lawsuit and labor laws protect those mouth-breathers. I will not be held accountable for that mouth-breathers remark.

7.  Core Competency

Really?! Is this a workout video or Zumba workshop? Just get to the Core of what the company’s about and how well it preforms and stop trying to talk smart, it doesn’t suit you.

8. SWAT team

Ugh, this one’s detestable, the douchiest of the douchy. Business people especially in the field of stock brokerage loooove their military terms and they use them liberally. But to parallel a group of highly trained, physically fit police officers that only go to high risk operations to a group of highly fed, pudgy business people in suits is just a tad offensive also.

9. Empower

This one makes my eyelid tremble with contempt. Initially used as a Feminist term and to encourage assertiveness so women would pursue positions of upper management. Since then though it has been adopted as a coverall term for lower tier members of team when tasked with more responsibilities without the pay.

10. Drinking the Kool Aid

For the members of the audience playing at home, this term refers to a mass suicide that claimed 900 lives in 1978. What does it refer to in business terms? Believing in the oppositions marketing and advertisement. Not cool business folk, not cool. 

Do you use these type of phrases? Well stop! They’re unnecessary and make you seem like a gas bag. Now if you have heard these phrases and would like to put a stop to them, sign the petition below that says comments. 

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