CAREER DEVELOPMENT / DEC. 03, 2014
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What to Do If You Want Him To Work, But He Doesn’t Want To

It’s quite traditional for the man to be the backbone of the household. Meaning, in most cultures, it’s accustomed for men to leave the house to work and women to stay-at-home to tend to the household and children.

However, times have changed and women are pulling their weight as well.

There are a number of family households where women are the main source of income and men aren’t working. In this case, reverse gender roles have come into play.

Some women (although they may not voice it enough or at all) are completely exhausted from being the only financial providers—especially when children are involved.

Whether you believe that providing for the home is a 50/50 effort or mainly up to your husband, there are ways to deal with this particular issue.

In this article, I will share with you a few ways you can make things work for not only yourself, but also for your family and relationship as a whole. 

1. Help Him Find Work:

In most cases, your husband may be discouraged from job-hunting. Maybe he’s been turned down more than once or can’t seem to find a career that’s fulfilling for him? Well, this is the perfect time to assist him in searching for the right job. Help him look on job board websites or job classifieds. Suggest different job positions that may be interesting to your husband.  If it has something to do with his resume, then seek professional help from an expert. Your interest may just motivate him to get back out there to help provide for the family.

2. Encourage Him To Volunteer:

Volunteering is the best way to be reminded about how awesome it feels to be at someone’s service. Maybe you could persuade him to start working in the community when he has the free time.  When he’s not taking care of the kids or playing videogames all day, he could be volunteering at a local food bank. Doing physical labour could turn out to be the motivation that he needs. He may soon want to turn his free service into a service where he’ll be compensated for his work.

3. Put Him to Work Around the Home:

To make this situation work for both of you, maybe you could put him to work around the house more. Don’t allow him to sit around and do nothing. Tell him that while you’re at work, he should be working too. Perhaps there are a few things that need to be fixed around the house and he’s just the right guy for it. When you can’t make it to your kids’ sport games, dad should be there 24/7.  If there are errands that need to be completed, he should make it his job to have them done. That way you will be bringing in the money and he’ll be keeping the house in order. 

4. Accept the Fact He’s a Stay-At-Home Father:

Sometimes you just have to accept the fact that he may just want to be a stay-at-home dad. As hard as this may be to believe, some fathers aren’t cut out for the employment world just like some women don’t want to be stuck in the house all day tending to wifely duties. Staying at home and taking care of the responsibilities that you’re unable to do on a daily basis could be the ideal job for him. If he’s doing a good job at it and helps you in the process, then leave him be. Plus, who would be able to pick up the kids from school every day if he were to have a job too? Changing the order of things may cause more damage than good.

The goal here is not to baby your husband, but to be there for him no matter what the circumstance may be. 

Unless your husband has a definite reason to not work (like a disability or handicap), then your frustration is absolutely justified. 

Times are harder for most people now, and especially for those working below minimum wage. 

Yet, marriage is beneficial because not only do you have someone else there to share your life with, but you also have more than one household income to live off of. 

Therefore, your husband should understand that it takes teamwork to make the dream work and you should be there to cheer him all the way to his next job.

The same scenario applies for working husbands too who feel the same about their wives. 

Image source: lorialexander

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