CELEBRITIES / JAN. 03, 2015
version 6, draft 6

Why Celebrity Motivational Quotes are B.S.

Celebrities are role models, idols and sometimes just simple down to earth people with a bank account large enough to rival a small country’s budget. Us simple folk follow them on Twitter and watch them on TV. We even watch them through their gates as they sadly eat dinner by themselves (I can’t be the only one…really no one’s going to back me up on that one?). Just like everyone else they express themselves intelligently and in a humoristic way. Sometimes they do it in a way that makes you wonder what kind of alcohol and drug combination they used before sharing their perspective on how garbage disposals are portals to parallel universes. Where’s the garbage go man? None the less when someone comes from a place of privilege with quotes regarding hard work, the struggle and things that are unachievable by us peasants you just got to call B.S.

Piddy Diddy, I mean Puff Daddy, Diddy Piddy P?

Rise and grind people!  Let’s go!  I’ll meet you at the top!  GO!!!!!”

I don’t even know what self-inflicted moniker he goes by anymore, but he is a very successful, rap-a-trepreneur (that’s a rapper cum entrepreneur for the layman). One of his motivational quotes is:

Really? This is like being challenged by an Olympic runner that already has a 10 second head start on a 100 meter dash. Oh and you get kicked in the testicles right before the race begins. Meet you at the finish-line! Douche.

Paulo Coehlo

A boat is safe in the harbor.  But this is not the purpose of a boat.”

For anyone that isn’t familiar with the aforementioned Brazilian, he is an author of books that are basically composed motivation narratives. Think something like a self-help book but in the form of a story. Aaaaw so easily digestible.

Actually Mr. Coehlo there are a lot of purposes for a boat, one primary one is to float regardless of locale.

George Clooney

I don’t believe in happy endings, but I do believe in happy travels, because ultimately, you die at a very young age, or you live long enough to watch your friends die. It’s a mean thing, life.”

One of the hottest, richest men in Hollywood that recently married a wealthy international lawyer that could easily be mistaken for a supermodel (she quite attractive to put it subtlety). Yup, my heart goes out to you Mr. Clooney what a mean unfair life you lead.

Sylvester Stallone

I believe there’s an inner power that makes winners or losers. And the winners are the ones who really listen to the truth of their hearts.”

Unless your heart says make Expendables 2 and 3. Then don’t listen to it.

Chuck Norris

A lot of people give up just before they’re about to make it. You know you never know when that next obstacle is going to be the last one.”

That’s fine and dandy when you can punch the first obstacle and take out all of them at once (this is a disclaimer I am not trying to bring back the Chuck Norris joke, that was a dark dark period of time that should be buried deep in the earth to protect future generations from exposer).

Do you have a Motivational quote that raises your eye-brow and makes you want call B.S.? Well then let us know in the comment section below. 

See also: Top Motivational Quotes for Employees

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