England isn’t all tea, scones and Downton Abbey-ing…and shame on you for thinking that, because London (or Londontown as completely irrelevant rotund American tourists in athletic socks and sandals call it) is the birthplace of punk, The Queen Mother and a bicycle with a machine gun mounted on it. So, yes it’s even cooler than your cousin Switch-Blade Vinnie from the Bronx…hell, it’s even cooler than the Bronx in its entirety. And that is why I can never visit the Bronx ever again.
Joking aside, though, London is one of World’s most exciting fast-paced capitals, packed full of attractive young professionals working hard and playing harder in some of the craziest clubs this side of Ibiza. And which clubs do the insufferably beautiful, enviously wealthy and limitlessly energetic Londonites frequent? Funny you should ask:
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Cirque Le Soir
Do you feel like your life needs a bit more circus excitement? You do, great! But, we’re not talking about the regular family friendly circus. No, we mean the kind that feels like it was designed by Garey Busey and Lady Gaga on Acid. If this is what you are looking for, then Cirque Le Soir will satisfy your needs. Part sex-circus, part uber-exclusive club, Cirque Le Soir has been voted best club in London for four years in a row which is an extremely long tenure for London’s mobile and dynamic club scene.
But, let’s get down to the nitty gritty and I mean real gritty. The club’s Friday theme is Censored Fridays which features bondage, sex shows and sex toys. It’s frequented by celebrities including the immaculately hot Scar-Jo, Leonardo Di Caprio and David Guetta. Rub elbows with a celebrity and then maybe you might get to rub something else, hey celebrities are freaks…I mean people too.
If you want to be a certified, genuine Londoner…then you have to frequent the coolest hippest places. The ones that are tucked away from tourists and people that have visited Buckingham Palace on purpose. When it comes to cool and hip a gallery by day and a live music venue by night that has hosted artists such as Amy Winehouse, Dizzee Rascal and Peter Doherty is probably the coolest without having to be treated for frostbite. Add a bit of burlesque for some sophisticated sexy…and you have all the trappings of a great night.
Sure, you could go to one of the run of the mill clubs that offer hedonism and debauchery in droves, but how about a club that has featured musical legends such as Madonna and the Red Hot Chili Peppers? Or maybe you are looking for the latest and greatest local talent. Well, KOKO has got you covered no matter what you are looking for. Not only does it host blowout superstars and hype-worthy up-and-comers, but it also hosts themed nights too. Soon enough you’ll be in love with KOKO, and the best part of it is that this KOKO’s legal.
The Grandad, Godfather and Spiritual Father of London’s club scene. Fabric has made innumerable bodies undulate to cutting edge and underground EDM for the last 15 years. Coming in on the top of most lists as the best club in London, Fabric is only for the hardcore clubber. The type of clubber that has had their internal organs molded by bass, tanned by flashing multi-colored light effects and that has mistaken a disco-ball for the sun more than once. Fabric’s headline act doesn’t even take to the wheels of steel until 3 a.m., long after all the fair-weather clubbers and tourists call it a night.
Sometimes a night can end before it even starts, though, because the better the club, the more exclusive it is and the harder to get into. That’s why you should either pray to the club gods that you can get your name on the list…or enlist your own personal club god: Kleek, a new app which will give you unparalleled access to London’s hottest venues, most exclusive restaurants and experiences. They even have a blog packed with insider advice on where to go and what to do. You don’t even have to make any sacrificial offerings to it. If that isn’t a club god, I don’t know what is!
Oh, ye and just because we are that awesome, Careeraddict has managed to secure an invite code that gives our readers exclusive access to the app. So, if you want to have your own private club god, and £50 worth of free drinks, then just enter CAREERADDICT when you sign up for the app and voila instant access. Yep, I know, awesome. Sorry, I feel my head getting bigger.
Have you ever been to any of these clubs? Or even been denied access? Wouldn’t you love an easier way to get in than nervously queuing outside, hoping the bouncer takes pity on you? Then use the exclusive invite code and worry no more!