Wow, I can’t believe my boss gave me this to write…it’s obviously going to piss off A LOT of people. I mean, many people care about their religion more than anything else in the whole world…I don’t know if I’m comfortable with this…ehm, excuse me I’m going to ask if it’s ok to write something different. Ok, so my boss said he’d sh*t-can me if I didn’t write this article. *Sigh* I’m sorry if I offend anyone but these are the craziest religions in the world.
So this isn’t crazy for its beliefs that include monotheism, a binary personification of good and evil, a messiah and a virgin birth. But for how long Zoroastrianism has existed. Although records refer to Zoroastrianism starting around 5 B.C. researchers believe that the religion hails back to the early 2nd millennium B.C. The religion’s main tenements are morality and respect for the earth, and it has roughly 125.000-190.000 followers around the world. No really that crazy at all.
Ok, so this is where it might seem a bit crazy, the way the religion stipulates believers’ bodies should be disposed of. Basically their dead are deposited on top of circular towers that have no roof and left for the sun and wind to bleach the bones. The bones are then put into the center column of the structure with lye that breaks the solids down, and then washed away out to sea by rainwater through sand and charcoal filters. The reason they do this is because of the belief that bodies upon death are possessed by a demon which brings decay, and by burying or burning the bodies you will be tarnishing/contaminating the earth or fire (both of which are sacred in the religion’s beliefs).
Religion with a side of Nazism
Sure if you are a left wing liberal conspiracy theorist, you will say that all religions brainwash their believers…I’m not one of those left wing liberals, and patchouli oil has never once touched my skin, but you have to admit that to a certain extent religions influence their followers. Most of the time that influence is for the greater good, as they teach us about morality and not killing or boinking other people’s spouse etc. But some religions use their influence a bit more nefariously…actually really nefariously. Such is the case of a certain group of very white, very fanatic church going folk known as The Creativity Movement.
Essentially, the Creativity Movement is a white supremacy group, under the guise of an organized religious movement. The deity they believe in is the white man; their religious text is called The White Man’s Bible (real original) and the Creator that they use for their name (creativity) is the white man and not a higher power. Sure, religion has been misconstrued in the past to demonize a certain denomination (like the Romans with the Christians) but these guys make no qualms about it, their religion is the white man and the cleansing of the world of any non-white people.
Amongst their “religious” holidays, they celebrate the final victory of the whites against Native Americans and the British Landing in Australia. Why don’t they celebrate the British Landing in the States? I guess that whole chain of events is too politically mired for their simple Cro-Magnon brain. I know that’s me taking a big gulp of Hateraid, but it’s not like they don’t deserve it right? Oh and just to make sure that I have driven home the fact that they are a white supremacy group hiding under the tarp of religion, their leader Matthew F. Hale was arrested for plotting with an FBI informant and fellow “parishioner” to assassinate a federal judge.
The Church of Euthanasia
Ok, so go back and read the title, alright do I really have to explain this “religion”? Well, I do because that’s my job. First I’d like to let you know that its leader Rev. Chris Korda promotes the religion as the only anti-human religion in the world. So the basic pillar of this religion is that the world is over-populated, and humans need to stop procreating at such a rapid pace, allowing both humanity and the remaining species on the planet to thrive. One of their most frequently used slogans is: “Save the Planet, Kill Yourself” but that’s their most mild one. The most stomach-turning cringeworthy slogan they use is “Eat a Queer Fetus for Jesus”.
Honestly, it completely wretchedly hateful, but at the same time makes about as much sense as saying “Eat an emotional waffle, for Beelzebub”. The other pillars of the religion include suicide, abortion, cannibalism and sodomy (or any sexual act not intended for procreation; it could’ve been oral, but you just had to go with the most controversial one didn’t you Korda). At least the Church’s dogma strictly prohibits murder, stipulating that population control should only be achieved voluntarily. As with any bat-shit insane cult…um I mean religion, it had its 5 minutes of fame when it published how to commit suicide with helium on their website, which a woman in Missouri used to dispatch herself, resulting in some pretty serious blow-back.
I know that my list has had a discerning lack of sci-fi based religions (I’m looking at you Scientologists and Mormons, just looking…don’t troll me) but I’m about to fix that in one fell swoop. Well, Raelism takes none of the side-roads and goes straight for crazy, because its founder, is an ex-teen pop star turned race car driver, by the name of Claude Maurice Marcel Vorilhon.
According to Claude he was spoken to by extra-terrestrial beings, and told that he was to spread their message that was to inform humanity that they were created (along with everything else in the world) by more advanced extra-terrestrial humans in a lab, in preparation for the said aliens to return. He took on the name Rael (which allegedly means “person that talks to elohim” the elohim being the aliens) and started dressing like Rufus from Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. Maybe this entire thing was an elaborate rouse to change his name, it was Claude Maurice Marcel Vorilhon, I’d start a religion to shorten my name if it was Claude Maurice Marcel Vorilhon.
Do you know of any other crazy religions that deserve a place on this list? Let me know in the comment section below!