“We are largely doomed,” according to The Statistical Mechanics of Zombies.
Cornell University researchers have modeled the statistical mechanics of a zombie apocalypse using a range of techniques used to model real diseases, and concluded that the least safe places to seek refuge would be cities and the safest would be the least densely populated places. According to the researchers, as reported in Phys.org, because there are fewer humans to satisfy the appetites of these human flesh-devouring creatures, rural areas create “zombies at a slower rate.” So, where should you hide? The researchers suggest the northern Rockies in America, but they aren’t that optimistic about our long-term survival. TV shows, movies, and books are riven with suggestions of where else you could go, but guided by Cornell’s tips (isolated, difficult to access remote places are best), here are a few good ones I’ve found for you – hideouts to consider in the event of a zombie outbreak.
1. Elliðaey, Iceland
Dead people can’t swim. And neither can undead people, so head for this remote location, part of the Vestmannaeyjar archipelago off the south coast of Iceland. Elliðaey, which has a lodge owned by the Elliðaey Hunting Association, is pretty much uninhabited so it’s the perfect place to flee to in the event of a zombie outbreak.
2. Mount Weather Emergency Operation Center, United States
Located in the Blue Ridge Mountains, approximately 48 miles from Washington, D.C., the Mount Weather Emergency Operation Center (aerial view shown above) is a government facility used primarily to house senior officials in the event of severe emergencies. Mount Weather boasts a 600,000-square foot underground facility, known cryptically as “Area B,” so you should be safe. It is closed to the general public but a zombie apocalypse would probably classify as a severe emergency.
3. Cheyenne Mountain Complex, United States
Another government facility, based just outside of Colorado Springs, the Cheyenne Mountain Complex is a “military installation and nuclear bunker” built during the Cold War. Built into the side of a mountain, the complex is home to a number of government operations such as the North American Aerospace Defence Command (NORAD). The structure is surrounded by 2,000 feet of granite over five acres and its “blast doors” weigh 25 tons each. Once those doors are closed, no one, living or dead, will be able to get through (although there is a way to open them, apparently). Surely, there isn’t a safer hideout than this underground bunker?
4. Shime Coal Mine Tower, Japan
When the zombie outbreak finally happens, the abandoned Shime Coal Mine Tower, built between 1941 and 1943, is the place to be. Located in the town of Shime, close to Fukuoka, the stark, 156.3-meter tall, winding concrete tower remains of historic significance given its role in the industrial revolution, where it was employed as a means of increasing the yield of coal from the mines. The tower and the mine underneath stopped operating in 1964. Assuming the undead cannot climb, you’re bound to find refuge here.
5. The Safe House, Poland
This could well be the ultimate hideout. Designed by Polish architectural studio KWK Promes, the Safe House (and it looks like a massive safe) is a beautiful open villa with impenetrable walls, movable walls, safety ones, an entrance, a drawbridge, and a whole host of features to deter even the most determined zombie. Should an army of bludgeoned members of the undead troop to your home for a bite of arm or a cup of eye, rest assured that they won’t be able to get in.
Should you unexpectedly find yourself in the midst of a zombie apocalypse – and we all know it will happen one day – these are the places you should flee to.
Do you have any more suggested hideouts? Add them to the comments box below.