5 Reasons Why You Wouldn't Want To Work For Your Favorite Superhero

Not only do these guys have limitless wealth, seemingly limitless power but they also have six packs that can deflect bullets (and you thought only real life was unfair). As multimillionaire playboys and owners of their own companies it’s fair to assume that they have a ton of employees that work for them, but what would it be like to work for one of your favorite superheroes?

1.  The interview process would be hell

Across from you is sat a person whose sole purpose in life is to pursue deviants and reveal the truth. Batman is known as the World’s Greatest Detective, what makes you think that could successfully fudge any of your credentials? As seen in the Dark Knight film, Batman A.K.A.  Bruce Wayne can use anyone’s cellphone to survey the area around it; do you think he can’t do an in-depth background check? You better have paid all your late fees on that copy of “The Notebook” that you were too embarrassed to go in and take care of is all I’m saying.

2. It would be impossible to goof off

A ritual as old as the institution of employment is the sneaky covert employee goof off. A couple of extra minutes around the water cooler talking about your not-so-eventful weekend, the couple of minutes extra in the break room checking your Facebook, the nap you take above the ceiling tiles between 3-4 p.m. That can’t only be me? If you’re my boss ignore that last method of goofing and please don’t check the ceiling tile above my cubicle between the hours of 3-4 p.m. Forget all that if you are working for someone that can see through walls. 

3. There would be SO much extra work

O.K. from time to time almost all jobs have a deadline to meet or a crisis to avert and you’ll need to go in earlier and leave later than normal. If you worked for a superhero you’d probably forget what normal hours are like. Imagine the mounds of licenses and permits Tony Stark’s (Iron Man) legal department has to fill out to make sure that the arc reactor in his chest is legal. The arc reactor keeps Tony alive (and the power source of his Iron Man armor) but is also based on fusion power and basically makes Tony Stark a walking, talking, philandering Nuclear Bomb.

4. You’d be in CONSTANT danger

The thing about super villains is that they try to get to superheroes any way they can. One of the most popular and time tried techniques is taking an innocent hostage, but with the increase of gas price and traffic being a bitch it’s a good possibility that if your Super-employer is around you might be the lucky innocent hostage. Villains also love grand entrances so, if your beloved Superboss is around, be ready to quickly duck under your desk as a massive explosion shoots glass, mortar and steel every which way. As if there weren’t enough reasons to be nervous when the boss was around.

5. You’d never get paid on time.

Not because they don’t have the money but if your office building and city’s financial district is decimated every week how do expect Judy from accounts to give you your paycheck?

Although it would make a great story for your drinking buddies after work, having a Superhero as a boss could be detrimental to your physical and emotional health.