We’re annoying creatures. It’s as simple as that. We may not think we are, but there are at least two people in this world who might think otherwise. Sometimes it’s accidental, other times it’s on purpose, but the worst time and place to be annoying is at work, unless you really want to irk some certain individuals like a toxic coworker, or even your supervisor.
Everyone in the world has dealt with at least one horrid manager, supervisor or boss. This person has decided to make our lives a living hell by micromanaging, insulting and/or being overbearing. For whatever reason, this manager has honed in on you and has decided to make you the victim in the office.
See Also: 7 Most Annoying Things in Your Office
You have decided to be the victim no longer. One way to overcome this is to be passively annoying. For the next little while, you will learn to annoy your supervisor and make him shriek like an opera singer in a Mozart opera. The smallest of things will have him feeling frustrated, bothered and uncomfortable. And there’s nothing he can do about it.
Here are the best ways to annoy your supervisor:
1. Be (Too) Sensitive About Feedback
Is your performance review coming up? Well, start to become really sensitive when you are given any sort of review that seems like criticism or negative feedback of your work. Even if your supervisor is just asking you to revise a report or fix up some errors in an assignment, start taking it personally and highlight your sensitive side. It doesn’t hurt to begin showing some tears.
2. Ask for Permission for Everything
Want to be a nuisance? Start asking your supervisor for permission to do certain things around the office. Do you want to go to the bathroom? Ask for permission. Want to borrow a pen? Ask for permission. Want to go to lunch? Ask for permission. Want to just ask a question? Ask for permission.
If you want this to be effective, implement this behavior gradually. Don’t do it right away on Monday morning because they’ll know something is up. You’ll be as obvious as a pair of spats at a Texan caucus meeting.
3. Send Constant Emails
One of the most frustrating things about emails is the constant back and forth. This is why a lot of supervisor have learned how to construct a call-to-action email that outlines everything that needs to be done. Want to irk him a little bit more? Send him multiple emails asking for clarity, to confirm something, or to simply asking if everything is going well!
4. Make Noises While You Eat and Drink
A lot of people make noises while they eat or drink. This is very common but very annoying at the same time. If you’re near your supervisor, start to slurp your coffee and say "ah!" after every single sip. If you’re eating a sandwich, flap your gums and clean your teeth with your tongue, and be sure to be very conspicuous about it.
5. Challenge Your Supervisor in Front of the Boss
This is for the brave. If you really want to annoy your supervisor then be sure to confront, challenge or question their authority in front of the head honcho. This is especially important when you’re 100% certain your supervisor is wrong about something. Or you can bring up something embarrassing.
6. Suck Up with False Compliments
One way to be very nauseating is falsely sucking up to your supervisor with disingenuous compliments like "Have you been going to the gym lately?" or “Have you been walking through strangers’ minds lately?”
7. Buy a Noisy Suit
Remember when George Costanza from Seinfeld purchased a new suit and it made a lot of noise when he walked? If you want to annoy your supervisor by just walking around, then be sure to wear something that makes quite a bit of noise. Whenever you go to the washroom, head outside for a break or talk to your supervisor, you’ll likely bother him just a tiny bit.
8. Pass the Monkey
In human resources terms, "passing the monkey" refers to passing the blame onto someone else and not taking any responsibility, and allocating tasks to your supervisor. Do this often. When something goes wrong on a project or at a meeting, you can ask out loud "Did I do that?" much like Steve Urkel would. Or you can say "I didn’t do it".
9. Incorporate Your Fingers Into Conversations
Similar to nicknames, using your fingers in conversations can make the best of us vomit. Air quotes, gun slinging and thumbs up are prevalent in our society and in office landscapes. Annoy your supervisor by doing this throughout a conversation – they may end up breaking your fingers after a few hours of this, though.
10. Start Drumming on Any Office Surface
"William Tell Overture," "Flight of the Bumblebee" and "Sabre Dance" are all great tunes to drum on any surface. Simply put: whenever you’re near a surface, whether it’s a desk, cabinet or copy machine, use it as a surface to drum any tune you want. Sure, it’ll make your colleagues want to strangle you, but it’ll irk your supervisor even more.
Alternatively, you can hum these as well. But try to hum Gilbert and Sullivan’s "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General."
11. Call Your Manager Nicknames
"Tiger," "champion," "general" and "old boy/girl" are just some of the nicknames you can call your supervisor whenever you see him or her. Although they may be terms of endearment, they’re inappropriate at the office. But what the heck? If it annoys your supervisor, then so be it.
12. Email About Voicemails About Texts
So, you sent a couple of text messages to your supervisor. He didn’t reply to them, so you called him up and left a couple of voicemails. He didn’t respond to those, so you naturally decided to email him about the text messages and voicemails. You didn’t get an email back so you called him back one more time, and left a text message for good measure. Did he ever get it?
13. Chew on Office Pens
You’ll definitely make some enemies in the office with this one, but if you’re leaving soon then it won’t matter in the least. But as your supervisor explains something to you, start chewing on office pens. The noise and the entire act will immensely annoy him or her.
14. Make Appointments on the 31st
If you’re in charge of making appointments for your supervisor, try to make appointments on the 31st. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing if it’s in the month of July or October. However, if it’s in April, September or November then you have a problem on your hands, considering that there aren’t 31 days in any of those months.
15. Keep Asking "Did You Hear That?"
Right in the middle of a meeting or a conversation, ask your supervisor "Did you hear that?" There’ll be a moment of silence and it’s likely no sound will be heard. Follow up with "Oh, never mind! It must be my imagination!" before asking him again a couple of minutes later.
16. Never Make (or Break) Eye Contact
Are you interacting with your supervisor? During this interaction, never make any sort of eye contact with him as he explains something to you. On the other hand, you can make him feel uncomfortable by never breaking eye contact with him. Just stare at him intently as he talks.
17. Have a Deadpan Stare During a Conversation
Whether it’s at an interview or just through a conversation, we highlight our attention by nodding our heads or uttering "uh huh." Refrain from doing this. Just have a deadpan stare as your supervisor speaks and when he seeks confirmation that you’re paying attention, simply reply with one word: “yes”.
18. Look Really Nervous
Be very nervous throughout your entire day. Whisper at your supervisor, look behind your shoulder whenever you walk, put the phone down as soon as your manager arrives at your desk, and start sweating profusely. They’ll think you’re hiding something, but obviously you’re not. When they ask you what’s going on, your response will be "Nothing" – and then wink.
You didn’t want your relationship with your supervisor to resort to this, but you have no other choice. They made you do it with their constant bickering, punctilious nature and micromanaging skills. It’s unimportant now that you have found another job (hopefully).
It’s important to note that you should always conduct your work with the greatest of efforts and make it perfect. It’s now more imperative than ever before because the supervisor could dismiss you or send you home.
Have you ever annoyed your supervisor? Can you think of any other ideas on how to do so? Let us know in the comments section!