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How to Deal with 3 Types of Impossible Clients

Ah, dealing with people is as pleasant as dragging your bare bottom on a gravel road. But there are a few types of customers that make that previous scenario sound like rolling around in a pile of down feathers. There are some clients that make life so insufferable, so miserable that they should be considered cruel and unusual punishment. Here are some of those impossible clients and this is how to deal with them.

1. The Decider

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Also known as the head strong client, this individual has made up their mind before they even got in the car. They have the perception that they are experts in everything and cannot be budged from their opinions, even if changing their mind would be infinitely beneficial to them. The only way to deal with these types of clients is to pull the “megalomaniac”: remember in cartoons or old movies where a mad-scientist’s/villain’s lackey would say a great idea and then the villain/mad-scientist would turn and say “I have a great idea!” then repeating the lackey’s idea? Well, that’s exactly what you need to do with the “decider” convince them that your idea is theirs. Much like a mystic martial art make your enemy’s greatest strength their greatest weakness.


2. The Time-Bomb

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This client has the temper and self-control of Zeus. For all of you unfamiliar with ancient Greek mythology, Zeus was the king of the Gods and he would screw and torment anyone that stood in his way. To the extent were he strapped a dude to a cliff, gave him the ability to regenerate missing internal organs so that vultures could eat them every day, so that Prometheus (the guy strapped to the cliff) could feel the pain every day anew. This customer is about as level headed as that: if they had the power they would Prometheus you. The best way to deal with a hot-headed customer is to give them their space, like a tantrum throwing three year old- they might even turn around, apologize, tell you they love you and then poop in their pants. Fair warning they have many triggers and can go off at any moment so, be prepared to duck behind a desk, fake plant or water-cooler at a moment’s notice.

3. The Un-Decider

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Just as bad as the “decider”, the “un-decider” is the type of client that takes three quarters of an hour in the morning deciding what color socks to wear. You must baby this client at every step of the way, answer more questions than you did when you participated on “Who Wants To Be Millionaire” and wait arms crossed across your chest until they change their mind for the hundredth time. The only way to deal with the un-decider is to be patient…no matter how teeth grindingly excruciating it might be, you have to take a breath, step back and tell yourself that at least you’re getting paid for doing nothing.

See Also: How to Deal With a Bad Superior at Work

Do you know of any other insufferable types of clients? And even better how to deal with them? Let me know in the comment section below.