How Different Kinds of Caffeine Affect You at Work

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What does a parkour, a base jumping energy drink guzzling crack head and a cute little British grandma have in common? Well, they are both pretty addicted to caffeine. Although an uber-caffeine and sugar infused energy drink that tastes like Transformer urine is very different from a pleasant cup of Earl Grey with a touch of milk, they both have caffeine but they have very different effects on you.

Here are the different effects various types of caffeine have on you at work.



To the Queen’s health (or whatever tea-guzzling Brits say when they have it)! Tea is an organic beverage that results from steeping the leaves of Camellia Sinensis in boiling water for a period of time. After water, tea is the most consumed beverage in the world (but then again they say that about coffee, so who knows). Although it’s touted as the jelly spined caffeine cousin of coffee, 8 oz. of black tea can contain 70 mg of the stimulate, which is on par with a 6 oz. cup of joe (that’s coffee for the non-Americans). The thing is, tea not only jacks you, it also relaxes you with a substance called Theanine. The combination of the two result in a heightened awareness, increased cognitive ability without the jittery side-effects of other caffeinated beverages. If you want to stay young forever then tea’s got you covered there too, since its packed full of those hype-worthy antioxidants everyone raves about.



Tea’s more robust smoky brother, coffee, is boiling water that is run through grounds of the coffee trees fruits’ pit that have been previously roasted. Although a high commodity the highest priced coffee, is from the excrement of the civet (a feline like animal that resembles a ferret). So yes, one of the most expensive types of coffee is essentially poop coffee. Coffee gives you a rapid perk up, that increases cognitive ability, heighten perception and attention. Yes, it’s basically Superman in a cup. Beyond that, it has been speculated that the black brew protects against diabetes, Parkinson’s, liver cancer and even has positive effects on heart health.

Energy Drinks

In the conveniently sourced video above, a group of Buzzfeed editors (I’m assuming because “editor” sounds better than Buzzfeed People) try an assortment of energy drinks. Although within the first 20 min. most of the volunteers experience a spike of cognitive activity, in the long run their cognitive abilities drop below the baseline they established at the beginning of the trial. The only energy drink that seems to have a positive effect for the better portion of the day is the 5 hour Energy Drink, but I wonder if that is a true effect or a placebo effect due to the name of the product.

Caffeine Pills


Recently, caffeine pills have seen their way into supplement store shelves touted as a way to increase resting metabolic rate. It definitely does that and it can also make the body release adrenaline which in turn tells the body to burn fat for energy. Caffeine pills are a good solution for anyone that can’t (or won’t) drink coffee and tea. On the other hand, you would have to drink 70 cups of coffee (or tea) to overdose on caffeine and considering the human stomach only has a capacity of 4.26 cups you would have to vomit and imbibe again about 16 times before you could do that…considering you actually assimilated anything you vomited in the first place. With pills though over-dosing is much more dangerously easy to overdose.

Are there any other types of caffeinated items that you’d like to add to the list, like gum, toothpaste or energy patches? Let us know in the comment section below, while I get a cup of java.