Let’s be real. We all have that annoying coworker in the office. You know, the one you’d like to knock out simply because every word coming out of his mouth grates against your nerves like fingernails scraping against a chalkboard. There’s a right way and a wrong way to deal with these people. Getting along the right way is always the best option; especially if you want to keep your job and avoid jail time. For those of you who would rather strangle this annoying coworker, take a moment to think before you act. Your future depends on it.
See Also: Worst Ways to Annoy a Coworker
If you can handle spending the rest of your life in jail because you took a hit out on this annoying coworker, by all means. Yet, if you fear what could happen to you in prison, consider the following ways that you should NOT deal with annoying coworkers. It’s going to take some self-control, but you can restrain yourself from verbally or physically assaulting your annoying coworker. Even though playing mind games and calculating a sweet revenge scheme sounds delicious, don’t partake of that evil fruit.
1. Don't Verbally Assault Them
Ok, so you’d really like to march over to your annoying coworker’s desk and blast him with every expletive you can think of. You know exactly the tone of voice you’d use and it wouldn’t be all sweet and gooey like the way you speak to your cute little niece. No, this would be a full on verbal attack. You’d open the flood gates and get off your chest all your feelings about how this person completely annoys you every second of the day. You can’t even stand the sight of this person and have no qualms about telling him.
You’ve dreamed of this day for weeks. When you could simply let it all out and verbally abuse him until he’s sobbing on his knees like a baby seeking your mercy. Then you’d have all the power. Oh how good that would feel. Finally, you’ve put an end to the madness of his annoying chatter. No longer would he stop by your desk to aimlessly waste your time while nearly killing you from boredom as he shared how he made another stupid cat video to upload to YouTube this weekend. You felt like your eyes were going to bleed out if you had to listen to him one more second.
You’ve planned your verbal assault and know exactly when and where you’re going to do it. Just let me stop you there. Play this fantasy over and over again in your mind, but don’t let it become a reality. Unless of course you’d like to get fired or get sent to the psych ward by your manager because your mental breakdown shocked everyone in the office. Don’t give this annoying coworker any power over you and your future. It will be tough to ignore him, but you need to try. Whatever you do, keep your verbal assaults limited to a satisfying movie that plays out only in your mind.
2. Don't Physically Abuse Them
You may be way beyond the verbal assault and are ready to physically abuse your annoying coworker. Again with the mind movies, you’ve played out different scenarios about how to get rid of this person. Maybe you figured it would be great to kidnap him after work while he was on his way in the parking garage to his car. You’ve watched enough episodes of Criminal Minds to know how to get the job done. You have your taser and rope all ready. You can’t keep him locked up in your apartment. So you’d play it safe and keep him hidden away in the storage room in the basement. Well, unless you have some desolate cabin in the woods!
Kidnapping your annoying coworker and stashing him away in the basement may not be good enough for you. His daily annoying offenses have put you way passed your limit. You cannot even tolerate the sight or smell of him anymore. That’s when you’ve planned your attack. Maybe it would be catching him unaware outside the building after you’ve all worked overtime late into the night. You have your weapon of choice and are ready for the attack.
Whoa, let’s hold your horses cowboy! Do you see how seriously messed up and demented this sounds when you actually see your thoughts written out. You may despise your annoying coworker. Yet putting a hit out on him, or trying to get rid of him yourself is not only devious, but makes you kind of like a psychopath. Ok, take a deep breath and rule out any options of physically abusing (or worse, murdering) this annoying coworker.
3. Never Play Mind Games
Maybe verbal or physical abuse is not your thing. You’ve been brainstorming other ways to deal with this annoying coworker. Your plan consists of playing devious mind games to make this person cry like a baby and end up too scared to come back to the office. Your plan could work, unless you got caught. Then you’d end up roomies with this annoying coworker in the psych ward! Maybe not the best way to deal with her annoying behavior. Yet, you cannot let go of your plan.
You’ve figured out a way to make this annoying coworker go insane. It’s time to learn how to become that master manipulator where you turn the tables on this annoying coworker and start irritating her until she’s lost her mind. Ok, so she wants to chat with you all day and waste your time. You decide to turn the tables and become her worst nightmare. You’re going to stick to her like glue. Follow her everywhere around the office, even to the bathroom stall. You request a transfer to the cubicle next to hers so you can pop over the wall every five seconds to utter another inane comment about hating to wear underwear or sharing your sob story about the break up with your boyfriend that never actually happened. You decide to manipulate the situation and play mind games with this person any way that you can.
Ok, so there are problems with this plan. You’re probably going to go insane too! It would be just your luck that this annoying coworker tattled to your manager and got you in trouble. What! I know! After all this person did to annoy you. Once the tables were turned on them, and then you get in trouble. There’s no justice in that. Besides, you’d get even less work done while trying this mind manipulating plan than when this person annoyed you in the first place.
4. Never Calculate Revenge Schemes
Forget about all three of these plans. You’re going in for the kill and calculating the sweetest revenge scheme of all time. You’ve binge watched every episode of Revenge to figure out the ways of the diabolical mind and how to channel Emily Thorne’s character. You’ve got your red sharpie ready to make that X mark right on that photo of your annoying coworker’s face. Who needs to verbally or physically assault this person or manipulate them into Silly Putty? No, you’ve got a better plan. You intend to put your beautiful revenge scheme into place so that this person will take the fall for a crime they didn’t commit.
Maybe you’ve figured out a way to get him to unwittingly go against your boss’s orders. Then he’ll get fired for insubordination while you’re laughing near to tears when he’s escorted from the building. Your revenge plan will take on a life of its own. You’ll begin to include all of his annoying cohorts into the payback plot. Who cares that none of his annoying friends in the office ever actually annoyed you! You’re doing everyone else a favor by plotting revenge against them so that the workplace can once again become irritation free.
Time to take a deep breath and shake yourself back into reality. After all, Emily Thorne nearly died in the series finale. Eventually your revenge schemes are going to come back and hit you where it hurts most.
It may kill you to be nice to that annoying coworker, but look at the alternatives. You could end up fired, in jail or in the psych ward simply because you couldn’t control your own anger and frustration.
Have you ever had to refrain yourself from doing something bad to that annoying coworker? Let us know in the comment section below.