I have been around technology all my life. It has opened horizons in my mind, consciousness and sexuality that I would never have thought and feared to admit being able to access. As my mind opened though, my addiction grew stronger; I could not sustain normal function if I didn’t have the cool blue glow of technology flooding my face. As the days passed and the technology became cheaper, faster and more accessible, my dependence spun out of control. I would wake up at in the middle of the night and fall into the dark vortex of interconnected youtube video, watching unending sequences of ‘Top 10 vines’ thinking to myself how could they all be ‘ Top 10’ if there were so many of them? The madness had to stop, even when going to the bathroom I had to scroll through endless Meme’s, videos and sub-reddits.
I have managed today to only use my phone as a phone. I have uninstalled all the apps on it and shortly after spend 20 min flipping its four screens back and forth while softly crying. I was a level 70 in Farmville! Eventually, the tears started interfering with the scrolling between vacant screens, so I stopped. I went to sleep trying to control the shaking.
I have lost track of the days without ‘Throw-back Thursdays’ and ‘Follow Fridays’ as anchors for the end of the week. Yesterday I went to work at 8.30 A.M. which would be normal if it wasn’t Sunday. I went back home and drew an iPhone screen, fully populated with apps, on a bare wall, and double tapped, hard clicked and swiped at the wall until my fingers were raw.
My father noticed that I was having trouble keeping track of the days and he gave me this strange analogue device called a “Cale-ndar”. Initially, I thought it had some sort of radar capabilities since the name ended in ‘ndar’, but I was grossly misdirected. It just displays the days, weeks and months and is so primitive that you have to wait an entire day to switch screens. The shaking has subsided, but I became frustrated when I couldn’t pinch zoom an image in a ‘maga-zine’ which I also was given by my father. I tried to restart the device but couldn’t find the power-button, must’ve been made by Apple, the form over function idiots. Hmmm, I also seem to be a bit testy due to the lack of internet trolling available to me.
I have not been able to go to the restroom for four days, without something to stimulate my mind, I concentrate on my bowels which seem to have performance anxiety. My father says I should try using the “maga-zine”. I have also noticed changes in communication patterns.
Anyone over 40 years old seems to understand me much easier than before; I even had a 30 min. talk with my mother about something called ‘nature’. It sounds like a great relaxing place and relatively accessible as my mother informs me it is all around us.
I ventured out into the ‘nature’ thing my mother told me about and it was horrible. The moment I stepped outside the door, I was blinded by this bright white globe so intensely that my eyes started to water. Suddenly I remembered why I preferred the solitude of enclosed spaces and my technology opposed to the ‘relaxing’ expanses of ‘nature’. ‘Nature’ is infested with flying, biting, stinging and maiming insects, plants and animals. I ran inside screaming and covered in welts. I laid in bed with the sheets over my head and fantom-double-clicked until I feel asleep.
I am still reeling from my tech addiction, is there anyone out there that kicked the habit? Please, please let me know in the comment section below.