How to Secretly Control Your Boss

If you wanted to be completely honest with yourself, you’d probably have to admit that at one point or another you’ve wanted to control your boss. Imagine being able to control how much you got paid and having more vacation time given to you. Just imagine if you had Magneto’s mind powers and you could use them all on your boss. Well, seeing as you are not a superhero you might need to find a new type of mind control to use on your boss. You don’t need to go as far as actually achieving mind control, simply implement certain behavioral patterns into your daily workplace environment which help you achieve control over your boss. The key to being successful in such an endeavour is to behave in a way where your boss thinks he’s in complete control, while you are involved in pulling strings to influence his behavior.

See Also: 5 Valid Reasons to Question Your Boss

1. Become Your Boss’s Biggest Fan

Ok, so you won’t start following your boss around everywhere like a celebrity stalker would. However, if you want to secretly control your boss, you need to become his biggest fan. It is important to demonstrate to your boss that you know he actually is the boss and you are a loyal subject. There is definitely a fine line that you need to follow. You should never cross the line and obey every word your boss says simply because he’s the boss. You won’t do something illegal just because your boss told you to, right? You wouldn’t jump off a bridge because your boss said so, right? The point is to use your brain and assess where the boundaries line up. However, for the most part -unless you’re working for a bad boss- you need to be loyal to your boss and follow his directives to the letter.

For example, show your boss respect. Don’t engage in arguments with him simply because you think he is wrong. Employ your critical thinking skills to discuss issues in a mature and professional manner, while respecting your boss. After all, he is the boss and you’re not. If you ever hope to one day become a boss, you first need to be loyal to the one you have. Find ways to commend your boss for his leadership. As an employee, you’re not the only one who wants to hear a nice word of praise every now and then. Start praising your boss for his management skills and that will go a long way toward helping you in secretly controlling his behavior.

2. Understand Your Boss’s Goals

It is also important to understand your boss’s goals if you want to be successful in your secret control mission. Yes, your boss does have goals too. Bosses don’t simply encourage their employees to have goals without having their own as well. Unless your boss has a split personality and is trying to get himself fired, then probably his number one goal is to become a better manager who will be successful in increasing his employees’ productivity. Remember that the main trick in secretly controlling your boss is to make him think he’s in control when you’re really influencing the show. When you work hard to understand your boss’s specific goals for the workplace, you are one step closer toward that goal of secretly controlling your boss.

If you are not diligent to support your boss in achieving his specific professional goals, you will be viewed as an obstacle to his success. Find ways to help your boss achieve those goals. For example, if your boss wants to catch the attention of upper management by increasing the sales volume in your department, do your part to make that happen. You can seek out a position as team leader for your department in order to encourage team members to increase sales and reach the records that your boss is trying to achieve. However, you first need to ensure that your own personal sales record is increasing if you hope to gain the appointment of team leader. Additionally, since your boss wants to increase workplace productivity, it is also important to excel in your daily job regardless of the position you hold. When you can work to your optimal potential each day, your efforts will automatically increase workplace productivity. Accept each assignment from your boss with the full intention of doing your best.

3. Become a Problem Solver

In continuing your mission of secretly controlling your boss, you need to become a problem solver, not a trouble maker. There will always be issues in the workplace that you need to deal with. Some you’ll be able to handle and others you’ll need to speak to your boss about. However, you’re never going to secretly control your boss if you constantly come to him with problems, rather than solutions. Your boss is busy. Remember, he’s trying to successfully manage the workplace, while accomplishing each goal that has been set. When you come to your boss with solutions to issues, you will be viewed as someone who takes initiative. Any time that you can proactively take action in the workplace, you will increase your chances of secretly influencing your boss’s behavior.

For example, when you’ve been tasked to organize the next lunch and learn for your department and the lead speaker cancels unexpectedly due to an emergency you’re definitely in a pickle. However, in order to continue your mission of secretly controlling your boss, you need to come prepared when you speak with your boss. Don’t come near tears and say that the guest speaker canceled and then have a what are we going to do attitude. You need to scramble to contact other prospective guest speakers who might be available to speak at the event. Show your boss that you have initiative and are proactively trying to fix this problem, rather than throwing it in your boss’s lap to fix.

4. Volunteer for the Unwanted Jobs

Of course, you’re not going to volunteer to clean the toilets. However, when you volunteer for the unwanted jobs in your department, your boss will take notice of you. Anytime that your boss notices you for positive reasons, that’s a good thing. You’re well on your way to accomplishing your mission of secretly controlling your boss. Consider the fact that your boss most likely hates having to assign unwanted tasks to employees because he never knows how someone is going to react to the assignment. Even though it’s your boss’s job to manage the team and assign tasks, he doesn’t want to deal with complainers who don’t want to handle the unwanted jobs.

Willingly volunteering to take on unwanted jobs in your department will demonstrate that you are a team player. Of course, you’re going to have to suck up your pride and do some work that probably won’t be fun. However, it won’t be a thankless job because by accepting such an assignment that no one else wants to take, your boss will appreciate you. Such an unwanted assignment might be something like having to make one hundred phone calls to clients to let them know that due to an emergency the yearly company client social was canceled. You’d need to make sure that somehow you got in contact with every client on that list before the event original start time so that no one comes to a canceled meeting.

See Also: How to Work for a Perfectionist Boss

Don’t think it’s an impossible mission to secretly control your boss. If you can follow the steps discussed in this article, you will increase your chances of secretly influencing your boss. It’s important to first become your boss’s biggest fan. You need to be diligent in understanding your boss’s goals. Become a problem solver, not a trouble maker and take the initiative to volunteer for unwanted jobs.

Have you ever tried to secretly control your boss? How did the process go and were you successful?