No one wants to get dumped. It can be a crushing experience and depending on the kind of relationship you’ve had it can make you downright depressing. If your significant other invited you out to an early morning brunch just to dump you just before going to work, you probably wish you could go back to bed and hide under the covers all day. Even if your significant other dumped you the night before, you’re still going to have a difficult time making it through the next day at work. No time is a good time for a break up. However things can be even more difficult when you need to head to work and you have super puffy eyes and smudged mascara everywhere, or if you’re still wearing the same grungy t-shirt and jeans you wore last night when your girlfriend dumped you.
However, if you don’t have the luxury of taking a personal day or a long weekend, you need to own the situation and drag yourself to work. That takes guts and an ability to quickly dry your tears and try to find the silver lining in the break up. Of course, that may not all happen on the same day when you head back to work. Consider some of the following steps to help you survive being dumped and make it through the work day.
1. Vent Your Frustrations
You must vent your frustrations before you get to work. Whether you need to be dramatic and empty your glass of ice water into your boyfriend’s lap or take the high road and walk away with dignity and then have a good cry in your car. Maybe you need to stay reserved until you get back to your apartment and then scream and shout how you can’t believe your partner dumped you and you know they’ll be sorry for letting you go. If you ever hope to survive the work day and get over this broken relationship, you need to find an effective way to vent your emotional frustrations before you get to the office.
Of course, you may not be able to stop your tears during the day or you might not be able to stop yourself from going over the story again and again with your work buddies. However, allowing yourself to feel the full extent of your negative emotional state before getting to work is the first step to preventing a full-blown dramatic episode that can only embarrass you with your colleagues and possibly get you fired. However, whatever you do, refrain from acting aggressively to your boyfriend or girlfriend. Save that fire for the gym and your next kick boxing class.
2. Call in Reinforcements
Now is the time to call in your reinforcements. Call, text or facebook message all your friends and buddies and let everyone who needs to know, know about your break up. You need help to make it through the work day. Who else is going to help you get yourself presentable for work and make sure you fix your makeup or change into suitable work clothes before heading out the door. You need your reinforcements to start the text messaging chain to make sure you don’t hide under your desk all day or turn into a drama king or queen and storm around the office like an angry hurricane. Just make sure you have at least one rational best friend who makes certain that the drama doesn’t turn into a payback quest like the one on John Tucker Must Die. Sure, you may feel the same way as those characters in the movie.
However, you must remember that you’re supposed to be a professional and that you need to behave like an adult at the office regardless of how you feel each day. Your boss doesn’t really care that you got dumped that morning, unless of course she’s your friend, which is highly unlikely. Use your reinforcements to help you get through the day, stay in line and focus on completing your work even though it may be hard to see your computer through your tears. Your reinforcements can help you vent again later on that night at the bar while watching the Eagles play or helping you eat a pint of ice cream while watching a marathon of chick flicks.
3. Pamper Yourself at Lunch
It is important to get out of the office during your lunch break, whether it is in order to go somewhere by yourself or with some of your work friends. The main point is to pamper yourself and do something that makes you relax and feel comfortable so that you can regroup and go back to finish the work day without breaking down in tears. If you live close to the office, consider going home to relax for your lunch hour. Just make sure you have a friend come with you or have one text you to ensure you don’t get too comfortable having changed into your PJ’s and fluffy slippers, eating chocolate and watching daytime TV.
If you don’t live close to the office, go somewhere with your friends to eat at your favorite Italian restaurant or local café. Order your favorite dish and indulge in sharing your sob story with your friends. Depending on the time, you may even consider pampering yourself with a manicure or pedicure. Of course, your girlfriends need to come along so that you can share every detail of the break up story. You may have left out some horrible detail from your rushed conversation that morning before work. Make sure that you surround yourself with positive friends during this pampering time and not anyone who keeps you focused on participating in negative self-talk or revenge schemes.
4. Survive the Afternoon
The afternoon can be the worst part of the “day of” break up because some of your friends may have gotten busy with their own work as their boss might be breathing down their necks to finish projects by deadlines. Your friends are great, but they have a life too and only you can know exactly how you’re feeling in the moment. If you want to survive the afternoon and finish your work day with dignity, you need to stay focused on your after work venting party. After all, it’s still within the 24 hour period of the first day of the break up and you have every right to milk this drama for all its worth. When you can focus on getting together with your friends again after work, drying your tears and focusing on your work will be easier.
Consider listening to some of your favorite tunes that remind you of happier times. Stay away from melancholy songs that will only send you spiraling back down into despair. You can listen to the sad stuff at night when you cry yourself to sleep. Remember that you’re still at work and need to make it through the rest of the afternoon while behaving in a professional manner. If you can avoid talking to coworkers about work projects, that probably would be a good idea. After all, you don’t want to start breaking down into tears while discussing the budget for the new marketing plan. If you start to get depressed again, send your friend a 911 text and hopefully she’ll be able to respond. Just remember that you’re not alone and that you have great friends surrounding you, even if they aren’t physically with you in the moment of your sadness over the break up.
See Also: How to Deal with a Sexist Boss
Surviving a break up is hard enough without having to go to work the morning of the end of your relationship. Make sure that you take the time to vent before getting to the office. Call in your reinforcements to help you make it through the day as they offer their continual support. Pamper yourself during your lunch break and try to relax. Finally, concentrate on surviving the afternoon by focusing on getting together with your friends after work.
Have you ever had to deal with a break up on the morning before going to work? How did you handle the break up and make it through the work day?