In the first part of TAO BADASS we established that you do not need to be rich, have muscles, have money, a nice car or play sports in order to get the girl of your dreams (or in this case, the girl from your work). We’ve also identified: how to use your own body language and also gauge her body language, how not to kill attraction and the 3 secret tests to look out for which woman use as a filtering system. Part 2 will now look into how to attract woman just by walking, what to say and how to get out of the dreaded “friend zone”.
Ways to attract women, just by walking…
One of the first things a woman will see you do is walking. The way they move and walk can allure you towards them, very much acting as a physical attraction. When you feel this attractive impulse, know that this impulse is the same for woman. The human brain functions on just two major aspects: thought and impulse. The latter is uncontrollable. So all of those feelings you see when she gets up from the chair to grab a coffee, you can make her feel those impulses about you too.
Walking can say a lot about a person’s body language. In busy cities this can sometimes mean crowded environments where we can’t always see what is in front of us, and harbor an internal trepidation related to tripping and the associated public embarrassment. The idea of either being stared at or falling publicly, also affects our bodily consciousness when walking. This is the message we give off to on-lookers; shoulders appear raised, closed and centered, and heads down while looking at the floor taking small short steps.
This is the exact opposite of what you want to do when you walk past her desk. You want her to stare at you as you beam with confidence; your presence should be oozing with charisma.
The new tips on how to walk will not only increase the looks from your office crush, but also outside of work when you’re on the street people will move for you to let you through, and other woman will notice you more too. You can create a psychological “frame” which when seen will be acknowledged by passersby.
Rules to your new walk:
- Do not look at the ground. If you fall, you fall, it’s ok, most people have fallen several times. You are still aware of things on the street even when looking straight; a little practice is all that is necessary. Once you get used to walking with your head at a higher level, ensure you are always at other people’s eye level.
- Wide Long strides: You will need to extend most of your leg while walking, ensure that you are covering more ground and adopt a vigorous direction to your walk. Straight. You will be walking to your destination and nothing will step in your way unless it’s an old lady or being chivalrous.
- Keep your shoulders down and back: but don’t puff your chest out. Studies identify the attributes of animals considered as an ‘attractive mate’ are those who showed signs of symmetry. Eyes, ears, nose, mouth, physique, structure - symmetry is said to be the heart of beauty. Try to keep everything solid and straight without letting your arms stretch out like Jonnie Bravo. Remember when you speak with her, do not present subliminal signs of confrontation by facing her full on with your shoulders and chest.
You can do this at work when you arrive in the morning, or when you’re out with friends in a bar, using your new posture with eye contact and confident body language can make a massive difference to your public magnetism. Attractive people are used to being stared at. This is something you will need to also get used to, and incorporate this into your public presence.
What to say to a girl
If you cannot maintain a conversation, you cannot uphold her interests and unfortunately you cannot be a BADASS. She might have tried to speak to you, you may never have spoken before (which would be great now) although too many times inexperienced gentlemen have blurted out something stupid and lost the communication a woman was originally interested in venturing into.
Over time and experience you can master this, but first, there are a few factors to address.
- Dry conversation: If the conversation dies, do not attempt to face her with your body in a forceful attempt to be noticed, this gesture alone will have her thinking you want her too much. When she backs off your body language will chase her. Which then affects your nerves, and slowly the whole event becomes a mess. Instead, if the conversation runs dry, she may turn and give you a frown or funny look as she leans back. Lean back too, give her the funny look and make a joke. Make it light. You may feel as though you’re back to square one but all is not lost. Make her laugh, play a game - say that you will point at each guy in the office or bar and ask her if she would kiss or slap them? Appear astounded at her answers playing on her funny bone as there’s a high chance she will laugh with you. Tell her there’s a simple game of "hand eye coordination", ask her to put both hands together and to go up and over your two hands in front of hers, then say she needs to continue with her eyes closed. When she can’t see, take your hands away and as she opens her eyes realising she’s in a bar doing this alone looking rather strange, she will laugh at herself and the situation, here’s your opening to laugh together - 96% of women find this hilarious if done correctly. That’s 96 out of 100 women.
- Non-threatening conversations: Completely refrain from using pick up lines insinuating sex. Refrain from doing anything which is not in line with your personal character, and ask authentic questions without showcasing a hidden agenda; you may be thinking about certain scenarios with her as per your natural impulses, control this it’s just your instincts. When you manage to get that time alone with her, maybe when everyone else has left the office, make her feel secure and safe being with you. Establish a humorous and light connection, once secured, light touching of the hand in an affectionate way can be a great step forward. Find out about her personally; speak about yourself when discussing things you have in common, the more you know about her the better the personalised connection.
- Compliments: Refer to her as cute or sweet as this is vocabulary used to portray someone who is achievable when considering either classification or a “league”, when you say she’s “super-hot” she has then been placed on a pedestal, a sorting which you just implied is beyond your grasp. You are also then implying that you’re not used to being around beautiful women, probably unable to socialise with them, can’t spend time with outgoing girls – undesirable - congratulations you’ve been funneled out.
- Active-listening: Sometimes the best form of communicating is better when you take note to her likes and dislikes; actively listening is being smart in your positioned response and suggested topics. Sometimes if you feel like jumping in on the conversation about work, don’t - let her finish it’s basic manners. This is giving you the opportunity to allow her to do the speaking, to which she is engaging herself, you merely need to sit there, smile and absorb the relevant information to use in your next or future topics of discussion.
- Personal problems: If a discussion comes into play to which she’s addressed a personal problem, she’s opening up to you. Any experiences she encounters which take her away from her personal problems, is a place she will want to revisit, that place is with you. Be caring and considerate, listen to her and respond when you feel she is looking for comfort. Make light again of something should the conversation turn heavy, make her smile and play a funny game or mention the way her manager looked dancing at the Christmas party.
Now it’s time for the big one. What do you say to stop her if you saw her out of work just walking somewhere, or if you saw someone else you liked on the street? What do you say?
According to Joshua Pellicer, the best idea is to instigate content free conversation - this is known as “banter”. A topic or statement which holds little real substance; the exact words which work well for him are: (turning away from but maintaining eye contact with a smile) “you’re trouble”. With the right attitude and body language this can be extremely powerful, provided it is said and done in the right way. Continue the conversation as you see fit.
The friend zone can be something which you learn to control very easily, the problem is many men don’t know how to. If she or her colleagues consider you to be in this “zone”, this is something you can overcome. However, you’re on the road to being a BADASS, should you have reached the “zone” prior to your new awakening, you are forgiven.
As humans we use our astonishingly talented subconscious minds to judge people very quickly, for some girls this can be to the extent of whether you’re the kind of man who introduces himself to people openly/quickly, talks a lot, would buy her a drink, and actually if you would be someone to introduce to her mother. Factors such as these help create the “zone”. Now we know what it is, how it is manufactured and what helped initiate it. So how do we knock it down?
If you’re at work and speaking in the kitchen or just over the desk, and she referrers to you as a “good friend” or "I’m glad you’re around” – then you may be entering the companion precinct.
You can rectify this, but there is only one way to do this and the risks are high as it may lose you the friendship.
A concept referred to as a “touch gap” can close this barrier, picture when you first met at work. You may have hit it off like wildfire, or there may have been a crack in the ground between you. To explain the “touch gap” more clearly - when you do not include the “touch gap” in your relationship at work, the crack becomes a crevice which later you need to run and jump over, then it’s a canyon, then it’s an ocean you cannot swim.
Culture plays a role. The French and Italian have grown accustom to touching in daily routine more so than the rest of the world. The French and the Italians are known to be very successful with American women. So much so that some woman have been known to allow further touching of the physical body just on the knowledge that they are indeed from these countries. This has also led to further intimacy.
You do not need to be French or Italian to instigate your “touch gap”. The first rule is that you will not appear to initiate the “touch gap” to her colleagues, this is exclusively for her.
So now you will begin to use the “touch gap” to breach the “zone”, you need to ask yourself two major questions to self asses your new skill.
How do you know you’re doing it well?
What happens if you do it wrong?
To address these directly there is one answer; touch escalation will only work if you touch with the proper mentality, at the proper time.
Regardless of how you are at work now, you will revert back to the preliminary three stages:
- During attraction, you must have the mentality of a boy
- During rapport, you must have the mentality of a friend
- During seduction, you must have the mentality of a man
(This is your new 3 step policy to all newly met women.)
Playfulness will begin again as you reset the clock. You shall apply less emphasis on the rapport stage. And you will maximise on your stages of seduction using the touch gap in stages one, two and three.
Do not fall into the uneducated trend which leads many men to failure by jumping from attraction to seduction.
What physically happens when you start? You must be gentle with the preliminary touches, soft and delicate. This should be friendly, playful and boy-like as she does not know if she can trust you with this, it’s new. Do not move too quickly. She needs to feel safe with you in order to escalate this. The final reminder is to remove the touch after 2-3 seconds. Do not linger, everyone at work will label you as “Mr. Creepy”.
Click here for Part 3 where we look at how to never get cheated on, how to get the first kiss and how to get a phone number. Hope you didn’t miss the first part, if you did click here to recap Part 1.
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