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The Creatives’ Boot-Camp For The Corporate World

The cut-throat, fast paced corporate world is no place for the soft spoken, sensitive creative or the rough neck scotch drinking, cigarette smoking creative. Creative individuals appreciate their freedom, in actions, creation and attire while the corporate world can create frictions, anxiety and restrict the creative process. Well suck it up hippie: a paycheck is a paycheck, you’re going to boot-camp.

The world is a cruel unforgiving place, stop crying and punch it in the face

As a creative you’re adaptable, you take a random line on a blank surface and you create an entire drawing, you make that flat musical note part of your composition, you restructure that entire chapter because it didn’t fit your narrative. When your that resilient with your own work why can’t with someone else’s? Tell me maggot! Drop and give me twenty Italian Arias on the double!

You’re a problem solver and that’s exactly what the world needs!

Stop sobbing! The world is a boiling, belching cesspool of problems and you take a blank piece of paper and make it something. Don’t tell me you can’t do anything else. You are an expert problem solver, think creatively! Now give me thirty Jumping Jacks-on Pollocks!

You act like an introvert but you’re not!

You have people skills even though you don’t think you do. EVERYONE says something stupid from time to time and what makes you think you’re special?! Stop your sniveling and start shaking some hands!!!

You’re not the only one that doesn’t know what they’re doing!

Oh look at me I’m a poor pitiful painter and I don’t know anything else. That’s what training is for maggot! You’re going to kick your heals up, dig in and learn something new and you’re going to like it! Or I’m going to make you run fifty laps around the Louvre!!!

There ARE creative jobs in the corporate world

Just because your pea-brain can’t comprehend that not everything in the corporate world is accounts, numbers, brokerage and mergers. THERE ARE CREATIVE JOBS! Now go out and look for them before I kick you in the behind!

You will be able to wake up

 I know all you hippy dippy artists, writers and musicians love the night. Guess what you stinking bag of manure, you’ll have more night if you work during the day but I’m sure that didn’t register in your little bird brain.

You don’t have to stop creating!

 No one is going to tell you: “Well you can’t create anymore because you have a real job now!” and if they do, tell them they’re full of it! You can still create just get your butt off the couch! Paint, compose, write and play you’ll just have to manage your time a bit better, but deal with it we can’t always what to do!!!

Are you a creative? Then get your butt in gear you maggot and comment below if I left anything out; this isn’t a democracy but I’ll let you have a word!

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