Top 10 Funniest Job Vacancies Ever Advertised

secretary dirty sexy

Job vacancies are usually professionally written, and are designed to represent the company’s image. However, sometimes, there are some vacancies that make jobseekers smile. From professional time travelers, to ugly dancers, and surgeons without experience, and the list goes on. Below you will find some hilarious, shocking, and weird job openings ever advertised in newspapers and on the internet. Some recruiters are actually serious about the advert, while others simply want to test the determination of the prospective employee. A few of these bizarre and surreal jobs might look funny, however, some of the recruiters are only thinking about business. 

See also: Top 10 Funniest Recruitment Videos

1. Time traveller wanted

big bang theory time travelearnthis

An advert placed in a local newspaper is looking for time travelers with experience. Surely, the person who is searching for the services must be a SciFi fan. He might have actually contacted Hiro from Heroes to do the job, but he decided that there must be someone who can take him back to the past. Interestingly, he also states that the person needs to bring his own weapons, and will only get paid once he has safely delivered the boss back to the present. Unfortunately, the applicant’s safety is not guaranteed, and the recruiter has limited experience: he has only done it once. It would be interesting to see if he got any responses. He might have simply wanted to resit his college entry exams, or replay that baseball match. We will never find out.

2. Minions wanted for sacrifice

minions orlandoredom

We are seriously not sure about the person who placed the ad, whether or not they are seeking real Minions or just people to use for their evil games. Interestingly, the advert is printed on a large paper, and has a free phone number to call. Wondering if anyone managed to speak to the "evil genius" himself, and what the "close to no pay" is like. The only benefit that makes it worth considering the job is possibly the Minion costumes, as they are quite pricey. The recruiter certainly has a sense of humor, though, calling himself a fascist psychopath. Still, it is likely that he made a few enemies, given the huge number of minion fans out there. 

3. Surgeon without experience

mr bean as doctordailymotion

Not sure if the new health clinic ever opened after placing this advert. They are seeking surgeons without experience and with their own tools. Certainly, there are no qualifications needed for operating on people, and if you can make the right impression, look like a surgeon, have the tools of one, and can sing while cutting up people, you can be a part of this excellent start-up. The recruiters will be happy, if you look professional, but whether patients would turn up or not, is a mystery. 

4. High expectations for work morale

Couch Potatomirror

Replacing lazy people is not hard, but the above ad doesn’t tell the reader anything about what needs to be done. Of course, applicants would get paid weekly, and can be proud of doing lazy people’s job in a more energetic way. Other than that, it seems like this recruitment ad is more like a billboard for a "lazy people" to start moving before they would be replaced. As there is a phone number under the small ad, it would be interesting to know what happens when somebody is ready to get started in this entry level position. 

5. Hay chewer

woody harrelson chew hayistoica

This might be one of the weirdest ads ever placed on a paper. First of all, horses’ teeth are much stronger than humans’. This means that there will be a limited number of applicants who will qualify. Taking away the number of people who actually dislike the taste of hay, the recruiter’s options are clearly limited. However, there is another option: the person can also grind the hay for the poor horse with bad teeth. The question is why isn’t the advertiser investing in a grinder instead, and give the processed hay to the animal?  That way, creating a new role of "hay chewer" would be unnecessary.

6. Serving burgers and not p*ssing customers off

falling down burger serving issueyoutube

This job seems to be easy enough for starters. The burger house is in need of more meat working shifts. The job basically consists of turning up for work on time, taking customers’ money, and not making them angry. Sounds like a good deal. The manager at Murder Burgers certainly has a sense of humor, and gives the reader some useless information about bats. Not sure that serving burgers is a job for everyone, but a boss like Gary would certainly make the shifts more enjoyable. It would certainly be worth applying just to meet him in person. 

7. Burrito taster

burrito tester eating contestpancheros

A full page ad placed in a newspaper says that you can earn a jillion Buckaroos by becoming a Burrito taster. Sounds like a deal. The recruitment advertising also states that you can get a free diploma and a whole year’s supply of napkins. Sounds even better. Clearly, the above ad is a cleverly written sales copy. A clearly creative way, to use the testimonials and sell the product. Not much of a job, but entertaining and satisfying for sure. 

8. Secretary job

secretary dirty sexylistverse

After posting this ad, the company became a target of practical jokes. Whoever thought that the most important talent of a secretary was bending over in tight mini skirts must have made a mistake. While the advert was more outraging than funny, the reaction of the people on social media was hilarious. The Huffington Post quotes the full text of the advert. The job pays £35K, and stockings are optional. Again, no description of the role, apart from taking up sexy positions. The Guardian quoted one of the comments on social media: “Maybe she’s looking in the bottom drawer for the sexual-harassment forms?”

9. Male sex toy tester

Flesh Lightboozeworthy

Yes, this job actually exists. According to the Mirror, there is a demand for testing the "guybrator", created by the advertiser. The recruiter offers a "buzz" for employees, and an enjoyable work environment. Hard to argue with that. The role is "orgasm engineer", and the product is created by the British Hot Octopuss firm. No salary is specified, however, the benefits are many. For example, employees can work from anywhere they want, apart from public places, of course. They will also get a lifetime supply of tissues. 

10. Just sit in the bath for a buck

Noodle bathimgur

This ad was featured on the Telegraph website, as one of the weirdest and funniest job classified ads on Craigslist. The guy (or maybe woman) is looking for a woman to sit in their bathtub full of noodles in a swimming costume. The upside is that he is not looking for a bikini model, they settle with a one piece bathing suit. First, one would think that the person wants to take a photo or paint the woman, but no. They will just leave the key, will not even be home. No sauce is needed, he would take care of that, too. 

It is recommended that jobseekers check the sanity of the recruiter before they would apply for a job. Some of these ads are plain funny, however, others are simply insane. While companies are trying everything to make their recruitment ads stand out, they sometimes go too far. The sad thing is that the majority of people are serious about the position, and are really looking for a hay chewer or a woman in a bathtub. All we can say is: always screen your potential employers.