Top 10 Imaginary Jobs that Should Have Been Real

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Ask a child what they want to be when they grow up, and you’ll get many different answers: a policeman, firefighter, doctor, prime minister, astronaut, ballerina… the list is truly endless. Many children do, in fact, end up pursuing their childhood dream jobs or at least pursuing a career that is related to their original dream jobs.

But if your dream didn’t exactly pan out and you’re currently at a crossroads as to what to do next, look no further than these 10 awesome imaginary jobs. They aren’t real, of course, but they really should be.

10. Supernatural hunter

supernatural tv showEntertainment Weekly

Sometimes, watching TV shows makes you wish you had pursued the same professions that your favourite characters hold: a doctor like Meredith Grey in Grey’s Anatomy, for example, or a PI like Sherlock Holmes. Or perhaps captain of the starship Enterprise in Star Trek or a Hunter like brothers Sam and Dean Winchester in Supernatural.

Yup, hunting down the supernatural and saving people from monsters, demons, ghosts and what not sounds like a ball of fun. Although you won’t get paid for your hunting services, you’ll be able to earn your living through credit card fraud, pool hustling and poker winnings.

Closest thing: Paranormal hunters (mostly mediums and ghost hunters who use Ouija boards to communicate with the dead on TV)

9. Professional holidaymaker

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What does every worker in the world have in common? They dream of travelling the world and never having to work another day in their lives again, all while building a little fortune for themselves by doing absolutely nothing.

Just think: how awesome would it be if there was a job that was actually an all-expenses paid holiday around the world for your entire working life? You could visit the Eiffel Tower in Paris, dine at the most expensive restaurant in the world (Sublimotion in Ibiza, which costs about £1,200 a head for a 20-course meal), take a gondola ride in Venice and lounge around in the sun in the Bahamas, and get paid for it.

Closest thing: Travel writers, tour guides, destination wedding photographers and TEFL/TESL teachers. Also, Monica Lynn (the woman who apparently travels the world for free by getting men she meets online to fund her trips).

8. Problem solver

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If family and friends always turn to you with their problems (big and small, ranging from cheating spouses to irrational bosses), then you might want to think about making a living out of it.

As a professional problem solver, you’ll be responsible for listening to people and providing solutions for their problems. The best part is that your services will come with a disclaimer which will basically release you from any and all responsibility of the advice that you give. Meaning, if the solution you provide doesn’t work, you’ll still get paid for it, and your client will most likely return for further advice.

Closest thing: Mediators and psychotherapists. Also: hired killers. (What? They solve ‘problems,’ too, don’t they?)

7. Dog lover

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Are you one of those people who go to parties and prefer sitting in a corner playing with dogs rather than interacting with people? Well, what if you could get paid to do just that? You know, just playing with and generally loving pooches all day long – sounds like quite the dream job.

As a dog lover, you’ll spend your days cuddling dogs of all sizes, and the only job requirement is that you must love dogs.

This made-up profession can also be tweaked for cat lovers, too (although too much love may result in a scratch or two).

Closest thing: Dog walkers, cat/dog groomers, animal trainers and pet sitters.

6. Movie enthusiast

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If you can recite entire movie scripts (like this Mean Girls fanatic – in under 30 minutes, no less!) and you’ve got a lifetime pass at your local cinema, you’re probably meant to follow the career path of movie enthusiast.

In this exciting profession, you’ll be responsible for watching movies all day long from the comfort of your couch. Benefits include a lifetime supply of popcorn and a library of every single movie ever released in the world, plus exclusive previews of all upcoming blockbusters as well as free movie merchandise.

Closest thing: Movie reviewers/critics, actors and directors.

5. Time traveller

back to the futureGizmodo

While time travel might not be real (or scientifically possible), at least for the time being), that doesn’t mean your imagination can’t run free.

We’ve all wished we could turn back the hands of time and change certain (embarrassing) things, and as a time traveller you will be able to do just that and more. Like prevent Hitler from being born (which would involve travelling back to around 1889 with a pack of condoms for his parents).

You could go further back than that, too, back to when dinosaurs roamed the Earth, or even travel to the future and return to the present to report if humans really do coexist with aliens (as imagined in various sci-fi movies).

Closest thing: Dr Who and Emmet ‘Doc’ Brown.

4. Professional gym goer

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If you spend most of your waking hours at the gym, this (albeit fake) job is for you! Not only will you enjoy the many benefits associated with regular exercise, including weight control, reducing your risk of a variety of medical conditions and boosting your energy, but you’ll also be able to get a six-pack for a living.

Job requirements would include bench pressing, squatting, deadlifting, pull-ups and push-ups – nothing you’re not already used to. The only difference is that, instead of paying £50 to £60 in monthly gym membership fees (or £100 or more if you choose a swanky gym), you’ll be paid to lift weights and burn the calories (every food lover’s worst enemy).

Closest thing: Personal trainers and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

3. Professional eater

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Speaking of food, if your life hero is potty-mouthed chef and restaurateur Gordon Ramsay and you enjoy eating, well, anything and everything, becoming a professional eater sounds like an ideal career path for you.

As a professional eater, you’ll be responsible for eating the best gourmet food in the world. Perks include your employer settling the bill for your every meal and maybe also gym membership to keep that food-loving body of yours toned.

Closest thing: Food tasters (professionals who are responsible for tasting everything from ice cream to pet food) and competitive food eaters.

2. Disney prince/princess

Cinderella at DisneylandWikimedia Commons

Sure, you could get a job at Disneyland as a Disney prince/princess, but that would mean having to interact with children that often kick, spit and throw up (adults, too, sometimes) on a daily basis – something that tends to ruin the whole ‘Happiest Place on Earth’ image. And it’s a job where you only pretend to be a Disney prince/princess.

But what if there was some magical job you could apply for and become a real Disney prince/princess? Job requirements would include having good looks, being naturally charming, having a great singing voice (think Céline Dion or Elton John) and living happily ever after.

Closest thing: Marry into royalty – just look at Kate Middleton (now the Duchess of Cambridge) and former personal trainer Olof Daniel Westling (now known as Prince Daniel of Sweden).

1. Spa and massage consultant

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Do you spend every other day at the spa, and do your friends always come to you for advice about the best massage and beauty treatments around? Then how about you become a spa and massage consultant?

You’ll be responsible for advising people about a variety of pampering treatments and get paid for it. And you’ll also have to try out all these treatments yourself so that you’re better able to do your job. Essential skills include an in-depth knowledge of spa and massage treatments, and as for benefits, you’ll have great skin and hair.

Closest thing: Rich people who employ personal massage therapists.

We know that these are not real jobs, but it would’ve been kind of cool if they were, don’t you think?

Did we leave out any imaginary jobs you think deserve a place on this list? Let us know in the comments section below – and while you’re at it tell us what’s your dream imaginary job!


This article was originally published in May 2015.