Top 20 Awesome Water Cooler Conversation Topics

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Around the water cooler, you and a couple of your colleagues waste time by talking about random things. In order to avoid heading back to your seat, you come up with the first newsworthy or even nonsensical item that comes to your mind. Heck, you even go into a ten minute diatribe about the weather. The weather? Out of all that’s going on in the world, you’re talking about the weather? Meh. At least it beats working. 

Indeed, most water cooler conversation topics are usually about the latest episode of a hit television show or the final touchdown of an NFL game. But aren’t there better conversation topics around? Oh, yes there are! They may be unconventional, but they are awesome and will immediately incite fierce debate. Perhaps your boss would get in on the fun. 

The best kinds of conversation topics are ones that do not require a tremendous amount of knowledge or create furious rage by participants. They simply ignite the exchanging of ideas, not chair shots to the head. They allow colleagues to provide their takes on the world and beyond, not insults to one another. Nor politics, nor religion, nor the weather are the best types of conversation topics. Just what are they then? Well, here are the top twenty awesome water cooler conversation topics:

1. Are we alone in the universe?

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The idea of extra-terrestrials has fascinated us for eons. The concept of another intelligent species living in this galaxy or universe (or multiverse) is one that has stimulated our imaginations. Everyone has some sort of idea on the subject. Some say there are aliens that want to avoid us completely, others don’t think aliens exist. Some say we’ll soon make contact with aliens, others say we shouldn’t. 

Whatever the case, this is certainly one of the best conversations to have around the water cooler. It’s something different and out of the ordinary, and everyone can provide their take on the topic.

2. What is the best type of sex to have?

Although sex falls into the same camp of politics and religion, it’s not so much sex that can be a conversation topic but the kind of sex. For instance, what’s the better type of intercourse: the makeup sex or conjugal visit sex? One doesn’t need to go into vivid details, but reasons why makeup is better than conjugal, or vice versa, are interesting. 

3. What famous person would you want to be with in the afterlife?

If there is a heaven when we die, then chances are there are all of these cool and interesting people from the past. Francois Voltaire and Humphrey Bogart, Bette Davis and Edith Piaf, are just some of the iconic personalities from our history. Now, given that you’re in heaven and you can schmooze with some of these people, who would you want to be with? Is there a certain historical figure that you would want to spend time with? Who? Why? 

4. What's the last thing you'll think of before you die?

Supposedly, your life flashes before your eyes the moment prior to your death. Who knows if this is true or not? But if it is, what do you think will be the final thought you’ll have before you perish? Your family? Your one true love? A cup of coffee and a slice of cheesecake? Nothing at all? 

5. Do you ever sing in the shower?

We all have our guilty pleasures, and sometimes they’re just downright embarrassing. One of these could be singing in the shower. If there is one thing we all share in common it’s definitely singing in the shower. For whatever reason, we decide to bellow out lyrics from our favorite music, whether it’s "You Brought a New Kind of Love to me" or "Three Little Maids From School." 

6. Is the top button worthless?

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Ostensibly, some men will present the case that the top button is a worthless button on any dress shirt. Others will point out how it could make or break the shirt. Where do you fall on this issue? Is the first button crucial or is the second button far more important? It’s a first-world problem indeed, but still worthy of water cooler talk. 

7. If you were a wrestler, what would your gimmick be?

As millennials, professional wrestling was a big part of our childhood. If you were eight years old in the 1980s then your guy was Hulk Hogan. If you were 10 years old in the 1990s then your guys were "Stone Cold" Steve Austin and The Rock. Nowadays, we millennials are indifferent towards World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) and pro wrestling in general. But if you were a wrestler, what would your gimmick be? You can’t be a garbage man, IRS agent or a demon. They’re all taken. 

8. Who is 'spongeworthy'?

For whatever reason, there is only one condom, birth control pill or sponge left in the world for each person. You don’t want children. This means, the next person you go to bed with will have to be very special. Who would you consider to be "spongeworthy"? 

9. How come dentists talk to you when you can't respond?

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The last time you visited the dentist or hygienist, did you notice that they were trying to have a conversation with you while you couldn’t make coherent conversation? Why do they do this? Is it to torture us all? Who knows what the reason is? They just do it. You can debate the merits as to why. 

10. Why do we look for 'lost' items in the freezer?

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We’re about to leave the house, but we can’t seem to find our keys. We start to search our home frantically. We’ve checked everywhere but to no avail: our coat pockets, the drawers, bags...and the freezer. Why do we always tend to search in the freezer for stuff we can’t find? What’s worse is when we look in the freezer twice!

11. Do you still say 'sells like hot cakes'?

"Sells like hot cakes" is one of the strangest expressions in the English language today. It just doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. Do people even order hot cakes at a restaurant anymore? Plus, there’s a lot more things that sell much better than hot cakes: iPhones, Justin Bieber albums, eggs and any film starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. So why do we still say it "sells like hot cakes"? 

12. What's the greatest thing since sliced bread?

What is the greatest thing since sliced bread? Much like the "sells like hot cakes" expression, we usually refer to products we enjoy as being the best thing since sliced bread. So, just what is the best thing since sliced bread? You and your colleagues decide. 

13. If you were reincarnated, what would you want to be?

Everyone has their own opinion as to what happens when we die. But let’s say that we’re get to reincarnate, what would you want to be? An animal? A successful playwright? An astronaut? What would it be? 

Just don’t say the butterfly! If you’re a "Simpsons" fan then you’ll know why.

14. If you could be a cast member of any show, what would it be?

Over the years, the idiot box, err, television has provided us with superb shows, in the realm of both comedy and drama. From "Dragnet" to "Law and Order," from "I Love Lucy" to "Seinfeld," there have been gems showcased on the boob tube. But if you could be a cast member of any television show, what would it be? In the 1990s, the obvious answers would be "Friends" and "Seinfeld." Today, there’s a greater variety so you pick one. 

15. What's better: chess or checkers?

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Chess is a thinking man’s game. Checkers is something to kill time. Which one do you think is better? 

16. Would you want to be lucky or a genius?

There’s an old saying from legendary New York Yankee, "I’d rather be lucky than good." Well, in this instance, the question is: would you prefer to be lucky or a genius? It’s an interesting scenario. A lucky person can get anything he or she wants. A genius can know anything, do anything and ultimately land in the same spot as a lucky person. 

17. What societal custom would you change?

If there would be one societal custom you would change, what would it be? Here is just a tiny bit: dinner for breakfast and vice versa; wearing track pants to the opera. What would be one thing you’d change? 

18. If you had an everyday theme song, what would it be?

Imagine that there would be a theme song for everywhere you went, like some old 1970s television show. When you’re riding on the bus, going to the grocery store or heading to the office, there’s a theme song dedicated just for you. If that could be true, what theme song would you have? 

19. Name the top three pick-up lines

Pick-up lines are degrading and have become a joke in modern times. Most are garbage, but there are some real gems. Who could forget about "Night at the Roxbury"? "Is that a mirror in your pocket because I can see myself in your pants" or "Just like I thought: made in heaven." The water cooler can rank the top pick-up lines to date. 

20. What's worse: picking your nose or flatulating?

Finally, there are two hideous and grotesque things we humans are guilty of: picking our noses and/or releasing some farts. Both are necessary at times. But what do you think is worse? Is one better than the other? One may be gross, but the other smells bad.

There are numerous things to talk about around the water cooler. But some of the stuff that guys and gals at the office discuss can be downright boring and tedious. How often can people talk about a sports game? Isn’t it boring to constantly talk about a television show? These conversation topics will definitely liven up the conversation a little bit! 

What are some of the best water cooler conversation topics you have? Let us know in the comments section below.