There are good movies, bad movies, boring movies, funny movies and, of course, terrible movies. The difference between a bad movie and a terrible movie is that a bad movie fails to deliver some of its points adequately, whereas a terrible movie makes you regret the time you spent watching it.
What’s worst though, a bad movie often goes unnoticed, whereas a terrible movie is so lousy that it actually becomes famous, and people watch it to witness the cinematic disaster themselves. This is the reason why there is no such thing as bad publicity. Let’s see some of these money making disasters, shall we?
5. Click - $137 Million
This comedy, or let’s say wanna be comedy, became popular as soon as it came out. Click is one of Adam Sandler’s classics – he finds a device that can control time and uses it to goof around. When he is finished having fun, he realizes he has wasted his life, and tries to make a life lesson out of it. This movie was so predictable from the very beginning. Nothing special, nothing new, just Adam Sandler making weird faces and acting in his own way, just like in every other movie.
It kind of makes sense though, when you write a script for a movie like this, you don’t have too many options when it comes to the lead role. Click was so ridiculous that even Nicolas Cage wouldn’t have wanted to accept the role and this is a man who literally can’t say no to a movie.
4. The Last Airbender - $131 Million
I grew up watching Avatar: The Last Airbender, and then all of a sudden M. Night Shyamalan decides to tarnish my childhood memories with his version of The Last Airbender. We all had high expectations, and were hoping to spend 100 minutes of quality screen time watching this masterpiece. However, it turned out to be nonsense. The storyline moves too fast, and anyone who hasn’t watched the cartoon series would probably be confused, because they missed out so many parts of the story. The characters were just awful, as they sound like they’re reading the text from cards.
All in all, although this movie should have been a masterpiece and fun, it was a boring piece of nonsense even by kids’ standards, and anyone who saw the cartoon will be amazed that a story so brilliant could suck so much as a movie script. Way to go Shyamalan, as the popular internet meme goes – “Right in the childhood!”
3. Spider-Man 3 (2007) - $336.5 Million
Regardless of the fact that this movie managed to survive Tobey Maguire as Peter Parker, Spider-Man 3 was indeed a coup de grace to this franchise. This movie was so bad that it can only be explained if we assume that some of the directors don’t like Spider-Man, and probably wished to direct some other superhero blockbuster.
Let’s not be so critical about this one, because out of all the films on this list, this might be the only one which has a story, and great effects –remember the awesome Sandman birth moment? Okay, so 5 minutes of great effects. And there’s a basically ok storyline but the film just rushes to tell us everything and it seems like we are watching a very long trailer, and not a movie. Venom isn’t explained, and when he appears for 15 minutes, nothing happens. And don’t get me started on Sandman.
Also, have you noticed how every movie in this trilogy involves Peter Parker struggling with his powers, breaking up with Mary Jane and facing a villain who ends up killing himself? Plus, Peter’s dark side is really funny and comedy-like, but it shouldn’t have been. Sorry Spidey, but you failed us.
As for the people who went to watch this trilogy - congratulations, you paid money to see the same movie not once, not twice, but three times.
2. Twilight: New Moon - $290 Million
Oh, my god look at all those millions, how is this even possible? Well, I think I know how. Twilight has a vast fan base, but still, over $290 million for one movie is a lot of money, which brings us to the same conclusion: When a movie is so terrible, people get curious, plus those who want to tarnish it want to see what they are tarnishing, and others who are neutral just want to know what the big deal is.
If you are Twilight fan, this movie was probably good for you, because you wanted to see your favorite book on big screen. But if you think a bit, and read that book again, you’ll realize that the characters are nothing like in the book. If you want to watch a good adaptation of a book, watch Harry Potter.
If you hate Twilight, or you just don’t care about it and you only went to theatre to get entertained I bet you regretted the minute you did. Twilight saga is just so boring and what with destroying myths like it does, why would you ever watch more movies out of the series.
Still, this is a lot of cash for a cliché teen love story, which story description is: “A teenage girl risks everything when she falls in love with a vampire.” So, as long as this sort of bad writing remains overpaid, you can be sure we’ll see a lot of similar things for a long time.
1. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen- $402 Million
I don’t know what inspired the Transformers franchise, but it only looks like Michael Bay saw Fast and Furious and thought that it would be cool if the cars in the movies were transformers. Personally, I think it was a genius move, since both testosterone junkies and geeks can enjoy the movie, but this particular Transformers movie was really terrible. Other Transformers movies aren’t so bad, you might even say that there are kind of funny at moments and have interesting CGI, but this one was that point in movies series when director says “Let’s stop filming this. It’s enough. We’re not James Bond.”
This Transformers movie is basically all about cars and explosions with something that resembles a plot lurking in the background. Effects are spectacular, but there are a lot of holes in the story that even a fan couldn’t say who’s who, and why something is happening. And the worst part is that it lasts for 2 hours and 30 minutes. So you have plenty of time to watch effects, hating the directors for ruining a beloved cartoon and swearing a lot.
Sure we all love to waste time and money every now and then, but until you pay to see these movies you really haven’t truly wasted either of those things. After these films, you cannot but ask yourself whether someone is joking or just testing your IQ.
Not every movie needs to be moving or truly profound and deep in order to be good, but directing and performance should match the movie standards. No one expects to be blown away, but is being entertained too much to ask?