You’ve been working hard at your job for five years, coiling in the monotony of the 9 to 5 lifestyle while losing sleep getting deadlines in. Fortunately, there’s an advertisement for a promotion coming up at the office. Finally! This is your chance to finally move on up the corporate, receive higher pay and grab that brass ring.
Unfortunately, the boss’s nephew, who was just hired nine months ago, was given the position. Uh huh...
How could they? This was your promotion. You’ve worked day in and day out. Everything you’ve achieved up to this point has all been because of your hard work, determination and adeptness. All of a sudden, nepotism shows its ugly head and no longer will you be given the promotion you were sure you’d get.
There’s nothing you can do about it. Or is there? Think. What can you do? This isn’t "Swimming with the Sharks" so kidnapping and potentially murder are certainly out of the question. Poison? No, that’s the same thing as murder. What about laxatives? No, that’s too cruel.
It’s time to stroke your beard and return to your lair and come up with ways to exact revenge on that colleague who stole your promotion. Indeed, you shouldn’t necessarily do something nefarious or illegal, but perhaps there are other types of revenge tactics to get even. Remember, you’ve worked hard, while this person was just handed something. Bah!
Here are the top eight ways to get revenge on the co-worker who stole your promotion:
1. The Wonders of Passive Aggressive Behavior
Being on the receiving end of passive aggressive behavior is very frustrating. We don’t know why it’s worse than being punched in the face, but it just is. Perhaps it’s because it’s not identifiable, it’s maybe immature or they don’t know what they did wrong. But if that’s the objective then perhaps this is the best course to take upon seeking revenge.
Here are few ways to be passive aggressive to the co-worker who stole your promotion:
- Block them on social media - Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn.
- Ignore them whenever you see them in person. Do a casual wave or hello and that’s it.
- During conversations, do not make any eye contact with the individual.
- Ensure they are not part of any water cooler talk (have your back to them).
- Send a sarcastic note: "I was really hoping to get that promotion, but I’m glad you got it. Congratulations. I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors."
It’s all about the little things, and passive aggressive embraces the little touches there and there.
2. Never Help When Help is Needed
Have you noticed that this person is just swamped with work? Is it easy to surmise that they need help? Well, that’s why they got promoted: to get work done with their astute mind and dedication. Don’t help them. Better yet, when you see them shuffling papers around and writing stuff down, ask them for help, advice or any ideas on a project you’re working on! Remember, it’s their responsibility to supervise and guide you since they were given the promotion and not you.
3. Undermine Their Leadership, Efforts
Undermining their leadership skills and professional efforts, particularly in public, will hurt their ego tremendously. In order to undermine this promoted individual, you have to establish a situation where the person appears to be disorganized, uncoordinated, nervous or just has zero clue as to what they’re doing. This may be hard to accomplish because you don’t understand their weakness or patterns, but once you find out then take advantage of it.
For instance, if this person likes to talk about their accomplishments then take over the conversation and never let them speak. Or, if they talk about how everyone has to improve their office behavior, then point out the mistakes they have made in the past. This will make them embarrassed. Boy, their face will be very, very red. Even more than Donald Trump when confronted by Carly Fiorina!
4. Beat Them at the Job
Do you want to show the powers at be that they made the wrong decision in promoting the boss’s nephew or someone who is full of sloth and ignorance? Well, one of the best ways to do this is to beat them at the job. If you were doing a great job these past five years then be sure to put it into high gear and accelerate your aptitude.
Here are a few ways you can do this:
- Come to the office early and leave the office late.
- Think ahead: always be five moves ahead of this person.
- When they’re running behind, take over and manage the team.
- Take on other responsibilities; multi-task if you can.
5. Creepy Celebratory Kindness
The day after that person has been promoted, be very kind to them and celebrate their promotion. Disingenuous behavior will stick out like a sore thumb or Barack Obama’s inexperience, but it will still be effective. Giving them a big hug, smiling from ear to ear or sending them cards is creepy in itself. How about calling them "champ" and giving them the thumbs up all the time? But what is he or she going to do about it? Fire you? For what exactly? Being happy for them isn’t a reason for dismissal.
6. Go Over Their Head
If you really want to show someone in a negative light then you have to go over their heads and speak with their superiors. When you come across an issue or you have discovered something incredible, try to go to upper management and have a pow wow with these professionals. If asked why you didn’t go to the target of your revenge just respond that you hadn’t seen them all day (drinky drinky?) so you thought you should seek their advice.
7. But, But, But It Wasn't Me...
If you ever watched professional wrestling then you should know a character named Gene Snitsky. He was a psychopathic character who kicked (fake) babies into the stands and had a foot fetish. Whenever he did something wrong, he would tell everybody, "It wasn’t my fault!" This became his catchphrase.
When you err at work, just tell everybody that "it wasn’t my fault." Explain to everybody that you sought the advice of the co-worker who stole your promotion but they were unhelpful or just ignored you.
On the other hand, you can really bother this individual by bringing out the Steve Urkel in you and asking, "Did I do that?" Or the Bart Simpson phrase: "I didn’t do it."
8. Move on With Your Life
Last but not least, you can just move on with your life. Do your job, clock in and clock out and hope that you’re promoted. Good things come to those who wait. Patience is a virtue. Revenge is a meal best served cold. Oh, sorry. Forget that last part. Sometimes the best revenge is to just be indifferent and wallow in your own self-pity.
It’s just not fair! You worked so hard to get promoted at the company. You sacrificed a lot for what was best for business. You’ve even given up "good times" with members of the opposite sex so you could just concentrate on the firm. What did that result in? Somebody else getting promoted. Revenge will make you feel better, but it has to be within the confines of the constitution.
Have you ever missed out on a promotion? How did you react? Let us know in the comments section...