Judging Hurts More Than It Heals
If there is anything I cannot stand it is the judgment of people from a high-brow condescending standpoint. And this usually comes from those that have made their place in the world with hard work, or maybe their parents or significant others founded their trust funds and fat lines of credit. Regardless of the way that anyone has made it “to the top,” I still don’t fathom treating people as you would not want to be treated.
This is the crux of the issue.
We are judgmental people; we have been for years. Of course, there are “good” judgments, and there are “bad” judgments. And when we judge people, it usually comes from being safe and secure. Or it comes from being opinionated. There is no shortage of opinions in this country. But there certainly is a shortage of kindness, compassion and understanding.
We want so badly to be accepted in our worlds, and to be appreciated for who we are as people. However, we are unbalanced when we do not give the same kind of respect to others that we seek for ourselves. Many of us want to be seen in ways that make us feel good and worthy. Yet there are so many of us that talk down to people, or talk behind the backs of others. Is it to exercise our opinions? Is it to release ourselves from the annoyances of having to deal with the ignorant jackasses who surround our better worlds?
I don’t know. But I do know what the laws of this universe mean to me. And it’s not just because Jesus said so, that we get exactly as we do and give to others. The universe was around a long time before Christianity took hold.
Why, then, do we so quickly use our words in negative ways when describing some of the people we have encountered? Why don’t we ever use a little bit of patience in trying to see where other people are coming from?
Because this world wasn’t made for that, at least not today’s world. Modernity teaches us that we must compete with each other, and that human error and dissonance with knowing one’s self makes that person less likeable and maybe even a bother to have to deal with. Though where does that get us? Nowhere. When we could be helping each other, talking to one another, listening, learning, deepening our knowledge of our brothers and sisters, friends, cousins, aunts, uncles, co-workers, bosses, managers, strangers … we just criticize and judge.
To me, this seems just about as ignorant as the people we are condemning.
A Nation Full of (Counterproductive) Assholes
And so be it. That’s the way the world works. It’s just that if we want to see something change or if we want to be treated and respected in a certain way -- the way we handle and deal with those notions seems to be counterproductive, if I may use such a silly and shitty word.
One might assume that a majority of us are selfish, narrow-minded and catty. But that would just make an asshole out of you and me…
But when I was growing up, there were things that happened to me that altered who I was, what I was doing with my life, and how I thought about the world, my work, and my surroundings. While this was taking place, I never gave a thought to what it would mean for my future dealings with the human species. I had no idea how I would come to be judged, and with such opinionated fervor.
Christ, no wonder! I wasn’t exactly like everybody else….
It was true. I was becoming “different.” And I was referred to as strange, although I hardly understood why. I never thought about it, really. Until people started making me feel like there was something wrong with me. Until people started judging me for my actions, decisions and lifestyle choices -- I never considered them to be right or wrong. That’s not to say that I was an immoral libertine, not giving a fucking about anything. When you mature, you tend to care a little more about what you do, what you say, and how you act.
But as I aged, and I gained experience in dealing with different types of people, from all walks of life, I realized that there was a certain amount of judging going on, about me, from people that didn’t even really know me! It woke me up, not only to myself, but I could see how off-balance a lot of people were -- especially those that thought they were doing just fine in their own lives.
What a fu**ing charade, I thought. It was making me bitter. And I never thought I’d feel that way. Just having to deal with people and their judgments made me feel like I couldn’t be myself. I didn’t like that. And who would?
Well, I had to deal with it. The world is the way it is because of the people who inhabit it. When we judge each other -- are we making the world a better place?
Do we even give a shit about that?
Growing from it is all I learned to do. That and keeping my mouth shut. Because anybody that judges you without getting to know who you really are and what you really believe -- and what your past experiences were like -- I can’t see why we should have to care too much about anything based on shallow opinions and inferences.
We shouldn’t have to feel like we have to prove ourselves to other people, in order to feel good about who we are and what we are doing with our lives.
This happens in many facets of society, not just in the workplace. Where we judge before we take the time to understand. And maybe that’s just built into us. And maybe there’s nothing we can do about it. Maybe the world is full of ignorant and careless beings. No kidding.
But how we respond to that says a lot about us.
If we can’t let people live, or if we find so many reasons to be critical about all the personalities which surround us, why are we so expectant of being accepted and appreciated for who we are and what we do?
To me, it’s that simple: if you want respect, you have to give it. Otherwise you are blocking it from happening in your own life. And if you want patient understanding from those around you, you have to be patient and understanding with them.
For some reason, we don’t feel like being that way. Most of us.
I guess it’s just easier to be an asshole. I guess it’s just easier to judge.
While We Stand Aside And Look
Romans responded aggressively, thousands of years ago, to somebody who preached peace and love and understanding.
How far have we really come?
And the point here is this: when we judge and gossip we only push those people away, alienating them or making them feel less than whom or what they really are. Some of us take longer to figure out what we want to do with our lives.
And some of us have things buried in the past that affected us in ways that only the psychologist can really make sense of.
Judging people might be fun and easy, especially for those that are blind to themselves. But it doesn’t really solve or prove anything other than the fact that the world is full of assholes.
Who cares? Those people who are judged for their lives.
Concluding Assholism’s Karmic Implications
If we want a better society, or if we want the world to be better for our children and for ourselves, then we could start by being a little more understanding of the psychological scars that the species still retains on its consciousness. Instead of adding to them.
Sometimes work and finances get placed on the back-burner, when it comes to dealing with simply being a human. And sometimes finding ourselves becomes complicated, when adjusting for inflation.
And whose fault is that?
We can’t really expect to get better and become more productive if we are constantly judging people for their faults, flaws, mistakes and inconsistencies. But we can change the way we deal with all of that, especially considering, as human beings, what we are up against.
An unquantifiable amount of variables which we ignore or reject, without trying to contemplate and find understanding.
Maybe a solution isn’t reachable for every circumstance. But I’ll leave off with this, a Justin Timberlake quote:
"What goes around goes around goes around comes all the way back around..."
Image Sourced: Don’t Judge Burning the Past