Who doesn’t want to be surrounded by people they can call their friends? And who doesn’t want to be valued and treated with respect? If you are struggling to make friends and would like to influence people in such a way that they welcome your ideas either to get new clients for your business or increase your network of contacts and followers, you will have to invest in your emotional intelligence.
Your ability to empathise and understand other people’s emotions can actually help you use and manage yours and the feelings of others more effectively and ultimately influence them the way you want. Having said that, there are many ways to approach an individual, but if you want to make them your friends you have to make sure you are doing it right.
Dale Carnegie’s self-help book ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ can tell you a lot about handling people and managing human relationships. Check out some of the tips and techniques the author originally proposed as part of his work:
1. Invest in Your People Skills
In order to be able to handle people effectively, you have to learn that criticising, condemning and complaining won’t get you far enough. Be open, friendly and honest to other people. Show that you respect and appreciate them as human beings and when you feel that you have built a relationship of mutual understanding and trust make your friends eager for something. This is perhaps the most important element in influencing others.
2. Show Genuine Interest
It is not enough to approach someone out of the blue, instead you have to let them know why you are doing it. Are you there to help them? If yes, how? Here are some ways to ensure that you are showing genuine interest, so that people will like you:
- Smile and make sure that you remember their names.
- Encourage them to talk about themselves and be a good listener.
- Make them feel important.
- Talk about the other person’s interests..
3. Get Them On Your Side
In order to encourage people to follow your way of thinking and get them in a position where they are more likely to be influenced easily you should do the following:
- Avoid arguments.
- Show respect to their opinion and never say they are wrong.
- Start with questions to which other people will say yes.
- Let the other person feel it’s their idea.
- Let them do most of the talking.
- Dramatise your ideas.
- Challenge them.
4. Give Praise
If you want to be a good leader and influence many people, it is generally good practice to give praise whenever possible. Instead of pointing out mistakes, show other people how to do certain things without giving offense or encouraging resentment. Here are some ways on how to do that:
- Begin with praise and show sincerity.
- Talk about your own mistakes first.
- Ask questions rather giving orders.
- Make them happy about doing what you suggest.
This kind of interpersonal skills would be rather useful in the fields of teaching, psychology, counseling, customer service, marketing, PR and sales. If you want to make some friends and influence others as part of your career or personal life, make sure you follow these helpful tips, and you will become a true leader!
What’s your own approach to winning friends and influencing other people? Let us know in the comments section below…