Even the most well laid plans unravel, no matter how prepared you are or how well formatted your resume/job posting is, once and a while you will meet or be interviewed by someone so horrible/dumb or incompetent you will wonder how they even managed to get dressed before the interview. And obviously, because people that are unbelievably incompetent are also infinitely funny, let’s take a look at some of the craziest stories.
Before you jump to conclusions when I say torn in the heading, remember that we are talking about job interviews gone wrong. OK, so keeping that in mind as we continue, a certain gentleman when asked what he was getting paid at his previous job discovered it was much more than the interviewers.
The interviewer thought that the fact that an engineer without a degree could make much more than her with and an advanced degree was egregious. But she reacted exactly as any adult would…by tearing the applicants resume in half and throwing it violently at him. Wow, someone regrets their life choices (here’s a hint: it’s not the engineer).
So you might study up on industry jargon, the latest buzzwords used in the field you are interested in…but you might also want to brush up on some high school vocab and synonym exercises…because thinking one word is something else might have pretty disastrous consequences, like the ones experienced by this person.
When the interviewer asked if she had any convictions, the candidate paused and apprehensively answered: “Well, no not really.” Usually, when you have a criminal conviction you would know…firmly held beliefs, on the other hand, can be extremely ambiguous.
It might come as a surprise to some people, but job applicants are looking for red-flags in employers just like employers look for red flags in candidates. It’s kind of like an extremely boring spy novel. Well, to illustrated this red-flag double cross a fine young man applied for a marketing position. When he went to the interview, the hiring manager was much younger than our friend the job seeker. Although not an immediate red-flag - let’s call it a yellow flag. The interviewer was obviously unprepared asking the candidate strangely irrelevant questions like his hobbies and favorite colour (side-note: I made up the colour thing, but it’s to illustrate my point so hopefully you’ll forgive me). After asking the interviewer what the company’s name was which was repeatedly differed by changing subject, the interviewer said: “Company X” (not the real name but I changed it because I don’t feel like getting sued for defamation or libel).
The candidate went home researched the company and found out that the job was actually for business to business sales. He immediately called “Company X” and told them he wasn’t interested anymore. This was just the beginning, though, because, in the proceeding weeks, the interviewer called the candidate no less than 15 times. The last message he left sounded like it was from a bar: “Do me a solid, if I don’t hire someone my boss said he’d put me back in sales” well we can assume that the interviewer was put back in sales shortly after.
AA - TMI
It happens more often than you think. People with turbulent pasts, decide to walk the straight and narrow, get their life and priorities straight and lead (hopefully) a productive life. The first part of being a productive member of society is having gainful employment; it allows you to afford housing, transportation, some even argue: dignity. Well, our protagonist was interviewing people for a position with Loss Prevention in a Fortune 100 company. The resumes were carefully scrutinized and the potential employees had been previously been interviewed, now the only thing that stood between them and the job was our interviewer…and he was no push over. The position would enable the candidates to “easily” steal a lot of money if they were unethical or coerced by external factors (like blackmail or influence from people in their family or circle of friends).
One day a very personable, qualified young woman step into his office, the interview went as well as he had hoped when suddenly the woman revealed that she used to be and addict, had two boys and was also a prostitute at some point. Because the interviewer had also been in rehab he understood and actually considered it a plus as people trying to get clean work incredibly hard (well, because they have something to prove). With the job pretty much in hand, as she was leaving she mentioned that her recently released from prison drug-dealer boyfriend had moved back into her apartment. Even though he did it with a heavy heart, he was forced to take the young woman out of the pool of applicants.
We are all human, with all the gross bodily functions that go along with it…we all know this, but those gross bodily functions are still embarrassing to no end. Our candidate had one such experience. She showed up to the interview early (as you must always do) and decided to go check her makeup in the restroom. While she was in there, a woman in a suit ran into a stall and started having and extremely violent body function.
As the candidate panicked gathering her things she was hit with a tidal wave of smell that made her dry heave. She ran out dropping some of her cosmetics and sat back down in the reception area. To her horror, the interviewer turned out to be the woman from the restroom. The interviewer was so embarrassed that her co-worker was forced to take over.
See Also: How to Handle Stressful Interviews
Do you have a personal horrible interview story? Let us know in the comment section below.