If you are one of the lucky ones, you have a manager that listens to your input, values your opinion, and doesn’t micro-manage or beraid you. You are free to be as creative as you want and your manager truly values your innovative ideas. There is nothing like having a boss who is encouraging, reliable, and lighthearted. Having a manager that is an all around good guy is a rare thing to run across, honestly. Can you truly say that you’ve loved your manager at every job you’ve had? Probably not.
Some of us are left with nuances that call themselves managers. They stifle your ability to generate original ideas. They hover over you because they don’t think you can do your job. (Which is odd, seeing as they probably hired you.) Also, they poorly manage their employees as well as the office space. You are pretty sure you can do a better job as manager than your current one. Actually, you are certain that you can run the company better than your current one. Unfortunately, you are not in a position of power and you are not the superior. But there is a way to help guide your superior in the right direction. You can steer your boss’ mind to better cater to the needs of the business, your colleagues, and yourself. I’m not talking about hypnosis and other ridiculous magic tricks. I’m leaning more towards deception, but for the greater good. Here are seven ways to manipulate your manager’s mind.
1. Show Some Skin
Sex appeal is prevalent throughout history. Fairy Tales, Shakespearean tragedies, and today’s media all have one thing in common, lust. As the animals we are, humans are innately sexually driven. In every story you’ve ever been told or watched play out on television, there is always a love component. There is always a storyline where people find themselves attracted to one another. It’s where words like ‘hot’ and ‘smokin’ take on an entirely different meaning than the original definition. Sexual attraction is a natural human feeling and unless your boss is an alien, then I’m sure he has fallen victim to the pull of someone’s gorgeous looks. If you are confident enough, you can use your sex appeal to manipulate your manager’s mind. Search your closet for something that shows a little more skin than usual, but is still work appropriate. Walk into your manager’s office and watch him fall to his knees. Not literally, of course. But you have a better chance of getting him to listen you if he is distracted by the part of your body that you forgot to cover up this morning. You don’t go to the gym for nothing. Work your magic on your manager and get him to do as you say.
2. Explain How “It” Can Benefit Him
I’m pretty sure this technique is used by politicians on a daily basis. How else would they get people to vote for them and help them make changes in their respective countries? Politicians explain their goals in a way that makes the voters feel like they will benefit from the new rules the politicians propose. I wouldn’t go so far as to saying we are gullible but to a certain extent we can be mislead into cheering for something we wouldn’t have been cheering for prior to hearing a persuasive speech. By telling us that an idea will be the greatest thing ever and will make our lives easier and happier, we jump on board with anything. Learn from our lovely politicians and manipulate your manager by explaining to him how your big idea will benefit him. Your manager will selfishly gobble up your idea because he thinks it’s all about him 24/7. He will be the puppet and you will be pulling all the strings.
3. Pull On Your Manager’s Heartstrings
If your manager is a cold-hearted bitch then this technique might not work. You need to have a manager that is somewhat empathetic- which is a rare trait to find in a superior. Most managers’ rule with an iron fist. Not so much a dictatorship, but definitely not candyland with gumdrops and marshmallows. You need to have a boss that has emotional intelligence. When trying to manipulate your manager, make him think with his heart instead of his mind. His heart will scream yes and overpower the urge to say no. You might need to do some research on your boss in order to figure out what makes him tick. Does he cry with sad movies, commercials, or television shows? Does he get upset when he sees animals on the street? What ignites his heart and makes him break out of the “top dog” persona? Figure that out and he becomes putty in your hands.
4. Feed Your Manager’s Ego
Dish out the compliments before you serve up your ideas to your boss. The compliments will put him in a good mood and make him feel like a king. The king will then listen to your input seeing as how you are one of his employees that make him feel great about his decisions and his role at the company. You become the person that validates his life and will gladly take your opinion into consideration when it comes to the company. He is already listening to you when it comes to his ego so you just have to slip your opinion about company endeavors into his ear. Make his head bigger and there will be room inside for your own viewpoint.
5. Take Advantage of Your Manager’s Closest Friend
Even though your manager seems like he spends his nights alone, he definitely has a best friend. You don’t make it to the top without some kind of support. Locate his confidant in the company and use them to get your point across to your manager. Get your boss’ friend to understand your point of view and they will do all of the dirty work for you. You may never have to actually talk to your superior, but you will definitely have all the power.
6. Show Him The Research
This is probably the most logical form of manipulation. It you want to alter your boss’ mind, show him the research that proves that you know what you are talking about. He won’t just see you as a subordinate. He will see you as someone with experience in your field, who is talented, and someone who wants the best for the company; just like he does. Doing your research will give your manager less opportunity to dispute your input and more reason to listen.
7. Feed Him
Food is the key to everyone’s heart. Find out what your manager’s favorite food is and use it against him. If he is all about chocolate, decorate his desk with chocolate bars and chocolate cake. If he is more of a steak guy, slap a big fat cow on his desk. If he is like me and gulps down wine as a hobby, buy him the most expensive bottle you can afford. Use his stomach to manipulate his mind.
As you can see, there are different ways to manipulate your manager’s mind. Depending on who you are and what type of boss you have, you can control all of his decisions when it comes to the company you both work for. You can become the puppet master and he will become your little marionette.