Career Testing
Career Testing
Career Testing
CAREER ADVANCEMENT / SEP. 10, 2015
version 8, draft 8

How Being a Gold Digger Can Make you Successful

Call someone a gold digger to their face and you just might get slapped across yours. That’s because calling someone a gold digger is seen as derogatory in today’s society. When you call someone a gold digger, you’re essentially saying that they don’t care about a person’s feelings. They’re only interested in the contents of a person’s pockets and the size of their bank account. Romanticism? Pshaw. It’s all about getting paid, baby. But why should that be a bad thing?

See Also: Top 10 Habits Of Super Successful People

I would argue that being a gold digger should be celebrated. In a world where the more you have, the more security you can provide for your family – and yourself – being a gold digger should be a compliment, not a dig on a person’s character. The term should be seen for what it is – an ambitious trait that separates the poor from the wealthy, the unconfident from the confident.

So if you’re currently struggling and you’re looking for a fast-track to greatness (and gargantuan stacks of cash), take a page from the playbook of the world’s most famous diggers. Here are seven ways being a gold digger can make you successful (not to mention filthy rich).

1. Learn the Secrets of Success From the Source

You can’t be a gold digger all on your own. And you’re never going to gather those stacks of cash in the comfort of your bedroom with nothing more than a computer and an internet connection. You have to go out and meet a sugar momma or daddy. That’s the first step to being a bona fide digger.

Where do you meet a wealthy benefactor intent on supporting you financially in exchange for (sex and) attention? For this, you can start using the internet. There are sites specifically for sugar babies to meet sugar mommas and daddies, and you can research where local millionaires and billionaires are most likely to hang out in your area, but you’re eventually going to have to meet those people in person.

When you do finally meet one, you’ll be exposed to those very personalities that have made it where so many others have failed. You’ll have the benefit of learning how these people made their fortunes, and what sets them apart from other members of their generations. The best aspects of these individuals will largely rub off on you, giving you a leg up in the success department. And, of course, the fact that they’re willing to share their vast resources with you doesn’t hurt either.

2. Get a Big Old Ego Boost

When someone is prepared to pay you for your time, or support you merely for hanging out with them, it really puffs up your ego. It feels damned good knowing that you’re so valuable that a person will pay your bills and lavish you with gifts merely for being you. How can this help you be successful? The largest aspect of achieving success is believing in yourself. The more you believe in yourself, the higher you’ll climb up any social and professional ladder.

3. Learn to Demand What you Deserve

The product of someone lavishing you with gifts helps you come to expect those gifts. This also has the effect of boosting your ego, but it also forces you to demand what you think you’re worth. If your chosen partner decides to buy you a Honda Civic, even if it’s a 2016 model, you’ll quickly swivel your head and wave your finger in the air while exclaiming, “Hell no!” It’s BMW or bust, baby! We’re talking Bentley or bye bye. And then there are the vacations to tropical isles and dinners in the ritziest of places. Being a gold digger teaches you to demand the best and never settle – another prime trait of successful people.

4. You Don’t Have to Work

Most people who go to day jobs will never be successful. Why? Because they’re spending most of their days – minimum eight hours – making someone else wealthy and fulfilling someone else’s dreams.

When you have someone else paying your bills and buying you whatever you want, you have the freedom to pursue your own dreams – and the liquid cash to do so. Getting whatever you want comes easy when you’re a gold digger, whether that’s jewelry, clothes, shoes, cars and all your bills paid.

When you don’t have to worry about working a job you hate, the whole world becomes your oyster. And that puts you in an optimum position to be successful – a position 99 percent of the world’s population will envy you for, and you’ll have no qualms gloating about because your ego is so goddamned boosted. Who has time to work? There’s gold to dig for and someone else is always footing the bill.

5. You Get to Stop Worrying About Money

You know what happens when you’re always worried about money? It makes it really difficult to think about anything else. When you’re worried about keeping the lights on, you want to bury your head under the covers, not go out and achieve your dreams. But when you have everything handed to you, you suddenly have all the time in the world to pursue that which makes you happy. Want to be a singer, professional model or actor? Now you can make life happen for you when you’re not working like most schlubs you come in contact with.

When money is no longer an issue, you become active instead of reactive. You are able to focus on the task at hand, getting paid, receiving gifts and steadily climbing higher and higher. When you’re not worried about where your next paycheck is coming from, life becomes fun again and every day feels like a new adventure. Doesn’t that sound awesome? Doesn’t that sound like success? It does to me.

6. Get in the Best Shape of Your Life

Some of the most successful people in the world are in fantastic shape. Coincidence? Probably not. Studies show that being in shape can help you get a better job and a better salary. And working out often makes you more motivated to succeed, helping you climb the success ladder even higher.

Well, guess what? When you no longer have to go to a day job you hate, you have the luxury of working out all day long. You also have the money to afford the best health food and the most motivating trainers. You’ll be in such good shape even models will ask you how you achieved your figure. Not only will getting in fantastic shape help you feel even better about yourself, but you’ll succeed in attracting the richest of the rich. And who knows? You might even attract two or three sugar mommas or daddies, keeping a steady stream of money flowing your way.

Work on your abs and you’ll absolutely make more money. That should be the credo of gold diggers everywhere. I’m trademarking it as we speak.

7. You Become Ruthless

The most successful people in the world are cold-blooded. They aren’t filled with useless emotions like sympathy and empathy. You’re a gold digger, and you’re in it to win it, to get paid and to receive more. You’re not in it for love, and your sugar momma or daddy knows this all too well.

To put it plainly, when you’re a gold digger, you’re ready to move on the moment your beneficiary loses the shirt off their back. This can only serve you well in life. You’ll always have your eye on the next best thing – otherwise known as the next paycheck in pants who vies for your attention.

Being ruthless is a trait some of the most successful people in the world possess, and it’s a trait gold diggers pride themselves on. You’re looking out for number one and you’ll make it clear that you’ll never get attached to one person, place or thing – except those gifts that have been lavished upon you. You’re not giving those up. Duh.

See Also: 10 Powerful Quotes on Leadership and Success from Powerful Women Today

There are many ways to find success. You can work your way up the corporate ladder, you can open your own business or you can become a gold digger. Hopefully, these seven points have convinced you that only chumps work for a living or start companies that may fail. The fast track to success is to work on yourself – and your body – and to attract a sugar momma or daddy. Get paid by giving nothing more than your attention (and a little bit of sex) and you’ll soon unlock life’s easy difficulty level. Whee!

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