Hiding Your Romantic Feelings Towards a Coworker

The guy seated across you makes your heart skip a bit whenever he calls your name. You laugh uncontrollably at his jokes and find him extremely fascinating. It turns out that you have deep feelings for this particular person but want to keep it under wraps because either the firm does not allow inner-office romance or you have your own policies about this issue. Whatever the reason, follow these steps to ensuring you hide your crush.

1. Get real with your feelings

Sometimes we feel infatuation and not real love. Strong feelings are involved in both cases albeit it is easier to overcome infatuation than real love. Workplace excitement and pressures can bring about attraction between workmates hence it is paramount that you establish whether what you are feeling is temporary or something enduring. Ask yourself some or all of the following questions;

  • How much do you know this person?
  • Does their seemingly allure in the office attract you?
  • Do you honestly and intimately know this person?
  • Outside of the workplace, have you had time to learn about each other or you only know them from the office?

2. Consider their title

The object of your attraction could be your boss or subordinate. Lusting after these two groups of people is recipe for trouble in the workplace. There a number of possible risks involved including expecting to be favoured more and abuse of power. Such romance can make the workplace messy and even lead to legal issues or dismissal. Hence having a romantic partner that is your boss or subordinate is better left to dreamland.

3. Why the need to hide your love

In order to develop a strategy that works to hide your feelings towards your coworker, it is vital that you fully understand the consequences of both revealing and hiding your love. Some of the possible reasons include the following:

  • It’s just a simple crush as you have not even told your crush about it
  • You worry about what the other workers will think of the situation because it may lead to strained friendships in the workplace
  • There are rules that forbid inner office romance in the office
  • You are concerned that your feelings may be one way
  • You are already in a committed relationship

4. Reason why a relationship with that person can never be

Think carefully or better still write the reasons why you should never have a relationship with this person. Doing this is a good way of quelling your love and getting them out of your head. Look at some of the possible reasons below:

  • Complications associated with hiding your affection from everyone in the workplace
  • The age difference between you and the coworker as well as their professional experience may be what causes insecurities
  • Your co-worker’s negative qualities could be too much for you to handle
  • The office romance could lead to too much distraction for you
  • There is a high possibility that after work when there is nothing to talk about but work, the company of your crush is extremely boring
  • In the case of a break up, your job or job satisfaction could be compromised

5. Be more realistic about romance

Taking a “mind over matter” approach is helpful when concealing affection from coworkers. Stay away from fantasies and romantic thoughts as these are what fuel affection in ways you cannot begin to imagine. Close your mind totally to the possibility of having a romantic relationship with that person. Some of the tips that may be of help include:

  • Think about a completely different person to date
  • Consider them as off-limits
  • Say no to any innuendos from your coworker however tempting it may be.

6. Maintain a safe distance from your coworker

The best way to let love fade is to always maintain a safe distance between you and your employer. This may be a bit difficult if you work directly with this person but you may consider communicating with them via Emails or online channels instead of one on one. Some of the tips include:

  • Minimize your contact if they are in another department
  • Do not go out of your way to avoid them but keep your distance graciously
  • Treat the coworker like you would anyone else

Are you in a position where you cannot reveal your affection at work? Well, all you have to do now is hide it till you make it!