Sometimes we just need a break from work, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. You certainly won’t be the first person to lie your way out of work for the day – or the last, for that matter. In fact, 38% of respondents to a 2015 survey admitted to having called in sick when they were feeling perfectly fine – a figure that rose by 10% in comparison to the previous year’s findings.
Today is just one of those days when you want to stay home in your PJs and catch up on your favorite TV series, but there’s just one thing you need to sort out first. You need to call your boss up and tell him you won’t be going into the office because, well… you don’t know why, actually.
Sounds like you’re in urgent need of a believable excuse, and that’s where we come in because we’ve compiled a list of 22 excuses to get out of work today!
1. My Grandmother/Great Aunt Gladys/etc. died: This is probably the most used excuse ever when it comes to missing work, meaning that it often gets used when your Great Aunt Gladys is, in fact, in tip-top shape and sipping on piña coladas on a cruise around the Caribbean. Make sure that you don’t “kill off” the same person twice, though, as it’s sure to raise an eyebrow or two, and try to use fictional people or loved ones who have already passed on in the event that the person you say has died does die – you really don’t want the guilt on you. An added benefit is that the death of a loved one means there’ll be a funeral to attend, i.e.: another day off for you.
2. I have a family emergency: You don’t even have to go into any details. It’s a family emergency; it’s personal. Simple and no specifics required.
3. I lost my voice: This a great excuse if your job involves interacting with people, especially via telephone. How can you speak to a customer when you can hardly talk? All you have to do is call your boss in a barely audible whisper, and you’ll have no doubt earned yourself an awesome day off.
4. I need to stay home to take care of my sick child: He has chicken pox, a stomach bug, whatever; if there’s no one else available to look after your child, you’ve got to stay home – simple as that. You can even use this excuse for your “sick” husband (or wife) but you will need a better reason than man flu (even though it is a thing).
5. I have a terrible headache: And no amount of paracetamol has helped so far. There’s no way your boss will expect you to go to work with a headache (no matter how big or small) when you can’t focus on anything within two meters, never mind expense reports and other important work documents.
6. I’m sick: From an allergic reaction to vertigo and food poisoning to toothaches, this excuse has you covered.
7. My shrink says I need a day off: Who can argue with the advice of a psychiatrist?
8. I stayed up too late working and I’m too tired to come in: Not only will your boss commend you for your work ethic, he might even be the one to suggest that you take the day off!
9. My alarm didn’t go off: It happens to best of us, and it’s bound to have happened to your boss at least once in their life. These things happen, even if you do have a backup alarm (or three).
10. My boyfriend/girlfriend dumped me: You’ve just been dumped, or you just broke up with your boyfriend after catching him cheating on you with the next-door neighbor. You’re a mess, and you need some time to yourself to gather your thoughts. Even better: you’re getting divorced.
11. I’m having a baby: This won’t work if you haven’t been visibly pregnant for the past nine months or if you’re a man.
12. I ran over a dog/cat. I need to take it to the vet: Well, your boss doesn’t just expect you to leave it there now, does he? Plus, it’s been a traumatic experience for you, what with being an animal lover and all.
13. I fell in the shower: It happens. You slipped, and you hurt your back. You can’t move. You’ve got to stay home today.
14. There was a car accident: The road’s been closed and you don’t know what time you’ll be in. After a couple of hours, you can check in with your boss again and tell them you’re still stuck and that you’re probably not going to be in today. Just make sure that there is an accident; technology is your worst enemy, and your boss can find out whether or not there was an accident where you said there was.
15. I’m afraid of the weather: Astraphobia is a thing, and it’s characterized by an abnormal fear of lightning. Use this creative excuse on a stormy day, and you’re ready for a Grey’s Anatomy marathon.
16. It’s my birthday: If you’re one of the lucky few who are allowed a paid day off on their birthday, there’s nothing stopping you from using this one. Most companies that do offer this little perk to their employees will usually let the birthday boy or girl take a day off sometime in their birthday week. Meanwhile, do remember that your company will have your date of birth on record, so there’s no point in trying to lie your way to a day off here.
17. I’m getting married: You and your boyfriend/girlfriend decided to elope. It’s highly doubtful that your boss will stand in the way of true love, but they might expect to see photos of your wedding that was officiated by Elvis in Vegas.
18. I have to babysit: “My babysitter’s sick and no else can look after my kid, so I have to stay home with her”. Who can argue with that?
19. I witnessed a crime: Whether it was a hit and run or someone just robbed a shop, the police are going to want to take your statement. An even better excuse would be that you were the victim of a mugging or that your car was stolen. Your boss may be a douche, but there’s no way he’d make you go into work after that, right?
20. I have jury duty: The call of duty awaits you, and even your almighty boss can’t get in the way of that. Be careful, though: he may ask for proof.
Religion & Beliefs
21. I believe the apocalypse may be coming today: You don’t have to believe that the end is nigh, but pretending that you are a believer will undoubtedly guarantee you the day off, and you don’t even have to wait till 2020 (the next date predicted for an apocalyptic event). Just tell your boss you have a hunch that today is the day. On the other hand, you could just tell him your fortune teller said that you’re going to die today, and you’ve decided to stay home because you don’t want to take your chances.
22. It’s a religious holiday: If you’re Muslim, for example, you can use the Islamic New Year (on October 2) and your religion as an excuse to miss work. The best part is that US labor law requires employers to accommodate an employee’s religious observances and practices. Just make sure you are Muslim in this case, and that you won’t get caught out.
What excuses have you used to skip work? Tell us in the comments section below, and don’t forget to share this article with family and friends who might be looking for a good excuse to get out of work today!