How to Know Your Coworker, Relative or Friend is Jealous of You

Some people seem to have everything going well for them. Your success may elicit envious feelings in workmates, relatives or friends. Knowing that a person is jealous of your success, however, may be difficult if you can’t spot the signs. The following tips can help you determine when a co-worker, relative or friend is full of envy about your achievements.

Negative Comments

According to Mary C. Lamia of Psychology Today, you may know that a person is jealous when he or she makes nasty remarks about your accomplishments. The individual may make derogatory comments directly to you or indirectly through social media, such as Facebook and Twitter. Other people may also report the negative words said about you during your absence.

They May Avoid You

Jealousy may be evident when a person suddenly avoids your company. You may notice this trait mostly with your close friends with whom you may have spent plenty of time in the past. All of a sudden, the individual may be too busy to go out and have lunch or a drink. A person may behave in this way to avoid witnessing your prosperity especially if you are paying for the treat.

They Don’t Handle Compliments Well

An envious co-worker, relative or friend may show it by taking your compliments rather ungraciously. Jealous people may feel guilty or appear uncomfortable when you give them compliments. They may react in this way, because the compliments may contradict their real behavior toward you.

Backhanded Compliments

In contrast, jealous people may refuse to give you credit for your success. Instead, they may give it to something or someone else. For example, they may attribute your success in obtaining a great job to your relationship with an employer. To such people, you don’t deserve the good things that you have.

Diminishing Your Success

You may notice people’s jealousy when you give them good news that has come your way. Their response may be insincere and accompanied by a big fake smile to mask their true feelings. Unlike in the past when they may have reacted excitedly to your good news, now they may appear unexcited or try to undermine the importance of news. They may attempt to justify their downgrade by claiming they want you to “be realistic.” In the process, they may remind you of your failures in the past.

Lack of Support

Jealous people may tell you that you are not good enough when you try something new and exciting. The new thing could be a job, romantic relationship or anything that the individual may not have. Such people may try to discourage you from following your dreams to ensure you are in the same or lower level as they are.


Identifying a jealous friend, colleague or relative could be difficult, as they may mask their true feelings. However, you may find it easy to know if the people you interact with are envious of you by the indicators mentioned here. When you figure out how they feel, you may be able to deal with the problem.

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